In which Gilbert engages in an extremely dubious business transaction with Dr Egbunike, with the aim of obtaining enough money to treat his seriously-ill son, and in which Dr Egbunike proves extremely unwilling to debate the finer points of economic theory with a fellow economist.

Cast of characters

Gilbert Murray – a doctor of economics at Cleethorpes University.
Dr James Egbunike – allegedly Manager of Bills and Exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of the African International Bank (AIB) of Nigeria PLC.

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: REPLY QUICK

Sent: Sat, 07 Feb 2024 05:12:28 +0300 (MSK)

Reply to me at: dtr_js@yahoo.co.uk.

Attn: Dear Friend,

STRICTLY AND PRIVATE BUSINESS PROPOSAL.

I am Dr James Egbunike, the Manager of Bills and Exchange at the Foreign Remittance Department of the African International Bank (AIB) of Nigeria PLC.

I am writing this letter to ask for your support and co-operation to carry out this business opportunity in my department.

We discovered an abandoned sum of $24,200,000.00 (twenty-four million, two hundred thousand United States dollars only) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers, who died along with his entire family of a wife and two children in November 1997 in a plane crash.

Since we heard of his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and put claims for his money as the heir, because we cannot release the fund from his account unless someone applies for claim as the next of kin to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines.

Unfortunately, neither their family member nor distant relative has ever appeared to claim the said fund.

Upon this discovery, I and other officials in my department have agreed to make business with you and release the total amount into your account as the heir of the fund since no one came for it or discovered he maintained an account with our bank, otherwise the fund will be returned to the bank’s treasury as an unclaimed fund.

We have agreed that our ratio of sharing will be as stated thus: 20% for you as our foreign partner, 75% for us, the officials in my department, and 5% for the settlement of all local and foreign expenses incurred by us and you during the course of this business.

Upon the successful completion of this transfer, I and one of my colleagues will come to your country and mind our share. It is from our 75% we intend to invest in estate and import agricultural machineries into my country as a way of recycling the fund.

To commence this transaction, we require you to immediately indicate your interest by a return email, and to enclose your private contact telephone number and fax number to enable us to file a letter of claim to the appropriate departments for necessary approvals before the transfer can be made.

Note also, this transaction must be kept STRICTLY CONFIDENTIAL because of its nature.

I look forward to receiving your prompt response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

Email: dtr_js@yahoo.co.uk

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I may be in a position to help you

Sent: Tue, 10 Feb 2024 08:58:36

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I have just read the email that you sent to me. The business proposition you put forward sounds intriguing, and extremely profitable.

I may well be in a position to help you out, but I would like to know exactly what I would have to do.

Please send me more details.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Wed, 11 Feb 2024 18:30:56 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Mail received.

Thank you for your mail and your willingness to assist us in the completion of this business transaction.

All modalities for the swift transfer of this fund have been worked out.

We require of you to forward the following informations:

Your full name.

Your private phone and fax numbers.

Your banking informations (bank name, bank address, bank phone and fax number, bank account name and bank account number).

These will allow us to file in an application of claim as the next of kin to the late customer.

All the proceedings are to be legalised, and all documents of claim which includes the affidavit and the death certification of the deceased will be issued to you for clarification purposes.

You must have to assure us that you can handle a business of such magnitude.

Should you have any further question to ask, please feel free to contact me anytime on 234-803-303-5460 for further clarifications and directives, and I will be willing to answer.

I await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Let us move forward

Sent: Thu, 12 Feb 2024 09:43:04

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for providing me with the additional information I requested in your detailed email. I am most obliged to you.

I have to say, there is one point that is still bothering me. How can I pretend to be the next of kin to your unfortunately deceased customer, when I know nothing about them? I would be grateful if you could forward me as much information as possible about the deceased, so that I am able to play the part of their relative with conviction. Otherwise, I fear that the deception we are planning may be uncovered due to an inadvertent slip on my part.

You asked for assurance that I am capable of handling business of such magnitude. I would like to assure you that I am a responsible, mature, trustworthy person, with a great deal of experience in handling confidential matters.

Although I live in relative isolation in the middle of the Lincolnshire fens, I am not without contacts in high places thanks to my wife, Elizabeth, who comes from a rather patrician background. If required, I could provide you with a number of character references from friends of mine in high places, namely Neil Hamilton and Jonathan Aitken. Please let me know if you require these: I am sure I could get them to you within a couple of weeks.

You requested my personal details. Here they are:

Full Name: Dr Gilbert Arnold Murray

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Telephone: 01927 58367

Bank Account Name: Dr Gilbert Arnold Murray

Bank Account Number: 74053275

Sort Code: 21-38-19

Account Holding Bank: Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK

I note that you too are a doctor – what a coincidence! Tell me, in what subject did you obtain your doctorate?

I look forward to hearing from you by return, and to you sending me further information on the deceased, so that I can play the part of their next of kin adequately.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Sat, 14 Feb 2023 09:52:54 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail, I am glad that you were able to ask a very sensitive question.

We have already applied for this fund on your behalf as the next of kin to this late customer, and they have requested through the lawyer, the death certificate of the late customer and an affidavit of claim on your behalf.

However, I have been able to mobilise the lawyer to secure the death certificate of the late customer (Mr Mark J Dobson) from Port Harcourt, Nigeria, where he died.

And as soon as this is ready, I will forward a copy of it to you. The lawyer has also started the process of swearing an affidavit of claim on your behalf at the Federal High Court of Nigeria. So as soon as all these are ready, I will forward all these legal documents to you.

I am also happy, as you said that you can handle this transaction with utmost secrecy which it deserves.

Call me later today on 234-803-303-5460, for a more verbal explanation.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: Very Urgent

Sent: Sun, 15 Feb 2023 10:47:32

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that things are moving forward here. You seem very proactive – well done.

However, I still do not understand how I will be able to put myself forward as the next of kin to the deceased – will anyone believe me? This is rather troubling and I would appreciate your reassurance that there will be no danger of anyone finding out about this deception. Such adverse publicity could be most damaging to someone such as myself.

Also, you did not let me know what sort of doctor you are – are you a medical doctor, or a doctor of psychology, for example? I am most interested to know.

I look forward to hearing your response, and to working with you on this transaction.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

PS. Would you like me to obtain any character references for you? If so, please let me know as soon as possible so that I can contact Aitken and Hamilton and get the ball rolling. They are rather busy men.

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Very Urgent

Sent: Sun, 15 Feb 2023 17:16:36 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail.

How are you doing? Well I am happy about you writing me.

I want to let you know that modalities have been worked out to ensure the easy and safe transfer of this money to your nominated bank account in the UK.

Well, I must tell you that I am a Doctor in Economics. I obtained the doctorate degree as an economist.

However, I want to use this medium to re-assure you that everything is in absolute order.

Still keep this business in utmost secrecy.

Thanks.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: What a coincidence!

Sent: Sun, 15 Feb 2023 20:13:41

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email, and for your reassurance that there will be no problems with this business transaction. I am most pleased to hear this.

So, you are a Doctor of Economics... this is an amazing coincidence: I am a Doctor of Economics too! I work as a Lecturer in the Economics Department of the University of Cleethorpes, teaching economics to the students and conducting research in a number of fields. It is an honour to be dealing with a fellow economist. I see this as a sign that our business relationship is going to be most fruitful.

At the moment, I am investigating the role of the contra-rotational economic cycle in the development of the typical trans-capitalist monetary policy. Tell me, my dear fellow, in which areas do you specialise?

Now that we are getting to know each other a little better, I feel that I should give you some idea of what attracted me to your proposal in the first place. My wife and I have a son, Gilbert Jnr, who is unfortunately afflicted with Winton’s Syndrome. Gilbert is only six years old at the moment, but is already severely troubled with the disease. Unfortunately, there is no cure. However, a forward-thinking American clinic, run by a genius called Dr Phibes, has achieved astounding results in treating sufferers from Winton’s, and improving their quality of life enormously. Many sufferers are able to live virtually normal lives following a course of treatment at Dr Phibes’ clinic.

Unfortunately, this treatment is highly experimental, and there is no such treatment available in this country. To get Gilbert Jnr treated at Dr Phibes’ clinic in America would be prohibitively expensive. Therefore, my wife and I have started to raise funds locally to enable Gilbert Jnr to travel over to America and receive a course of treatment at Dr Phibes’ clinic. At present, thanks to the generosity of the local people, we have raised approximately £13,000. However, we are still far short of the total amount required – we require approximately £240,000 to enable Gilbert to travel over, accompanied by his mother, and benefit from a full course of treatment. It is my hope that your proposal will provide us with enough funds to enable Gilbert Jnr to receive the treatment he so needs.

I must go now, my dear Dr Egbunike. It is time for Gilbert Jnr’s daily de-scaling before we put him to bed for the night.

I look forward to hearing from you again soon, and to moving forward with this transaction with all speed. I would like to assure you, by the way, that I am keeping this transaction strictly between ourselves. I have not even told my wife Elizabeth about it: I do not wish to raise her hopes prematurely.

Wishing you a pleasant night.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

PS. I take it that you do not require the character references I mentioned. I very much appreciate the fact that you trust me without recourse to such references – I have always thought that trust is key in all relationships.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Please keep me informed as to our progress

Sent: Mon, 16 Feb 2023 20:43:29

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I am slightly disappointed not to have heard from you today. I was hoping to receive a progress update from you.

I would be grateful if you could let me know how things are going as soon as possible, and tell me what our next move is. I am anxious to move forward as quickly as possible, for Gilbert Jnr’s sake.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: What is going on?

Sent: Wed, 18 Feb 2023 13:37:05

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I am concerned not to have heard from you this week. I am most anxious to move forward with the business proposal you put forward.

Please do not tell me that you are pulling out from this transaction. I am depending on it, my dear fellow.

I would appreciate it if you could let me know what is going on by return.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Everything is in perfect order

Sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2023 15:42:52 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

I am really sorry for the delay in responding to your mails.

Well, I got your mails, and thanks for them. Well, I want to confidently tell you that everything is working well and in perfect order.

So, this money will hit your account from a correspondent bank in New York, America. The Chase Manhattan Bank, New York.

I will get back to you as soon as possible with informations on what next to do.

Thanks.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

Note: I pray the good God will heal your son and everything will get back to normal.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I am extremely relieved to hear from you

Sent: Thu, 19 Feb 2023 17:22:53

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am extremely relieved to have heard from you: I was beginning to fear that your silence meant that you had come to some harm.

It is good to hear that everything is in order. However, I am slightly confused: you say that the money will be transferred into my account from a bank in America, but you work for a bank in Nigeria. Are you going to transfer the money from your bank to the Chase Manhattan Bank first, then transfer it to my bank account? Please explain.

You will be pleased to hear that I have still managed to keep this business a secret between you and I.

By the way, thank you for your kind wishes regarding my son. I hope that we can move forward with this business with some speed from now on: Gilbert Jnr’s bubos have been particularly troublesome this week, and it pains me to see the boy in such discomfort. The sooner we can get Gilbert Jnr on a plane bound for Dr Phibes’ clinic, the better.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Progress

Sent: Fri, 20 Feb 2023 15:57:36

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I am again rather concerned about the pace at which this transaction is moving forward: things seem to be at a standstill. You originally assured me that “all modalities for the swift transfer of this fund has been worked out”, and yet we have made no progress whatsoever for almost a week.

This simply will not do, Dr Egbunike. I responded to your initial email precisely because you sounded like the kind of man who got things done. Yet all I have experienced so far are delays from your end. I am a man of action, Dr Egbunike, and Gilbert Jnr’s rapidly-worsening state of health makes me keener than ever to complete this transaction as quickly as possible.

You may be interested to hear that I received an email from a Mr Abacha this morning, who is apparently the nephew of the former leader of your country. He has put forward a most interesting business proposal, not entirely dissimilar in nature to your own.

I am sorry to have to say this, Dr Egbunike, but unless I see more action from you on this business, I will be forced to consider pulling out of this venture and moving forward with Mr Abacha, who has assured me that he will do all he can to expedite a speedy conclusion to the business he is proposing.

By the way, you may be able to help me out with a small economics conundrum that came up today at the University. I was having a most interesting discussion with Professor Dodd, a visiting Professor of Economics from the University of Knotty Ash. Professor Dodd was arguing that logarithmically-rising demand-pull inflation in the typical neo post-consumerist economy leads eventually to a discumknockerated public sector; I, however, put forward the opposing view that it leads to a tattifilarious public sector. This is much more Professor Dodd’s area than my own, but I feel sure that the man is mistaken. What do you think, my good fellow?

I hope to hear from you by return, with details of how we can move forward swiftly with this business, Dr Egbunike.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Wed, 25 Feb 2023 09:35:35 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

I am sorry for my inability to respond to your mail earlier before now.

I was out of station to Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory of Nigeria, with my lawyer to solicit for the final release of this fund into your bank account before the end of this week.

I have made several attempts to reach you on the phone number you gave me but I couldn’t get through, I will advise you to call me immediately you receive this mail on 234-1-776-7103, so that I can be able to brief you on the mode of transfer of this fund into your bank account.

Lastly, stay away from the Abacha’s family business, else you find yourself in trouble.

I am expecting your immediate response.

Your friend,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I am delighted to hear from you

Sent: Wed, 25 Feb 2023 10:33:05

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I was delighted to receive your email this morning. To be perfectly honest, I had given up all hope of hearing from you again. Once again, your long silence made me fear that you had come to some harm. All sorts of terrible thoughts were racing through my mind – I feared that you had been involved in an accident, or had been devoured by wild beasts. I am most relieved to find that all is well.

However, due to your failure to get in touch, I have continued discussions with Mr Abacha, who I mentioned to you in my last email. As you contacted me first, I feel that it is only right and proper that I move forward with your proposition in preference to Mr Abacha’s. However, I have to say that Mr Abacha has proved himself to be most diligent in keeping in touch, and responds to my emails and telephone calls with a good deal more urgency than you have shown so far.

If I am to move forward with you rather than with Mr Abacha, you must give me your assurance that from now on you will treat this matter with the urgency it deserves. As I have already mentioned, Gilbert Jnr’s health is rapidly going downhill – his twitching is now becoming highly disturbing – so I cannot put up with any more prevarication or delays from your end. Unless you can give me such an assurance, I will be forced to move forward with Mr Abacha instead.

Incidentally, do you know Mr Abacha? You mentioned that I would find myself “in trouble” if I did business with him. Is the man not to be trusted? Please elaborate – I would hate to get involved in anything shady with a conman or a crook. I would appreciate your advice, my friend.

On another matter, I mentioned to you in my last email that I was engaged in a philosophical discussion on economics with Professor Dodd. As a fellow trained economist, I would value your opinion on this question: do you feel that logarithmically-rising demand-pull inflation in the typical neo post-consumerist economy leads eventually to a discumknockerated public sector (Professor Dodd’s view), or to a tattifilarious public sector (my own opinion)?

I look forward to hearing from you by return, with an assurance that you will treat this matter more urgently from now on, and with your opinion on my economics conundrum.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: This inaction simply will not do

Sent: Thu, 26 Feb 2023 13:58:38

Dear Dr Egbunike,

My dear doctor, I am afraid to say that this inaction simply will not do.

We are trying to conduct a business transaction here. I thought that you were a man of action. God only knows what you are doing with yourself, when you should be replying to my emails and moving this business forward.

I am giving you one last chance, Dr Egbunike, to prove that you are capable of handling this transaction. If I do not receive a positive response from you by tomorrow, I shall be forced to forget this whole business and move forward with Mr Abacha. You have been warned.

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Count on me

Sent: Thu, 26 Feb 2023 16:58:56 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

I am really very sorry for the delay in responding to your mail.

However, I am trying my best to ensure that everything works out in perfect order in accordance to the banking rules.

I have made a series of attempts to get in touch with you by phone but to no avail, because the number could not go through. So I want you to restate your direct and correct phone number.

I await your response to this mail. Once again I advise you to stay away from the Abacha family’s business.

Call me immediately you receive this mail on 234-1-776-7103.

Your friend,

Dr James Egbunike

Note: God heals, I believe God will take care of your son.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: Count on me

Sent: Thu, 26 Feb 2023 17:31:34

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am sorry that you have experienced difficulty in getting through to me on the telephone. The number I gave you is my home telephone number. However, there has been a series of winter storms in the area recently, and the telephone company has had difficulties in maintaining its service in the remote area in which I live. I am afraid that last night’s heavy snowfall has once again brought down some telephone lines. Please accept my sincere apology for this, but there is little I can do about it. Hopefully the telephone company will get its act together soon – at the moment the telephone only works intermittently and this is most inconvenient.

Until my telephone service is restored, I am hoping that we will be able to conduct the remainder of this business via email – my satellite link to the internet has not been affected, although I did have to brush some snow off the dish this morning before I could log on.

So, my dear fellow, where do we go from here? Please advise.

I must ask you to be more specific about your advice regarding Mr Abacha (who I am currently stalling). What is it you know about this chap that makes you warn me against doing business with him?

Also, I would very much appreciate it if you would give me the benefit of your professional opinion on Professor Dodd’s conundrum. I value your opinion, my dear friend. Please do not let me down.

I look forward to hearing from you, and to making progress with our business forthwith.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Another day gone, another day wasted

Sent: Fri, 27 Feb 2023 17:18:41

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Another day gone, another day wasted.

I was hoping to hear from you sometime today, with information on how we can move forward, but I have not heard a peep out of you.

What is the matter with you, my dear fellow? Here am I, champing at the bit and raring to go, while you sit at your desk, no doubt idly twiddling your thumbs and fiddling with your paper clips.

It is now three weeks since you first contacted me, and we seem to have made no progress whatsoever. I had hoped that we would have been able to complete our business in that time.

Let’s see some action out of you, for god’s sake! I haven’t come across such a display of torpidity since my Aunt Bessie died in her chair in the corner of the lounge and nobody noticed for four days.

Get back to me by Monday morning, or you can forget this whole business.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: It is action time

Sent: Sat, 28 Feb 2023 11:17:11 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

My friend, we are at the verge of concluding this business transaction.

My lawyer has already submitted the death certificate of the late customer (Mr Mark Joseph Dobson) to the bank (African International Bank PLC). The reason why this has taken much time is because the documentation is yet to be completed.

The affidavit which I have much money to acquire has not been released to us because we have an outstanding balance of $2,800.00 (two thousand eight hundred United States dollars) to make, and right now, I have about $1,300, so I urge you to assist in making the balance payment of $1,500.00 in order to facilitate the crediting of your bank account from the Chase Manhattan Bank, New York, by KTT.

As soon as this payment is done/made through the Western Union money transfer to the name of the lawyer stated below, and forward the control number to me after payment:

Name: David Obi

Address: Lagos, Nigeria

Amount: $1,500.00 (one thousand five hundred United States dollars)

Test question: Important

Test answer: Yes

This payment should be made before Tuesday, and as soon as this is done, you will be able to contact the Chase Manhattan Bank, New York, for your transfer release code.

I await your urgent response to this mail.

Your friend,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I am pleased to see some action at last

Sent: Sun, 29 Feb 2023 10:38:27

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am pleased that you have responded positively to my call to action. This is marvellous news.

However, you still have not answered any of my queries. I am sorry, but I must insist that you answer my queries before any money leaves my hands in this transaction. In case you have forgotten, here they are again:

One. Please explain why the money will be transferred into my account from a bank in New York, when you originally told me that the money was in a Nigerian bank account. This is most confusing.

Two. Please explain precisely why I should not continue my business with Mr Abacha. You obviously know something about the man, but have not yet told me yet. If the man is not to be trusted, I need to know why. To be honest, I am of a mind to move forward with both your business proposal and Mr Abacha’s. If there is a good reason why I should not do business with Mr Abacha, I expect you as a friend and colleague to tell me.

Three. You not given me the benefit of your professional opinion as a trained economist on Professor Dodd’s economics conundrum. Do you feel that logarithmically-rising demand-pull inflation in the typical neo post-consumerist economy leads eventually to a discumknockerated public sector (Professor Dodd’s view), or to a tattifilarious public sector (my own opinion)?

Send me an answer to these three questions by return, and we are in business my good fellow.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Reply immediately

Sent: Mon, 01 Mar 2023 00:27:22 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail.

It is necessary to wire this fund through a correspondent bank because we do not have a direct wire transfer link to Bartletts Bank PLC. So it is quite safer for this fund to come to your bank account through the Chase Manhattan Bank, New York.

With this arrangement, I am very confident that this fund will be confirmed by you in your bank account within 48 banking hours upon completion of the documents required which I will forward copies to you for reference purposes.

On the issue of Abacha’s family, I wouldn’t want you to involve yourself in any problem because the Federal Government of Nigeria are very interested in their case.

I will advise you not to doubt my integrity, for we are at the verge of concluding this transaction. And as soon as that is done, I will meet you up in England for the disbursement of our fund, whereby we can share views on our professions and other business matters.

I have made several attempts to reach you on phone, but all to no avail, you can ring me on 234-1-7767103. Remember, we must have to conclude this business this week. So I urge you to go ahead and send the money today, being Monday, 1st of March, 2004. So that the documentation will be concluded within the next 24 hours so that we can have a joyful week.

I am counting on you, I have believed you, and I know you will keep to your word as not touching the money until I arrive, immediately the fund $24,200,000.00 has been credited into your bank account.

I am looking forward to hearing good news from you to enable the lawyer proceed for the affidavit of claim from the Federal High Court of Nigeria on your behalf today.

Your friend,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: A slight problem

Sent: Mon, 01 Mar 2023 09:49:02

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your most illuminating email. I am shocked to hear that Mr Abacha and his family are being investigated by the Nigerian government. I find it hard to believe that the man is a criminal: he sounds so genuine on the telephone. Tell me, what is he being investigated for? Is it anything serious? I wouldn’t want to become involved with a criminal, as I’m sure you can appreciate. By the sound of it, by warning me away from Mr Abacha, you may have prevented me from becoming involved in dubious criminal activities, for which I am most grateful to you.

By the way, my dear fellow, you mentioned doubting your integrity. If anything I have said has made you think that I doubt you, please accept my most sincere apologies: that is not the case. Please be assured, I trust you implicitly.

Unfortunately, my dear fellow, there is a slight problem. You have asked me to transfer $1,500.00 to ensure the successful conclusion of this transaction. Unfortunately, I do not have this kind of money lying about. All of our savings went into the fund to enable poor little Gilbert Jnr to travel to America for treatment at Dr Phibes’ clinic. I suppose that if there was no other way around the problem, I could always withdraw the money from that fund temporarily, but before I did that, I would need your absolute assurance that I would be able to replace the money within a matter of days: I am sure that my wife would not approve of using the money that is specifically meant for Gilbert Jnr’s treatment. If she discovered that any money was missing from the account, she would not be happy at all.

Is there no way you can cover this final cost yourself? Please let me know – if you could, it would save me a lot of worry and hassle.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: URGENT

Sent: Mon, 01 Mar 2023 23:49:49 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

I thank you one more time for your mail.

I want you to be rest assured that everything is under control, so be rest assured that immediately this payment is made, we shall have our fund released into your bank account.

I await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: URGENT

Sent: Tue, 02 Mar 2023 06:56:53

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your reassurance. I shall travel into town this morning, withdraw the money required from Gilbert Jnr’s savings account, and make the payment via Western Union.

I will contact you when I return from town with the details you require to access the money.

I hope to god that you are right, my dear friend, and that the money will be transferred into my bank account speedily. If Elizabeth finds out that I have used any of the money we have raised for Gilbert Jnr’s treatment, she will hit the roof. Gilbert Jnr’s future health and welfare depends on this money.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I have made the payment

Sent: Tue, 02 Mar 2023 11:31:48

Dear Dr Egbunike,

You will be pleased to hear that I have made the payment you requested, via Western Union. I have to say, I have never made a payment by this method before, and I was pleasantly surprised to see how easy it was. The Western Union agent at my local bureau de change was most helpful and she processed the payment very efficiently, despite the computer network problems she said they were experiencing this morning.

You requested a payment for $1,500. As I made the payment from the United Kingdom, the agent converted this amount, using today’s exchange rates, to £804.69.

Please let me know as soon as Mr Obi has collected the money I transferred. And please, Dr Egbunike, I would appreciate it if you could do all you can to conclude this transaction as fast as possible: Elizabeth must not find out that I have withdrawn any money from Gilbert Jnr’s treatment fund.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Tue, 02 Mar 2023 13:12:06 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail.

Please kindly forward to me the payment informations/details (sender & receiver’s name, test question and answer, amount, control number and address), or you can easily scan the payment slip and forward it to me.

I await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: The details you requested

Sent: Tue, 02 Mar 2023 13:46:28

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Please accept my apologies, my dear fellow. I completely forgot to send you the control number. It is 3752969588. You know the other information already: you have my name and address, I told you the amount (in Pounds Sterling) in my last email, and you yourself gave me the receiver’s name and the test question and answer I should use.

I would rather avoid having to scan in the payment slip that the Western Union agent gave me, if at all possible: my scanner keeps on crashing my computer when I try to use it. I think a new computer system will be in order when this money is transferred to my bank account.

Please let me know as soon as Mr Obi has collected the money. I am keen to complete this transaction as soon as possible: Gilbert Jnr’s fits are getting harder and harder to cope with.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: When can I expect the money to be transferred into my account?

Sent: Tue, 02 Mar 2023 17:20:32

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Has Mr Obi collected the money that I transferred via Western Union earlier today?

Assuming that he has, when can I expect the $24,200,000.00 to be credited into my bank account? How quickly do these things happen? Should I check my bank account tomorrow morning, or wait until the afternoon?

Please let me know what is going on, my dear fellow.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Respond immediately

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 06:57:01

Dear Dr Egbunike,

What is going on at your end? Please do not keep me in the dark, my dear fellow. You know how important this transaction is to me: I must know what is happening.

I expect a progress update from you by return.

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Very Urgent

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 12:59:03 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

How are you today my friend?

My lawyer just informed me that David Obi have not been able to collect the money, which means the money was not there. Can you quickly reconfirm from your local Western Union agent if the money was sent or not and fax a copy of the Western Union slip to the fax number 234-1-401138, or it should be scanned to my email immediately.

We should be concluding on this transaction tomorrow, being Thursday 4th.

Expecting your immediate response.

Your friend,

Dr James

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: REPLY IMMEDIATELY

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 13:37:54 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

What happened? I am still waiting for your mail.

Dr James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Western Union problems

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 13:49:52

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I was disturbed to hear that Mr Obi has not been able to collect the money I transferred to him.

I have done as you suggested, and contacted my local Western Union agent to find out if there was a problem. The agent told me that Western Union have indeed been having some problems with their computer network in the UK for the past couple of days. Apparently their main network routing centre in Peterborough was struck by lightning in a recent storm, and it has affected their network. I think I mentioned yesterday that the agent was experiencing some difficulty when she transferred my money. The agent told me that my transfer had got “stuck” in the system.

The agent immediately contacted the Western Union network routing centre, and assured me that the problem has now been sorted out, so Mr Obi should now be able to collect the money from his local agent.

Please accept my apologies for this problem, Dr Egbunike. However, as I am sure you can appreciate, the problem has been caused by Western Union, not by me.

Please let me know as soon as Mr Obi has collected the money.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Has this Obi fellow collected the money yet?

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 17:33:41

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I was hoping that you would have emailed me this afternoon with good news, and with details of when the $24,200,000.00 will be credited to my bank account. However, hours have gone by and I have heard nothing from you. I checked with the bank earlier on the internet, but nothing at all has been transferred into my bank account.

Kindly respond immediately and let me know what is going on, my friend.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Note

Sent: Wed, 03 Mar 2023 23:12:34 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

The money will be picked up in the morning, because the information came late.

I will keep you informed on the activities tomorrow.

Your friend,

Dr James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: Note

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 07:00:24

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Once again, I apologise for the delays that Western Union’s technical problems are causing.

I look forward to hearing good news from you later this morning. Please email me as soon as the money has been collected.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 11:46:42 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail. I want to let you know that the problem still remains unsolved.

Please, I urge you to go to the Western Union agent in your area and recall the initial payment and resend this money and get another control number.

Please, this should be done in the next two (2) hours, and forward the control number to me immediately.

I await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: This is extremely annoying

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 12:17:12

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am getting very irritated by these delays. Are you sure this Obi fellow knows what he’s doing?

As it happens, I am just about to drive into town to have lunch with Professor Dodd. We are going to an excellent little café in town, “Dickie Mint’s”, that he highly recommends. Apparently it serves delicious jam butties.

While I am in town, I will do as you suggest, and pop into the Western Union agent to find out what the problem is. I will get back to you as soon as I return to work this afternoon.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I have made a new Western Union money transfer

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 13:42:05

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I have just returned from town. Following an excellent lunch with Professor Dodd (who was right about Dickie Mint’s: their jam butties were marvellous), I popped into the Western Union agent while Professor Dodd was booking himself an appointment at the dentist: his front teeth protrude rather a lot and he wants to have them straightened.

I explained the situation to the Western Union agent. She checked their computer system, and found that yet again, there was a problem with the transfer. She suggested exactly the same as you: that I should cancel the transfer and make a new one. So that is precisely what I did.

The new control number you need is 3752969652. All the other details are the same.

The Western Union agent apologised profusely for any problems this may have caused. I couldn’t be too hard on her; she was most charming. She assured me that Mr Obi will now be able to collect the money without any problems. To be on the safe side, she also gave me a telephone number that your local Western Union agent should call if they still have problems with this transfer. This should not be necessary, but if your Western Union agent still encounters problems, please get them to call +44(0) 20 72311220 (this is a London number) and give full details of the money transfer, including Mr Obi’s name and address. They should then be able to sort everything out.

Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you. I trust that Mr Obi will be able to return to the Western Union office as soon as possible to collect the money. I am desperate to get things moving as soon as possible. Please contact me as soon as the money is in Mr Obi’s possession.

Dr Gilbert Murray

The telephone number given is that of the Fraud Squad in London.

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Very Urgent and Important

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 15:19:58 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail.

Dear fellow, this is very unusual. However this is causing much pain to me.

Mr Obi has not still been able to collect this money, so I want you to please try as much as you can to scan the payment slip and send it to me, or you can send all the payment informations to me now (details on how you made the payment).

Sender’s name
Receiver’s name
Correct control number
Amount (in Pounds or Dollars)
Address
Test question and answer

Please send all this informations to me now and it should be exactly how you used it in issuing the payment, if you have really made this payment.

We have to act fast now, you know time is not our friend at this point in time.

I await your urgent response.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Still waiting

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 15:34:14 +0000 (GMT)

Attn: Dr Gilbert Murray,

I am waiting.

Yours faithfully,

Dr James

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: NO MONEY AT WESTERN UNION

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 15:41:07 +0000 (GMT)

ATTN: GILBERT,

PLEASE, IF YOU ARE SURE YOU SENT THIS MONEY, PLEASE, KINDLY FORWARD THE WESTERN UNION SLIP TO US, TO ENABLE US TRACK THIS MONEY AND MOVE FORWARD. BUT IF NOT THAT MEANS YOU HAVE NEVER SENT ANY MONEY.

LET ME KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING IMMEDIATELY.

JAMES

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I do not like your tone

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 16:13:47

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I am in receipt of your increasingly rude emails. To be frank, I do not like your tone. What do you mean by “if you have really made this payment” and “you have never sent any money”? How dare you doubt my word, Dr Egbunike? The word of a fellow economist?

I am as concerned as you are by these delays. I can only assume that they are either a result of Western Union’s continuing technical problems, or of Mr Obi’s incompetence.

After struggling with my computer and scanner, and following a number of crashes – hence my delay in responding to you – I have finally managed to scan in the Western Union slip. I have attached it to this email. I trust that this proves to you that I am indeed a man of my word, and that I have indeed made this payment.

Has Mr Obi asked his Western Union agent to call the number I gave you? I can only assume that he has not. If he had done this, he would have received the money by now. I suggest that you accompany Mr Obi to the Western Union agent yourself this time, Dr Egbunike, so that you can ensure that the man gets the agent to call the number and resolve the problem.

I also suggest that you apologise to me immediately for your hectoring, insulting tone, and for doubting my word. I expect to receive your apology by return.

Dr Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Where is the apology you owe me?

Sent: Thu, 04 Mar 2023 17:33:12

Dr Egbunike,

I am still waiting for the apology you owe me, for blaming Western Union’s technical problems on me, and for doubting my word.

This is no way to treat a business partner.

You have impugned my honour and integrity. I expect an apology by return.

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: What is going on?

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 07:02:12

Dr Egbunike,

What is going on at your end? First I get a flurry of increasingly rude and insolent emails from you, and then nothing at all.

This silence simply will not do. We are supposed to be business partners, and an important part of being business partners is keeping each other in touch with what is going on.

Has this Obi fellow collected the money from the Western Union agent yet?

If I do not hear from you by lunchtime, I am severely tempted to travel into town, cancel the Western Union transfer I made, and move forward with Mr Abacha instead of you. Whatever you may say about him, he seems a damn sight more reliable than you are.

Get back to me at once, for god’s sake.

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: What is going on?

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 13:20:46 +0000 (GMT)

Dear Gilbert,

Mr Obi has tried his best to pick up the cash from Western Union, but there was no match found with the money control number (MNCT) you send.

So what is happening at your end as there is no money here?

He has visited several agents. The story is same.

So go and find out what is the problem and get back to me.

James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: This is exasperating

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 13:59:34

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email, and for your update on the situation.

This is infuriating. Has Mr Obi asked his Western Union agent to call the number that my Western Union agent gave me? I was assured that if there were any problems, calling this number would sort them out.

I have just contacted my Western Union agent and explained the continuing problem to them, and they have insisted that there is no problem at this end. They repeated the advice that your Western Union agent should call the number they gave me.

I would suggest that you accompany Mr Obi to the Western Union agent and insist that they telephone this number to resolve the issue. If the Western Union agent is reluctant to do this, I suggest you call the number yourself while at the agent’s. This is the only way I can see at the moment to resolve the situation - having made two separate Western Union transfers, there is little more I can do from this end.

Please, Dr Egbunike, try to resolve this issue with Mr Obi at the Western Union agent as soon as you possibly can, and get back to me as soon as things are sorted out.

I expect to hear from you shortly.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: See the result from Western Union

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 14:15:02 +0000 (GMT)

Dear Gilbert,

“W0131 We do not have an order with the provided information. Please verify your information and click Check Status.”

The above picture is what they shown us at the Western Union agent. The underlined sentence is still saying the same thing.

Please respond quickly.

James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Call the number I gave you

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 14:38:21

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I have to say, I did not understand the gobbledegook that made up a large part of it. Where on earth did you get that garbage from?

I suggest that you do what I suggested in my previous email: accompany Mr Obi to the Western Union agent and either get them to call the number I gave you, or call it yourselves in their presence. The number, in case you have lost it, is +44(0) 20 72311220. This will apparently get you through to Western Union’s technical troubleshooting department, who will be able to sort out the problem at your end.

I repeat, I have contacted my Western Union agent, and there is no problem at my end. The money transfer shows up on their system as it should.

Get your Western Union agent to call the number, Dr Egbunike. Then get back to me.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Withdraw and resend

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 15:04:22 +0000 (GMT)

My dear friend,

I am getting worried from this development. I was now at the agent with Mr David Obi together with the lawyer. After due checking and verification in our presence, still the money could not be found.

We have tried calling the number, but calling this number there is nothing we can achieve.

My friend, please go and withdraw your fund, visit another agent and effect this Western Union payment using the same information, perhaps the “charming lady” could not effectively operate the system.

Remember the urgency required, hence we must get this money today to enable us move ahead.

I await a new control number.

James

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I will do as you suggest

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 15:31:09

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email. I am devastated to hear that you and Mr Obi have been unable to collect the money, despite repeated visits to Western Union agents. This is proving to be a serious waste of your time, and no doubt a major irritation.

I think that your suggestion, that I cancel the Western Union payment and make a new payment, is a good one. Unfortunately, I will not be able to travel into town to do this until Monday morning. I realise that this delays our business even further, and I apologise for this, but I am afraid there is nothing I can do about it; I cannot get into town any earlier than that.

I shall travel into town first thing on Monday morning – I am driving Professor Dodd to the dentist where he is booked in to get his front teeth straightened – and effect a new transfer. I will get back to you as soon as I have done so with the details you require. This should be late morning on Monday.

Please accept my sincere apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you and Mr Obi, my dear friend. Believe me, I am finding the current situation as irritating as you are.

However, I am sure that we will be able to bring this situation to a satisfactory conclusion early next week.

Wishing you a pleasant weekend.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PLEASE TRY AND DO IT EARLY

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 17:16:35 +0000 (GMT)

DEAR FRIEND,

PLEASE, DO YOUR BEST AS EARLY AS YOU CAN ON MONDAY, FOR TIME IS NO LONGER ON OUR SIDE.

HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND.

YOUR FRIEND,

JAMES

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: PLEASE TRY AND DO IT EARLY

Sent: Fri, 05 Mar 2023 17:31:23

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I assure you that I will make the new transaction early on Monday morning. Professor Dodd’s dentist’s appointment is at 10 o’clock, so I shall head straight to the Western Union agent as soon as he is in the dentist’s chair.

Wishing you a pleasant weekend, my friend.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Dr James Egbunike

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: You just have to do it

Sent: Sun, 07 Mar 2023 22:44:15 +0000 (GMT)

Dear Gilbert Murray,

Thank you for your mail.

How are you doing? How is your son’s (Gilbert Jnr) health?

Please be informed that we must have to conclude this transaction this week, and I want you to understand that I have spent money to bring this transaction to this level.

And as a partner in this transaction, I expected that it would be a thing of joy for you to ensure that the affidavit and other necessary papers of proof are acquired on your behalf to enable the swift transfer of this fund into your bank account.

I also want to inform you that I have already applied for an entry visa to London, and I will be most grateful to God to see your son Gilbert Jnr undertake his medical trip abroad without any financial stress.

However, Mr Obi is out of Lagos for Abuja, the Federal Capital Territory of Nigeria. So you are advised to make the payment in the name of Mr Felix Eseka, address: Lagos, Nigeria.

Let us avoid the reoccurrence of what happened last week. If you have any problem with the Western Union money transfer, you could use the American Express (MoneyGram).

I would like you to know that my lawyer is presently in doubt of your capability in handling the business of this magnitude after all the incident of last week, but I assure him that all is going to be well this week.

I also read in an advertisement this morning, which some properties are for sale in London, which I am very much interested in as soon as we conclude this transaction.

I await your urgent and swift response.

Thanks.

Yours truly,

Dr James Egbunike

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Re: You just have to do it

Sent: Mon, 08 Mar 2023 07:34:27

Dear Dr Egbunike,

Thank you for your email, and for your kind words about Gilbert Jnr’s health. Unfortunately, the poor dear is deteriorating faster and faster, and he is a constant concern to me.

I am as keen as you are to conclude this transaction: both for Gilbert Jnr’s health, and to ensure that Elizabeth does not find out that I have withdrawn money from the account meant for his treatment.

I am travelling into town soon with Professor Dodd. I will cancel the original payment and make a new payment, in Mr Eseka’s name, at a different Western Union agent. I will contact you as soon as I return from town, and scan in the payment slip to enable Mr Eseka to collect the money.

You say that your lawyer is presently in doubt of my capability in handling business of this magnitude? Kindly tell your insolent lawyer that to blame Western Union’s technical problems on me is not fair. Then kindly tell him from me that he can go and boil his head: I am not here to be insulted by some legal lickspittle.

I will email you as soon as Professor Dodd and I are back from town, with the good news you are waiting for.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

PS. Who is this “Felix Eseka”, by the way? I’ve not heard of him before. Whoever he is, I hope he’s got a few more brain cells at his disposal than Mr Obi seemed to have. That man was useless.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: I have made a new Western Union transfer

Sent: Mon, 08 Mar 2023 11:04:31

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I have just returned from town, having made a new Western Union transfer. Having dropped Professor Dodd off at the dentist, I made my way directly to the Western Union agent at which I made the two transfers last week. I explained the situation to the lady behind the desk, and she refunded my money without any problems.

I then made my way to another bureau de change which acts as a Western Union agent, and made a new transfer. As you will see from the enclosed payment slip (which I managed to scan in without my computer crashing once!), the payment is for exactly the same amount, but is made out to Mr Felix Eseka, as you requested. The test question and answer are the same as before, and the new control number is printed on the slip.

I hope that Mr Eseka, whoever he is, makes a better job of this than Mr Obi did last week. To be perfectly honest with you, I am growing tired of these seemingly endless delays.

You will be pleased to hear that Professor Dodd’s appointment at the dentist went well. Although he will need several more appointments to straighten his front teeth completely, the initial surgery was successful. However, the dentist gave Professor Dodd gas to render him unconscious, and when he came round, the gas seemed to have had the strangest effect on him: the professor was delirious and extremely confused when I picked him up from the surgery. On the way back to the car, we passed a shop that had a display of multi-coloured feather dusters in the window. Professor Dodd insisted on purchasing one, and spent the entire journey back to the University prodding me with it from the back seat of my car, laughing loudly and calling it his “tickling stick”. It was most annoying, and I found it extremely difficult to concentrate on my driving. The effects of the gas are still apparent: I can hear him now, running up and down the corridor outside my office, tickling anyone who comes near with his feather duster and shouting “How tickled I am!”.

I can only hope that the effects of the gas will wear off soon. His behaviour is most unbecoming for a member of the department.

Well, Dr Egbunike, please inform me as soon as Mr Eseka has collected the money from the Western Union agent. I am praying that there are no slip-ups this time.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: Has Mr Eseka collected the money yet?

Sent: Mon, 08 Mar 2023 15:04:09

Dear Dr Egbunike,

I emailed you details of the new Western Union transfer I have made almost four hours ago, but have heard nothing back from you yet. Has Mr Eseka collected the money yet?

I have complained about your lack of communication on a number of occasions already. I am sorry to have to do so again. Dr Egbunike, you simply MUST keep me informed as to what is going on. These long silences of yours just will not do. Business is all about communication.

I hope that Eseka has collected the money, and that you have now set the wheels in motion for the transfer of the $24,200,000.00 to my bank account. Things are now extremely urgent: Elizabeth has told me that she is going to go through our accounts in the next couple of days, as she does once a month. If she discovers that I have withdrawn money from Gilbert Jnr’s fund, she will be livid.

I must have answers from you, Dr Egbunike, and quickly. Kindly respond to me immediately and tell me what is going on.

Best regards,

Dr Gilbert Murray

PS. You mentioned in your previous email that you were looking at property in London. I happen to know of some rather exclusive accommodation in London that I think would suit you perfectly. There are three locations to choose from: Belmarsh, Brixton and Pentonville. All three complexes benefit from a wide range of facilities, and the security is second-to-none. Do let me know if you would like me to send you more information. I would be happy to pull a few strings and do my best to ensure that you could take up residence as soon as possible.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: What on earth is going on?

Sent: Mon, 08 Mar 2023 16:39:41

Dr Egbunike,

What on earth is going on at your end? Has this Eseka fellow collected the money or not? I must know what is going on.

I am fed up to the back teeth of the prevarication and delays that have plagued this business right from the start. I have consistently done everything within my power to ensure that this transaction was completed as quickly and as smoothly as possible. Yet I have been met with nothing but delays, obstacles and obfuscation from your end.

Well, Dr Egbunike, I have had enough. You have pushed me too far. As I told you in my last email, things have now reached a critical point here. If I do not hear from you by return, I will travel into town tomorrow morning, cancel my latest Western Union money transfer, and move forward with Mr Abacha.

Get back to me at once, or you can forget this whole business.

Dr Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Dr James Egbunike

Subject: You have been wasting my time

Sent: Tue, 09 Mar 2023 11:23:42

Dr Egbunike,

As I warned you yesterday, I have had enough of your endless delays and lack of communication. It has become painfully clear from your woeful performance over the past few weeks that you obviously have no idea at all how to conduct a business transaction, and that you have been wasting my time. I have therefore placed my trust in Mr Abacha, who presents himself in a much more professional light than you have ever done.

You warned me against doing business with Mr Abacha. However, Mr Abacha has convinced me that everything you have said about him is a malicious lie. In fact, Mr Abacha had some rather interesting things to say about you: he told me that you were not actually a doctor of economics, but that you were in fact a dim-witted conman, a disgrace to your family and to your country, who makes a living from defrauding decent, honest people. That would explain a lot of things: why you were not able to offer an opinion on Professor Dodd’s economics query, for example.

It seems that I have been fortunate that you have been too much of a dolt to collect the money that I transferred to you.

I travelled into town first thing this morning and cancelled the Western Union transfer I made yesterday. I then made a new Western Union transfer, for £5,000, to Mr Abacha. It is interesting to note that Mr Abacha was able to collect the money I transferred to him without any problems whatsoever: unlike you, he did not make a complete farce of the whole business. I am confident that my business with Mr Abacha will be completed in no time at all, and that Gilbert Jnr will soon be able to travel over to America for the treatment he needs at Dr Phibes’ clinic – no thanks to you.

I imagine you are feeling quite discumknockerated now, after all those unsuccessful visits to your local Western Union agents. I would like to conclude by saying that it has been tattifilarious doing business with you.

Dr Gilbert Murray