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The Poultry Magnate

In which Gilbert attempts to help the Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria to defraud his own bank, while asking for his advice on a range of extremely bizarre new chicken-based products.

Cast of characters

• Gilbert Murray – Managing Director of Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd.
• Rhondda Valley – Gilbert’s ever-accommodating PA.
• Chief Joseph Sanusi – allegedly Governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
• Francis Morra – allegedly Manager of the Madrid branch of an international security company.

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Partnership business

Sent: Wed, 27 Aug 2023 12:33:41

My dear friend,

Good day to you. I know very well that this letter is coming to you full of surprises as we don’t have any previous acquaintance. First of all, let me introduce myself to you. I am Chief Joseph Sanusi, the present Governor to the Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN). I got your email address on the internet in a desperate search for a business partner that I decided to contact you and I want to assure you that I have not sent this message to any other person. Please note that this letter does not mean to cause any embarrassment in whatever form to your esteemed self.

My objective is to have you as my business partner overseas, and I want to do business with your esteemed self/company. I will use my good office to get a huge sum to be invested with you pending my time of vacation from the position in the CBN, then I will come over for reimbursement.

As long as I remain in the position, your interest will always be protected, in the same way I want you to protect my interest by keeping this letter secret. Note again, I said I want you to be my friend and business partner, I will use your name and account to remit huge amounts of money abroad. We are not allowed to have foreign accounts as civil servants, thus the reason I want to use yours.

Contact me through the following contacts below:

E-mail: josanusicbn@hotmail.com or josanusicbn@avu.org

Tel/fax: 234-1-7593670

I will also like to have your full contacts, your sincerity is the prime factor to the success of this relationship. Please introduce yourself in full.

Thanking you for your kind attention and looking forward to your urgent reply.

Yours, his excellency,

Chief Joseph Sanusi (Governor)

Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: In response to your email

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2023 10:56:55

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am writing in response to the most interesting email that you sent to me in August. I must apologise for my tardiness in responding, but my computer has been playing up recently and I have only just managed to get it fixed and access my emails. It has taken me days to work through them all. Yours certainly captured my attention – it sounds like an intriguing proposition.

I do not know how you obtained my personal email address – my company does not have a ‘web presence’ as yet, although this is something we are actively working on. Perhaps you read my interview in the July issue of Poultry Processing Monthly, although I have to admit that I did not realise the magazine had such a wide ranging readership.

If it is not too late – I realise that you may already have found another partner for this venture, given the lateness of my response – I would be honoured to help you out here and become your business partner.

To give you a brief introduction to myself, I am the founder, sole owner and Managing Director of Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd, the largest and most profitable poultry processing company in the East of England. We provide top quality poultry products to a number of high-profile clients, including Sainsway’s, Martins and Spender, and Wainrose. Building up this company has been my life’s work, and my effort has been amply rewarded with the excellent standard of living that I now enjoy.

We are currently considering whether to expand the factory to incorporate a new pheasant plucking facility, which would enable us to move into new marketplaces. The proceeds of the transaction you outline could go a long way towards funding this proposed development.

Please email me back with further details. You mention “a huge sum”. I would be most interested to know more.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: In response to your email

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2023 16:15:52 +0000

My dear Mr Gilbert Murray,

I must thank you for responding and having interest to work with me. I am very glad to read from you.

Honestly, I have not contacted anybody, I was still having that feeling that you will respond to my request. Besides, you know my position and personality, it cannot be easy for me to be contacting anybody and I cannot bend too low. I have not and I am very happy to read from you. You are highly welcomed my dear friend.

Meanwhile, I want to go straight to business as we must do something, that is the basic and the root of our relationship, “business”, as in quote. But one important thing again is trust and reliability. We can achieve whatever we want. For me not to waste your time, I must open up.

You see, I have $45 million with a security company deposited in Europe (one of your neighbouring countries). This money is legal, which I made through crude oil allocation and compensation, but because it is prohibited for us not to own such amounts here and not to have foreign accounts as civil servants, I secretly moved the funds to Europe via diplomatic means as a diplomatic cargo during one of my official visits to Europe last year. Since then the funds have been idle, accruing demurrages. I deem it very fit to introduce you to the security company and instruct them to release the cargo to you, that is to start with. Thereafter, I shall introduce more huge funds to you from the CBN. What do you think? Please just feel very free to let me know to enable me to move forward and prepare a letter of authorisation to the security company for them to contact you for release.

If everything goes well, you shall have 30% of the total sum and subsequent amounts that I shall push forward to you, and my lawyer shall prepare an agreement that will bind us together.

When replying, please include your address, telephone and fax numbers which I shall use to prepare the authorisation letter.

Thanking you, and awaiting your prompt response. I hope you have rectified finally the problem with your computer, if not please find an alternative as we must do something to move forward.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

His excellency,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am keen to move forward

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2023 17:35:02

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email, and for the extra information you have provided me with. I am most certainly interested in moving forward with this matter. I have always counted myself as an excellent judge of character, and I believe that I can tell by the way you write that you are a man of his word, and someone to be trusted.

I have a number of suitable bank accounts that we can use in this venture. My bankers, Bartletts of Lincoln, is a small and well-established bank that prides itself on service and, most importantly, discretion. I am sure you will agree that this is of prime importance in this matter.

I have indeed got my computer fixed, so you have no need to worry about that.

You asked for my personal details. Here they are:

Full name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Company name: Gilbert Murray Poultry Ltd

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Telephone: 01927 58367

I must apologise, but I do not have access to a fax machine. I do not trust them, and prefer to email documents to people as attachments. I trust that this will not be a problem.

I trust that this is all the information you need from me in order for us to move forward.

I look forward to hearing more from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am keen to move forward

Sent: Thu, 02 Oct 2023 17:30:57 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received now your most impressive response. Only God knows right now how elated I feel, please keep to your words, don’t listen to what people may tell you or what you may hear about Nigerians. We are very good people. Only when you come closer to near us you will see and give judgement by yourself. Just very few people have given Nigerians that bad name and impression. I personally describe this ugly situation as misrepresentation and misinterpretation. Only God knows, and will reward every man according to his deeds. I will trust you, respect you, and will not let you down all through our relationship. In return I will appreciate you to do the same. My word is my bond to you.

I will not waste time to do as my previous mail indicated, I will send the letter to the security company in Spain tomorrow. Please do update me as soon as they contact you.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

His excellency,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

NB: Please make use of this number to call me for the meantime: 234-1-4814180. It is my house phone, don’t call me on the office lines as I may not know what to discuss with you as a lot of people will want hear about my privacy. Please, I beg for your understanding here. If you call my house phone in the day time, my wife or children will attend to you as they are reasonable children and they will deliver your message to me. I will provide an additional confidential mobile line in due time.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: My movements next week

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 08:48:37

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I am most pleased that things are moving on apace. You seem to be a man of action. I heartily approve. I look forward to hearing from the Spanish security company. Let us just hope that their frequent siestas and Spanish practices do not hinder us in our business – I have not been impressed with the Spaniards I have dealt with before.

Now then, I must keep you informed of my movements over the next two weeks. Unfortunately I will be unavailable from Tuesday 7 October until Wednesday 15 October. I realise that this is bad timing, but due to prior commitments, it is unfortunately unavoidable. I am travelling over to New York to attend the International Poultry Product Convention.

This convention is most important to my business, as we will be showcasing our latest innovative product lines: chicken-based desserts and chicken-based soft drinks. These may sound strange to you initially, but I don’t know whether you are aware that there is rather a glut of poultry on the market at the moment, so we are seeking to diversity our product lines by introducing processed chicken into a wider range of foodstuffs. Hopefully the American market will be impressed by our Chicken and Banana Pudding, our Chicken and Strawberry Crumble, and our Chicka-Cola drink (which comes in regular and diet versions). If we are lucky, we may be able to get one of the major American fast food chains to take on these products on a trial basis.

Due to my attendance at the convention, I will unfortunately not be able to deal with our business until my return on Wednesday 15 October. I must apologise for this. However, let me reassure you that I will apply myself with vigour to this business as soon as I am back.

By the way, I fully understand you not wanting me to contact you in the office. I would not want my secretary, Miss Marple, to overhear anything about this business either. As far as I am concerned, this business is strictly between you and I.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I notice that you sign off as “His excellency, Chief Sanusi”. Please excuse me, but my knowledge of the tribal system is extremely limited. Which tribe are you “Chief” of?

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Please keep in touch

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 09:49:49 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I thank you so much for your open letter today. I must assure you that on no circumstances will the Spaniards hinder this transaction. Rest assured, they will not hinder us, besides there are also blacks working in the company so if there should be any governmental problem to arise, they would have informed me. Meanwhile, I have just forwarded the letter to them just now, authorising them to establish communication with you for the release of the cargo. Please don’t hesitate to get me informed as soon as they contact you.

I understood that you will be travelling all the way to the United States for your poultry business. I wish you best of luck. However, you should try to keep in touch even when you are there.

I learnt also that you want to know my tribe, I am from the south side of the country, YOURUBA by tribe, and from Ondo State. I would want us to exchange our international passports, that will also explain where we are from. Please attach the first two pages of your international passport when responding and I will do the same.

However, I noted that you would want me also to keep this transaction very confidential and secret. Nobody in your office will know about it, rest assured, anytime I call and you are not there, I will only tell them to inform you that I called. I will prefer to call only your mobile phone, please provide the number as well.

I feel it could be possible for us to conclude this first transaction before your trip to the States to enable us commence the second transaction. I want to save more money for life and children as I am planning my retirement as we enter next year. I hope you understand.

So far, I am grateful with the way you are handing things. Please keep in touch.

My warmest regards to you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I would appreciate your advice

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 12:05:55

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. Although like you, I am keen to move forward with our first transaction as soon as possible, I am afraid that the preparations for my trip to America will take up most of my time between now and my flight on Tuesday. I am leaving the office this afternoon and making my way to a country house hotel with my Marketing, Sales and R&D; teams. We are spending the whole weekend in a series of meetings in preparation for the convention, to ensure that we are fully-briefed. This convention is one of the most important events in the poultry processing industry year, and could be financially very rewarding for us – we have been trying to break into the American market for some time now. Again, I apologise for the inconvenience, but this is unavoidable.

Please do not think that I am disregarding my business with you. I want to assure you that our transaction is of the utmost importance to me, and as I said in my previous email, I will deal with it as my first priority when I return from New York. On the subject of the conference, I will do my best to keep in touch with you while I am there, but I expect to be extremely busy, so please forgive me if you do not hear much from me until I return.

You asked me for my mobile telephone number. I do not have a mobile telephone. I have taken note of the health scares that were in the press recently, and as I believe that they pose a serious danger to one’s health, I refuse to carry or use one – I have no wish for my brain to be irradiated. I hope this will not prove to be a problem.

As for my passport, Miss Valley, my PA, takes care of things like this for me. I would imagine she has my passport together with the rest of my travel documents somewhere safe. I will ask Rhondda to send you a copy as you requested.

Thank you for the information on your tribe. Are you head of the entire tribe? As I say, I know very little about the African tribal system, but I find it all fascinating. I suppose it could be compared to the English class system.

Tell me, should I address you as “Your Excellency”, or is it just other members of your tribe who are required to do that? I have no wish to offend you by addressing you incorrectly. Please accept my apologies if I have caused any offence in this way already.

Being Chief of your tribe, I imagine you must be a man of refined tastes. This being the case, I would very much appreciate your advice on something before I travel to my offsite meeting this afternoon.

Please view the attached file. It is a rough mock-up that has been produced by our Marketing Department showing the kind of design they propose to use on our new Chicka-Cola soft drink cans. As you will see, they are proposing that we go with a cartoon-like logo and an amusing strapline. Martha Tydfil, my Marketing Manager, assures me that this sort of thing will appeal to the younger generation, but I have to admit that I am not entirely convinced – in particular, I am worried that the strapline might be a bit too joky. I am afraid that the irony might go straight over peoples’ heads, and that it might actually put people off trying the drink. I would appreciate your thoughts.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: CONSIGNMENT NOTIFICATION

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 15:24:39 +0200 (CEST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Arnold Murray,

Following instructions received from Chief Joseph Sanusi, a depositor of a consignment in our security vault, to contact you as the beneficiary of his deposited consignment, we have made several attempts to reach you on the telephone number 0044 192758367 without success.

Sir, you are by this notification requested to contact us regarding taking delivery of this consignment and to confirm to us the date of your arrival to take delivery. Please note that this consignment has accumulated demorrage (sic) since it was deposited and to stop further accumulation, you need to confirm to us the possible date of taking delivery so that we can stop counting of the demorrage.

There are certain requirements which we will be needing from you before you can take delivery:

1. A certificate of deposit from the depositor.
2. A letter of authorisation from the depositor authorising us to release the consignment to you as the beneficiary.
3. The sum of 17,650.70 Euros, which covers our handling fees, insurance and accumulated demorrage charges.
4. Your international passport for identification as the rightful beneficiary.

There is need to contact us to inform us the possible date of your arrival to enable us book an appointment for you.

Regards,

Francis Morra (PRO)

GLOBAL NETWORK SECURITY, AFFILIATED TO PAN AFRICAN TRUST SECURITY, MADRID, SPAIN.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Re: CONSIGNMENT NOTIFICATION

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 15:11:37

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. Unfortunately, you have been unable to get through to me as you have been dialling my home telephone number, and I have been in the office all day. For reasons of security and secrecy, I am afraid that I cannot give out my office telephone number. I am sorry if this was not explained to you.

You asked for a date on which I will be available to fly to Madrid and collect the consignment from your offices. I assume that Chief Sanusi has informed you that I am unavailable from now until Wednesday 15 October, due to prior business commitments. My PA, Miss Rhondda Valley, has consulted my diary and suggests that a suitable date for me to fly to Madrid would be Wednesday 22 October. Does this suit you? I am assuming that we will be able to conclude our business within a matter of hours on the day.

Before we go any further, I have a number of queries which I am sure you will be able to help me out with:

• What is “demorrage”? This is not a phrase I have come across before. Miss Valley has had no success looking up the word in the Oxford English Dictionary either. Please explain.
• Please provide me with a detailed breakdown of the 17,650.70 Euros fee to which you refer. I am a canny businessman, and no businessman worth his salt would ever pay a fee like that without seeing exactly how the final figure has been arrived at.
• How is it best to pay the fee? I assume that cash on the day will be acceptable to you? As I will be travelling abroad, I will of course have my passport with me on the day. Or rather Miss Valley will have it in her attache case.

I will contact Chief Sanusi immediately and ask him to forward you the certificate of deposit and the letter of authorisation that you require from him.

Please note that I will not be contactable in any way from now until Wednesday 15 October as I am away on a business trip. I will read and respond to any emails you send to me between now and then on 15 October, but I will not be able to respond to them before that date.

Assuming that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to you, I have asked Miss Valley to pencil it into my diary. We can arrange a precise time nearer the date. You will also have to inform me of the location of your office, of course.

I look forward to your prompt response with an answer to my queries, and I look forward to working with you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: The security company has contacted me

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 15:13:49

Dear Chief Sanusi,

You will be pleased to hear that I have received an email from a Mr Morra, from the security company. I responded to him immediately, suggesting that Wednesday 22 October would be a suitable date for me to travel to Madrid and arrange matters. Unfortunately, that is the first date in my hectic diary that I can make available.

I have send Mr Morra a few small queries, which I am sure he will be able to deal with. While we are on this matter, Mr Morra informed me that he requires two things from you: a certificate of deposit and a letter of authorisation. I told Mr Morra that I would ask you to forward those on to the security company if you had not already done so.

I trust this is all acceptable to you. I am sorry that I cannot move more quickly, this is a very busy time of year for us.

On another matter, I have received another email from Martha Tydfil, with her proposed marketing collateral for our new Chicken and Banana Pudding product. Once again, I am concerned that it is too joky. Ms Tydfil assures me that the wording of the strapline is “a deeply cool and ironic play on words”, and that it will appeal to “young, savvy consumers everywhere”, but once again I am not convinced. Am I just being too old-fashioned, or should I sack the woman? What do you think?

Ms Tydfil suggested that we call the cartoon chicken “Gilbert” in the advertising campaign. I suppose I should be flattered, but I’m not sure that I want the general public to associate my name with a cartoon of a cock.

Please send me your thoughts before I head off for my weekend meeting.

Wishing you a pleasant weekend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: That is good news from you

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 19:57:13 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks both your mails today, the contents noted very well. However, I am very glad to hear that the security company contacted you. Please be more friendlier with them to enable them assist you as soon as you get there. And I want you to avoid declaring or making them know that the cargo contained funds until you get there to avoid raising eyebrows. I just want you to secretly go there and take the funds, open a bank account there and lodge it in bits or partially, depending on the kind of account you shall open.

Like I told you, the funds were well packaged in a trunk box marked as a diplomatic cargo and received by the security company as a diplomatic cargo, and tagged valued documents. Please, I want you to maintain that secret/code until they release the cargo to you.

I hope what the security company asked you for is a copy of the certificate of deposit and a letter that shows that you are the right person to claim the cargo, because they can’t ask me to send them the certificate they issued to me and a letter of authorisation that I just sent them. I will send you the certificate of deposit tomorrow so that you can forward it to them.

Concerning your company and its products, you know I don’t know anything yet about it, so I cannot give judgement about the lady. She might looking for ways to improves sales and impress you. Please don’t sack her, rather give her your own ideas. I wish you the best of luck.

Meanwhile, I must tell you that I am disappointed on reading you asking questions again about “his excellency”. You are an English person, you are supposed to know where and why I am being honoured with that. Don’t you know where it should be used?

I am still looking forward to receive a copy of your passport, please do try as much as possible to send it to me before you leave, and I will send you mine immediately I receive yours. Get it from whoever is holding it, scan and send it via email by jpeg as an attachment file.

My thanks and warmest regards to you, your family and the entire staff of your esteemed company.

Looking forward to receive your response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I have broken my meeting to respond to you

Sent: Fri, 03 Oct 2023 23:18:20

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I have taken a short break from our off-site meeting, which started early this evening and is lasting well into the night, to respond to you.

Please do not be concerned about my dealings with the security company – I am welI-versed in the ins and outs of business protocol and I can assure you that I will be the soul of discretion when it comes to dealing with them. And please do not worry – I will not reveal what is contained within the consignment. Your secret is safe with me. However, I have to say that their email raised a number of queries that must be resolved before we can move forward – for example, they used a phrase I have not come across before. I am sure that they will be able to answer my questions.

The security company did indeed ask me for a copy of the certificate of deposit and a letter that shows that I am the right person to claim the consignment. I might have got slightly confused on the matter of who is supposed to send what to the security company – please forgive me, but I have not dealt with this kind of transaction before. If you forward on to me the certificate of deposit, rest assured that I will pass it onto the security company as soon as is likely.

You expressed surprise at my asking whether I should address you as “Your Excellency”. I cannot understand why. I know nothing about the African tribal system, and simply do not wish to cause offence to a valued business partner by referring to you incorrectly. Am I to understand that referring to you as “Chief Sanusi” is acceptable? I simply wish to ensure that I am addressing you correctly, my dear friend. I would hate to cause offence without realising it.

Regarding my passport, I have emailed my PA, Miss Rhondda Valley, and have asked her to forward you a copy as soon as she is able. Miss Valley is extremely dependable and trustworthy – in fact, she often serves as my right hand – so you should receive a copy of my passport directly.

Thank you for your input on Martha Tydfil’s marketing collateral. It came later than I would have liked, but we are not due to discuss this in detail until tomorrow, when I intend to take your advice and speak freely to her about my concerns. I am definitely not happy about her initial designs. However, I employed her for a purpose, and she may well know better than me on this matter. We shall see. Thank you for your advice.

I must return to my meeting – I expect we will continue well into the night. I hope to catch up with you on Monday, before I leave for America. My sincere best wishes to you and your family.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: All is well

Sent: Sat, 04 Oct 2023 08:01:20 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thanks for your response. I understood what it took you to read and respond to the mail. Please be friendly while dealing with the people, remember to protect me and the funds. Whatever is the phrase that they used please don’t mind, and I believe they will answer your questions well.

Meanwhile, you should not pick offence or even bother on how to address me, address me as your dear friend, no need for title or whatsoever. I am your friend and partner, OK?

I wait for a copy of your passport from your personal assistant as you promised.

God be with you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: CLARIFICATION

Sent: Sat, 04 Oct 2023 17:32:35 +0200 (CEST)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

Please note that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to us and an appointment will be booked for you on that date. There is no protocol to observe, so depending on the time of your arrival, we will be able to finish on that same day and if you wish to travel back to London, you can do that.

Our location is Plaza de Sur S/N, 28009, Madrid, Spain. The office is located right in the heart of the city but if you confirm the time of your arrival we could have you picked up at the airport by our driver to our office. The office address above is our administrative office but we do not disclose the address of our security vault where consignments of our clients are deposited for very obvious reasons until the client is identified as the true beneficiary.

You can pay the fees by cash in our office, there is no problem about that. We are still expecting the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation, and please note that the letter of authorisation MUST bear your passport number with your name attached to it.

I’m sorry for the error in the spelling of “demorrage”. The correct word is “demurrage”, and this is the cost of keeping the consignment in our security vault. You are aware that this consignment has been deposited in our vault since March 2002 and the cost of demurrage is 20 Euros per day, so between the months of March 2002 and October 2003, our demurrage fee is 11,500.00 Euros (the meaning of demurrage as found in the dictionary: “An expression that owner of a vessel may be entitled for demurrage for port delay to his vessel, but no dispatch is applicable in case laytime is saved”).

Our insurance fee is 4,500.00 Euros (every consignment in our custody is insured to guard against theft or being tampered with).

Our handling/administrative fee is 1,650.70 Euros. Altogether totalling 17,650.70 Euros.

I look forward to working with you, and count on us for every assistance you may need regarding this transaction.

Regards,

Francis Morra (PRO)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Re: Clarification

Sent: Sun, 05 Oct 2023 08:57:09

Dear Mr Morra,

Thank you for your email. You seem to have answered all of my questions admirably.

I am pleased that Wednesday 22 October is acceptable to you. I am travelling to New York until a week on Tuesday, but on my return the following Wednesday I will arrange a flight to Madrid and inform you of my anticipated arrival time.

I understand that you are waiting for the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation. I will forward these to you as soon as possible. Please note that I may not be able to get these to you until my return from America. However, I will ensure that you get them in good time.

I look forward to meeting you in Spain on the 22nd.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Re: All is well

Sent: Sun, 05 Oct 2023 09:01:33

Dear Chief Sanusi,

A quick email after breakfast before today’s meeting begins.

The security company has contacted me and answered all of my queries. They are happy for me to travel to Madrid on 22 October.

However, they still require a certificate of deposit and a letter of authorisation from me – I believe that you were going to email these two documents to me? I cannot proceed with the security company until you do so.

I trust that you have received a copy of my passport from Miss Valley.

I will check my email tomorrow before I travel to America.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: All is well

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 09:57:29 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

How are your and your family today? hope you had a wonderful weekend. And I believe you shall be on your way soon to America. I wish you the best of luck and pray that God will give you a peaceful and journey mercy.

I have not received any copy of your passport from your PA or anybody, please try as much as possible to get her send it to me before your departure to America. It is important because my lawyer has just requested for your passport number to enable him prepare the agreement and the authorisation letter. He stressed out that it is very important for the authenticity of the documents, please do. As soon as I receive it, I will despatch the certificate, including a copy of my passport altogether to you. Please consider it as very crucial and treat with despatch.

I am very happy to hear from you that the security company has answered your questions and accepted 22 October 2023 for your visit. Absolutely good news from you, please keep to your promise.

I am waiting eagerly to receive the requested copy from you this morning.

God bless you and your family.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Rhondda Valley

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 10:38:21

My dearest Gilbert,

Regarding your request for me to send your new colleague Mr Zanussi a copy of your passport. I thought it best to run this by Colin Bay, our Head of Security. I hope you approve of my actions. I decided it would be best to err on the side of caution, especially after that business with the Ukrainian Poultry Mafia intercepting your emails last year.

Mr Bay advised against sending a copy of your passport via email to anyone. He says that even if you trust the person you are sending it to implicitly, the possibility of someone hacking into your emails is too high, and that there is the possibility that a hacker could use your passport for nefarious purposes. He advises instead that you simply send Mr Zanussi your passport number.

Regarding our trip tomorrow, I have everything prepared. I have booked us two adjoining rooms in the hotel, so hopefully we will be able to mix a little pleasure in with our business. I’m hoping that “Gilbert the cartoon rooster” isn’t the only cock I’ll be seeing this week!

I shall send details of our travel arrangements to your wife as usual.

Regards as ever,

Rhondda xx

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Fwd: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 10:54:59

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I attach the contents of an email that I have just received from my PA, Miss Valley. As you can see, she has consulted our Head of Security, who has strongly advised against me emailing a copy of my passport, for security reasons. We had some terrible problems last year when a rival poultry processing concern in the Ukraine managed to hack into my email account and tried to poach our customers from us. It is a dog-eat-dog world in this business sometimes. Or rather a chicken-eat-chicken world. Quite literally, actually, given what goes into chicken feed these days...

I trust that you can understand my concerns and that this is acceptable to you. Assuming that this is the case, my passport number is 037639887.

I trust that we can now move forward. I will contact you as soon as I return from the United States and get this show on the road.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Fwd: Your passport

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 10:26:36 +0000

I see no reason why you can’t send a copy of your passport to me. If really you are what you are and you realise whom I am and the benefits attached to our relationship, you won’t say no to it. You should not even ask anybody to send it to me, you should use your hand and do it. I am not asking anybody to send you my passport or even the documents, I can’t release your email address or any of your contacts to anybody, not even my lawyer nor my wife, I keep everything highly confidential. Your passport is a point to prove to me that you are real. I am even disappointed for you to give my email address to your PA, to the extent taking the issue to another person. Think about. I will not release any document or my passport until you are back.

Thank you,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Trust

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 12:02:35

Dear Chief Sanusi,

I am in receipt of your email. I have to say, I was rather taken aback by its tone. Some might call it rude.

To deal with the points you raised:

• My Head of Security has advised me not to send a copy of my passport via email, due to the risk of it being intercepted. You cannot possibly appreciate the scale of the problems we had last year when one of our competitors intercepted my emails. I have no wish for anything similar to happen again. My Head of Security has a good head on his shoulders, and I always take note of his advice.
• I am not implying that YOU might do anything untoward with my passport; I trust you implicitly. My concern is that a third party might intercept the email and the copy of my passport. We do not want a repeat of last year’s problems.
• I passed your email address on to Rhondda Valley as she is my most trusted confidante. Believe me, I would trust Miss Valley with anything. She is the soul of discretion, which is very fortunate, all things considered. I have not passed on your email address to anyone else, and nor do I intend to.
• What do you mean by “If really you are what you are”? Are you questioning my word?

I believe that we are at the beginning of an important and profitable business relationship. But business relationships are built on mutual trust.

I trust you completely. I have no wish to see your passport, to prove who you are. I can tell from the way you word your emails that you are a man of truth, a man who would find it impossible to lie or deceive. This is what trust is all about.

If you are questioning my word – if you do not trust me – then to be quite frank I would rather we quit this business here and now. I will not do business with a man who does not trust me. Never have done, never will do.

I think we are in a position here to help each other out, very profitably indeed.

I have given you my passport number. I have given you my personal details. I trust you. I refuse to waste my time with someone who does not trust me. Either you trust me, or we can forget this whole business. Personally, I think it would be a shame to throw away this unique opportunity. The choice is yours.

I look forward to hearing from you. I expect a reply before the end of the day.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Trust

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 11:41:38 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you for your prompt response. First of all, let me say that am sorry for taking you aback. You see, I want you to understand me. I don’t want at the end of it all, it will be that I was revealing my self to a fellow Nigerian. We are just communicating only via email, I have not heard your voice either. A lot of Nigerians are over there. I trust you, but I need more evidence to certify that you are truly Mr Gilbert Murray, as per trust, honestly speaking, I trust you 100%. Consider my position and my personality. Please, it is better we end here if you are making jest of me, please try to understand me. I will send you my own passport including my CBN staff ID card without any problem. If you can fax yours then I will give you a confidential fax line that you can fax it, please try to understand. I tried to call the number you gave me but the line seem to be bad.

I do hope that you will see that I am trying to clarify the situation. I trust you my dear friend.

Thanking you and awaiting your response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am pleased that you wish to continue

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 19:06:27

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. I must say that I found it slightly confusing. You say that you trust me 100%, but in the same sentence you state that you need more evidence that I am Gilbert Murray. To me, this says that you do not trust me.

Thank you for your offer to send me your passport and CBN identity card, but as I have already told you, I trust you. I do not want any proof that you are who you say you are. What would there be to gain from you lying about this?

Similarly, I do not understand why you think I may be “making jest”. What possible reason would there be for me to do that? I am a busy man and to be frank I have far better things to do with my time. This is a business relationship.

I apologise that the telephone line I gave you appears to be faulty. The telephone company are working in the area at the moment replacing the telegraph poles and there are intermittent outages. Hopefully this will no longer be the case by the time I return from America.

I am sorry, but I will not be able to check my email now until I return from America next Wednesday. I look forward to resuming this business with vigour on that day.

Wishing you and your family all the best for the coming week.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am pleased that you wish to continue

Sent: Mon, 06 Oct 2023 18:55:02 +0000

Hello my dear,

I am happy to read from you again today. Right now, I am writing you from home. I wasn’t expecting your response again as you said you will be travelling today. Did you not travel again?

Meanwhile, I have taken everything you said and I want to take you for your words. I believe you realise the mutual benefit this relationship will give birth to.

I will be waiting eagerly to hear from you, if possible you can give me your hotel room telephone number in the USA so that I can give you a call.

Thank you.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: I am back

Sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2023 10:47:46

Dear Chief Sanusi,

You will be pleased to hear that I am back safe and sound from my trip to the United States. I feel rather jetlagged, but things could be worse.

How are you, my dear chap? I trust you are well? Everything alright at the bank?

Unfortunately, things did not go as planned at the International Poultry Product Convention. I had hoped that this would be a chance for us to break into the American market, especially with our new Chicka-Cola product. But events put paid to that. All seemed to be going well for the first day of the convention – there was a lot of interest from the American fast food companies and everyone seemed to want to sample some Chicka-Cola. However, disaster struck on day two, when over half the attendees at the convention came down with a particularly violent form of food poisoning. It was mayhem. People were vomiting everywhere. Most unpleasant. The convention had to be halted while janitors cleaned up. Health officials carried out a number of tests, and traced the outbreak back to the Chicka-Cola we had brought to the convention. Needless to say, after that little episode, nobody was in the least bit interested in Chicka-Cola, or in any of our other products for that matter.

Luckily, none of our own staff were affected – as we know very well what goes into our products, there are very few employees who actually eat them themselves. As you can imagine, I was furious. I got straight onto Don Caster, our Production Manager back at the factory, and instructed him to carry out a full and immediate inquiry into what had gone wrong. As it turned out, Don Caster himself was to blame – he had mistakenly used a load of diseased chicken flesh that had been marked as “unfit for human consumption” to make the batch of Chicka-Cola. What a fool! That chicken was supposed to be relabelled and sold on to an unsuspecting company in Poland, but in the end the Polish company got the good chicken by mistake! As soon as Don Caster reported his findings to me and admitted his guilt, I sacked him on the spot.

All in all, this has been a disastrous week. Let us hope that this coming week will prove to be better. And more profitable. After this week’s fiasco, I could definitely do with the money.

So, where do we go from here? I was expecting to receive the documents I need from you, but you have sent me nothing. Please send me them by return so that I can forward them to the bank and we can get this show on the road.

Rhondda Valley has been busy looking into flights for me, and it would appear that I can get flight BA1792 from Birmingham to Madrid next Wednesday, which arrives in Madrid at 13:40 (local time). Miss Valley tells me that there are limited seats remaining in business class, so let me know as soon as possible if I should go ahead and book the flight.

I must go and rest now. The jetlag is catching up with me. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. On another matter, I now need to find an alternative market for our new Chicka-Cola product. How do you think it would be received in West Africa? Are you fond of processed chicken products there? Please let me know.

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: You are welcome my dear

Sent: Wed, 15 Oct 2023 11:01:27 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks your detailed message today. Very happy to read your message and to note that you are back. You are welcome my dear friend. Sadly to read what happened to you, please accept it as it came, don’t allow it to pull you down. I believe that God has a reason for every purpose, he will surely bless you in one way or the other.

I have sent a message across to my lawyer for him to bring the documents, and I will send it to you later today as soon as he brings them. I did not feel comfortable to send it on your absence. Now that you are back, I will send it to you. Please finalise with your assistant for your travelling arrangements and forward to me your full schedule. You should also forward one to the security company officials in Spain to enable them appoint a driver to come to the airport to pick you up. Next Wednesday as you scheduled is OK. Please go ahead to finalise.

Thanking you, please expect the documents from me later today.

My regards to you and your family.

Your friend,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am back

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2023 11:12:18 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

How are you today? hope fine. I believe you received my mail yesterday, am sorry I could not send the documents as I promised yesterday. I am sending them one by one now. Please confirm the receipt because the server is too slow here.

I wait for your prompt response.

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

(Click to enlarge)

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Arrangements for next Wednesday

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2023 13:53:10

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your emails, and for your kind words regarding the disaster we encountered at the International Poultry Product Convention. I appreciate your sentiments, although after what happened at the Convention, I am not sure that I agree with you that God has a reason for every purpose. I fail to see what reason God could have for making over 300 people ill with serious food poisoning. Although of course that was our fault, not God’s. Anyway, if God really is going to bless me in one way or the other, I wish he would start doing so soon.

I suppose I should not complain. After all, I am blessed in a few ways. I have my wife and two lovely children. And I also have the lovely Miss Valley, who acts as my right hand in more ways than one. And on top of that, I also now have this promising business relationship with your good self. Things could be worse.

Regarding my travelling arrangements. I have instructed Miss Valley to book both of us onto flight BA1792 from Birmingham to Madrid next Wednesday, which arrives in Madrid at 13:40 (local time). She has done so. I have instructed her to leave the return flight open, to give me ample time to conduct the business with the security company, and to give Miss Valley and I chance to explore Madrid, and mix a little pleasure with our business, if you know what I mean. I am sure you are a man of the world.

Thank you also for sending me the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation. I shall of course send an email to the security company directly containing details of our flight, and ensure that they will be able to send a driver to collect us. I will attach these documents to the email I send.

I have a feeling in my bones that this business is going to be extremely profitable for both of us.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You did not answer my question about the nature of the processed chicken product market in West Africa. Please let me know – there could be an opportunity for us to make money here in more ways than one. I gather that the food hygiene standards in West Africa are lower than they are in Europe, which would suit my operation down to the ground.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Francis Morra

Subject: Details of my travelling arrangements to Spain

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2023 13:56:48

Dear Mr Morra,

I am writing to you to confirm the details of my travelling arrangements to Madrid. I will be arriving at Madrid airport on flight BA1792 from Birmingham next Wednesday, which arrives at 13:40 (local time). I will be travelling with my PA, Miss Rhondda Valley. I trust this will be acceptable.

You mentioned the possibility of sending a driver to pick me up at the airport. I would appreciate this very much, as I do not know Madrid at all well, neither Miss Valley or I have a good grasp of Spanish, although I have to say that Miss Valley is peculiarly well-skilled in other matters of an oral nature.

I would appreciate it if you could send me an email confirming that this is acceptable, and confirming the items I must bring with me to Madrid. I attach the certificate of deposit and letter of authorisation that you required.

Also, could you recommend a decent hotel for us to book into in Madrid? One close to your offices and also close to the centre of town would be ideal. Preferably a four or five-star establishment. Do you know of any hotels in Madrid that have waterbeds in their rooms?

Many thanks,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2023 21:26:20 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

Thank you for your detailed mail. I am quite glad to read that you are set to move on the stipulated date, please do send them the full schedule as you promised and send a copy to me as well. They will send a driver to come to the airport as they promised.

Concerning your chicken poultry product in Africa, that will be a welcome development to our business relationship. I will appoint some people to take care of it, just try as much as possible to send us details and samples.

Thank you so much,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Re: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Thu, 16 Oct 2023 22:48:24

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. A quick response before I sign off for the night. I have sent the details of my flight schedule to the security company in Spain, so they know what time I am due to arrive at the airport with Miss Valley next Wednesday. I have also asked the security company if they can recommend a suitable hotel for us to book into. I also sent the documents you forwarded on to me to the security company. So, all is set.

It is promising news indeed that you think there may be scope for my company to expand into the Nigerian market. I am most encouraged. The European Union is introducing new, ever more stringent laws on food hygiene all the time, and expanding into a more unregulated market would be a very good move for us.

Not that we produce unsafe products, you understand. I merely believe in the age-old saying “caveat emptor”. You can regulate things too much in my view. We don’t want to strangle business in red tape after all, do we? You are a businessman. I am sure you can appreciate my point of view.

I will compile a list of our current product range and send it on to you within the next day or so. I would appreciate it if you could send me details of any existing large poultry processing companies that are currently located in Nigeria – it is good to know who the competition are. Also, could you please let me know which chicken-based products are most popular in your country?

On a related matter, if you were looking for a decent company to invest in, you need look no further than us. In the world of chickens, we rule the roost, if you’ll pardon the pun.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Your prompt response, please

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 08:18:02 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received with thanks your detailed mail, content noted. Please try as much as possible to let me know what their response is like on the letter you sent to them, you can forward their message to me please.

Meanwhile, concerning your poultry products, I will appoint somebody to make research within the poultry market here and within to bring you information. As you know, that it is not my line of business and you know I am always busy.

Don’t worry, the person will handle that very well, just provide the samples and the range of your products.

Thank you, and do please write promptly,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: Details of our product range

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 09:58:58

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. As requested, here are brief details of our range of products:

• Full range of complete frozen chickens and turkeys, from economy to premium, including corn-fed and organic versions. With or without giblets.
• Large range of frozen chicken portions, including breasts, thighs and wings. Again, these range from economy to premium, including corn-fed and organic.
• Large range of processed chicken pies, including chicken, chicken and mushroom, chicken and spam, chicken and vegetable, chicken and gravy, chicken and turkey, chicken and ham and chicken and beef. Variety of sizes.
• Large range of processed chicken ready-meals, including chicken and chips, chicken peas and chips, chicken curry, etc.
• Large range of chicken soups, both ready-made and powdered.
• Chicken-flavoured dog and cat foods (which are made on the same production line as our chicken pies, and which do not differ from the contents of the pies very much at all).
• Our new experimental products (which are not yet on the market), including Chicka-Cola, Chicken and Banana Pudding and Chicken and Strawberry Crumble. Martha Tydfil is also looking into the possibility of producing a chicken-flavoured ice cream product, much along the lines of one produced by a famous fast food chain. This will give us another opportunity to make money out of the remnants of flesh that are left on the carcass once all the proper meat has been removed. Its working title at the moment is “Murray’s Chicken Slurry Flurry”. Although I doubt it will make it into production with that name. Martha has some strange notions of what is acceptable at times.

You will note that we are keen to diversify and “add value” to our products: there is not much profit margin on a simple chicken carcass. However, process the most unattractive slop into something more appetising, and you can whack the price up and get the mugs to get their wallets out. This is where we excel.

Please pass this information on to your Nigerian chicken expert. As for samples, perhaps you could take some back with you when we meet up and share out the money?

I will forward the security company’s response to you as soon as I receive it. I am really looking forward to next Wednesday – I can almost taste the money. I am sure you feel the same way.

I must go: I have a meeting for the rest of the morning discussing our proposed new pheasant plucking facility. If this goes ahead, we will need to take on some new staff. Do you know of any pheasant pluckers in Nigeria?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I will do something about your products

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 10:00:53 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

I received your response with details of the range of your products, please be rest assured that I will do something about it. However, I wish to let you know that such products have to be registered and examined by NAFDAC before bringing it into the country, but am assuring you that it will work out. I am still waiting to receive the response the security company will give you, please forward to me immediately.

Have a great day, and God bless you and your family,

Chief Sanusi (CBN)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Joseph Sanusi

Subject: NAFCAC?

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 12:06:37

Dear Chief Sanusi,

Thank you for your email. What is “NAFCAC”? I have not heard of it. Presumably it is some kind of governmental food regulatory organisation? I’m never too keen to have people examine the contents of our products too closely, to tell the truth.

However, if it’s absolutely necessary, we would be able to produce some “clean” samples to send on to the agency for testing purposes. This is an approach we have used in a number of countries in which regulations are more lax than they are in the European Union.

Alternatively, we often find that the appropriate food safety officials can be “persuaded” to pass our products without testing them too closely. The odd brown envelope here and there often helps to oil the wheels, if you know what I mean. Common practice in many countries. I am sure that Nigeria will be no different. Perhaps your chicken expert could find out which palms it would be most beneficial for us to grease within NAFCAC?

I really do appreciate your help in this matter, my friend. I feel confident that our relationship will be mutually beneficial, and extremely profitable.

I am conducting interviews all afternoon, trying to find a replacement for the Production Manager I had to sack after the mass food poisoning incident at the International Poultry Product Convention. There look to be some promising candidates. Hopefully I will be able to find someone with a bit more common sense than Don Caster, and who is able to tell their parson’s nose from their wing.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Francis Morra

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: APPOINTMENT BOOKED

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 20:56:32 +0200 (CEST)

Dear Mr Gilbert Murray,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail regarding your arrival in Madrid. We do not have any problem regarding your coming with your personal assistant, our duty is to ensure that you receive the best of attention during your stay in Madrid and to have a successful business transaction with you.

Having said that, there is no more requirement we will need from you regarding the documents which I earlier informed you, as we have the needed documents from the scanned copies you sent to us. It has been printed and filed accordingly, what we need from you now is the charges which you will pay in cash in our office upon your arrival in Madrid as informed in my previous mail to you.

Please, I will have to enquire and send you a suitable hotel information as you requested for you to make your reservation before your arrival. I will be sending you the information by tomorrow.

As agreed, you will be picked from the airport upon your arrival to our office by our driver as an appointment has been booked for you on that date. However, it’s important that you reconfirm your direct line or cell number to enable us communicate with you before your arrival. Alternatively, you can call us on this number: 0034 686 358 621, for further conclusion of your arrangements towards your arrival.

Regards,

Francis Morra

From: Joseph Sanusi

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: NAFCAC?

Sent: Fri, 17 Oct 2023 19:16:32 +0000

Hello my dear friend,

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