I have been given your details by a business associate of mine – Mr Minge, the Director of Operations at the Hang Seng Bank Ltd in Hong Kong. I gather that you are his attorney and that you have been working for Mr Minge and myself regarding the fortune left behind by the late Major Fadi Basem.

Mr Minge and I are trying to arrange for the transfer of Major Basem’s fortune into my own bank account. He told me yesterday that in order for us to do this, you will need to prepare a number of documents and that this would cost approximately 3,000 Euros. Mr Minge also told me that you required some information from me in order to prepare the documents, but he didn’t specify exactly what.

Please get back to me by return and let me know exactly what information it is that you need from me, and I will do my best to provide it to you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Wed, 02 Aug 2023 13:29:37 -0700 (PDT)

Joop Geesinkweg 901-999
1096 AZ Amsterdam
Netherlands

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray

Dear Sir,

This is to inform you on behalf of staff and members of Dean Morgan Van Chambers that your email was received and well understand and I want to assure you that everything regarding your transaction with Mr Ming Yang would soon be ending successfully, if only you act diligently to my instructions and guidelines. Mr Ming Yang concerning you has duly contacted me.

I would like to introduce myself to you; I am Barrister Morgan Van, the financial adviser to the Holland Stock Market and also the legal advice to Mr Ming Yang of Hang Sang Bank Ltd (sic), Hong Kong. It is my pleasure to notify you that after my careful findings, it is very necessary that the funds involved in this transaction has to be transferred directly in safe bits to your local account in your country. The reason is because it would be well mobilised by you and also preventing high the rate of taxation so you do not really need to set up any online bank account.

At exactly 10am Monday morning (2nd August 2006), a formal application stating your position regarding the funds was faxed to Hang Sang Bank Ltd as instructed by Mr Ming Yang for verification and these are the verification findings that were out listed to me by the bank and we need to make sure that we try our best to suit their requirement before the stipulated time.

Also I want you to know that in addition to the certificate that puts you as the next of kin to the late Major Fadi (beneficiary certificate) I will need to prepare the following documents that will assist in your speedy acquiring of the loan, get a legal backing to your physical possession of the document and request for financial assistance. The documents are:

Beneficiary certificate
Legal authorisation for financial aid
Funds transfer slip
Bank authorisation slip
Ownership authorisation slip

Let me also inform you that for item (1) through (5), you are required to pay a fee of 3,000 Euros (three thousand Euros) would be required from you immediately to start documentations. You will need to act fast so by Monday 8th 2006 the funds would be wired into your account immediately after the final verification on Saturday 6th same August 2006.

You are required to send your full contact address and bank details, which will be on the documents of the sole beneficiary.

Below is our receiver’s contacts of where you are to send the fee with:

Name: EDE EVANS
Address: Bloomstraat 112, 1012 HD, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

We await your urgent response as regard the fee so we can commence the preparation of the needed documents, as we really do not have much time to toil with on this matter.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 05:07:13 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

I am in receipt of your mail and update. I want to thank you for your effect on this transaction. I am from Hong Kong does not mean that I should be using Hong Kong attorney as well.

This man has been a partner for many years so I know what will be good for us. Like I told you in my previous email I am doing this confidential from anybody from my country. But if you suggest we use Hong Kong attorney which I do not see difficult but I know this will be good for us.

And do get back to me with every email you receive from him for my reference.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van; Cc: Ming Yang

Subject: The information you requested, and a few queries

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 08:57:08

Dear Mr Van,

Thank you for your email. Firstly, I must apologise for getting your name wrong. From what my associate Mr Minge told me, I thought that your surname was “Chambers”. I now see that I was mistaken. Please forgive me. Incidentally, I’m still confused over your first name: is it “Dean” or “Morgan”?

Incidentally, while we’re on the subject of names, please note that the bank that Mr Minge works for is the Hang Seng Bank, not the Hang Sang Bank, as you put in your email. It may be a small point, but it pays to get these things right. As an attorney, you probably know that. Or then again maybe you don’t.

Anyway, to business. Having read your email, I have a few queries. I would be grateful if you could answer them by return.

Firstly, could you please clarify what you mean when you say that the money should be transferred into my account “in safe bits”, and what do you mean when you say that it would be “well mobilised” by me? What precisely is a “safe bit”, and what do I need to do in order to “mobilise” things? Indeed, what is it that I need to “mobilise”?

Secondly, you referred to a fax being sent at “10am Monday morning (2nd August 2006)”. This Monday was actually the 31st July, not the 2nd August. On which day was the fax actually sent?

Thirdly, you referred to the possibility of final verification taking place on “Saturday 6th same August 2006” and to the funds being transferred on “Monday 8th”. This coming Saturday is not the 6th August and this coming Monday is not the 8th. Precisely which dates are you referring to here?

Fourthly, you referred to the “speedy aquiring of the loan” in your email. What loan are you referring to here? I don’t want to loan money from anybody.

Fifthly, what is this “financial aid” you’re referring to? I don’t want any financial aid from anybody; I simply want to have Major Fadi Basem’s fortune transferred into my bank account. Are you confusing me with another one of your clients, perhaps?

Sixthly, you say that a fee of 3,000 Euros will be payable. Is this 3,000 Euros per document, or 3,000 Euros altogether? Whichever, I have to say that it sounds like an awful lot of money just to obtain a few documents. Tell me, what proportion of this money is going to pay for unavoidable court fees and what proportion of it relates to your own personal fee?

Seventhly, I have to say that I am surprised that you are asking for these fees upfront. In all of the dealings I’ve had with lawyers in the past, not a single one of them has ever asked me for an upfront fee; they have always performed their services and then presented me with an invoice at the end of it. I trust that you will see no problem in working in this way too.

Now then, you asked for my address and my bank details. Here they are:

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK
Bank Account Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray
Bank Account Number: 74053275
Sort Code: 21-38-19
Account Holding Bank: Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK

Please get back to me by return with answers to my queries. I look forward to doing business with you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. May I respectfully suggest that you might find that a calendar or a diary would come in useful in your line of work? If you had one, you probably wouldn’t have made all those silly little mistakes over dates in your last email. Why not send your secretary out to buy you one this morning? They’re not very expensive.

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 04:20:30 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that your email was well received at Dean Morgan Van Chambers. Mr Murray I am sorry about the slit (sic) mistakes. It is my secretary who prepared the email.

I have read your email and it was well understood by me. Saying you can mobilise the funds means you can take good care of the funds without any monetary bodies in England.

I have faxed everything to Hang Seng Bank Ltd. Do not worry about the mistake made by my secretary.

Talking about a loan means that transferring the funds will be seen as a loan in your country but in Hang Seng Bank it will be seen as an inheritance.

I am sorry I cannot do anything right now to finish the document before the fee. You need to understand that this is an organisation so it is the policy of the company. You will have to pay up the fee which is for the whole documents and my fee as well.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: You haven’t answered some of my queries

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 13:53:21

Dear Mr Van,

Thank you for your email and for answering some of my queries. However, you haven’t answered a couple of of the queries that I put to you in my last email. I would appreciate it if you could send me answers to my remaining queries (see below) by return so that we can make some progress.

You didn’t tell me what you meant when you referred to transferring the money “in safe bits”. What is a “safe bit”?
What proportion of the 3,000 Euros is going to pay for unavoidable court fees and what proportion of it relates to your own personal fee?

In addition to this, I am even more confused than I was before about this “loan” you keep talking about. You said in your last email that “transferring the funds will be seen as a loan” in my country. Well I don’t want it to be seen as a loan; if it’s seen as a loan, mightn’t that mean that someone expects me to pay it back? I don’t want to pay it back; I want it transferred for good. What can you do about this?

Please get back to me as soon as you can and clear up these troubling questions. I will be waiting to hear from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I understand completely that the stupid mistakes in your previous email were caused by your secretary. I’d give her the push and get straight onto a temping agency for a replacement if I were you: good secretaries are ten a penny, so there’s absolutely no reason to put up with a lame brain like the one you’ve got at the moment.

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 08:36:09 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that your email was received here in Dean Morgan Van Chambers. I also want to thank you for your past few correction you send to us.

The reason why I said safe bit is because we will need to transfer the whole funds twice safe bit to avoid any monetary bodies in Hong Kong and England.

About the fee, I have knowed Mr Ming for long so I know why I am charging you that amount of fee. The 3,000 Euro is meant for the document and I know after the successful part of the business between you and Mr Ming, it will be your power to pay me for my well done on this matter but I just have to collect the document fee from you for now.

And please no more question because I have other client to attend to.

Any time you felt like proceeding on the start of the preparation of the document you can pay up the fee and let me know that you have done it so we can proceed here.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: How should I get the 3,000 Euros to you?

Sent: Thu, 03 Aug 2023 16:59:16

Dear Mr Van,

Thank you for your email. What is the best way of getting the 3,000 Euros to you? Shall I pop a cheque in the post? Or perhaps you would prefer travellers’ cheques? Please let me know and I will make the necessary arrangements.

Regarding the questions I asked you, I have to admit that I’m still none the wiser as to what a “safe bit” is... and now you’re talking about transferring “the whole funds twice”. How would that work? Would that mean that I ended up with twice as much money? If that is indeed the case then I’m all for it.

Also, you still haven’t answered my question about why “transferring the funds will be seen as a loan”. It’s not a loan; it’s a bank transfer we’re talking about, and I’m not intending to pay the money back to anyone once it’s been transferred, so the last thing I want is for the authorities to see it as a loan. Please confirm that you will be doing all that you can to avoid any such misunderstanding taking place.

Get back to me as soon as you can with answers to these pressing matters, and let me know how best to get the 3,000 Euros to you. Do you take Visa?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I came across a woman with the same surname as you – “Van” – some years ago. A lovely woman, she was. She sold camping equipment in the nearest town. Her first name was Kara. I don’t suppose the two of you are related by any chance?

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE (SORRY FOR MY LATE RESPONSE)

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 14:55:22 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

I am in receipt of your mail and update. I am very sorry for not replying you in time it was due to too many work at the office I have to go asleep immediately I get home.

Brother how far have you gone with the attorney? I will appreciate an urgent response immediately.

I await your response.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 00:11:59 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

This is to notify that your email was received here in this above chamber. Mr Gilbert I am sorry I do not think you are serious about this matter which I do not find strange.

Below are the company receiver’s name which you can make the payment to and get back to me with the payment slip. You can send it via Western Union near you or any Walmart.

Name: EDE EVANS
Address: Bloomstraat 112, 1012 HD, Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Mr Gilbert please do get back to me with your personal cell phone number which I will need urgently.

I have already changed the transfer details of the loan. Do not worry about that. But if you wish you are serious and ready to get the funds transferred to your account at your country do make the payment so the whole document can be finished here then we can fax them to Hang Seng Bank Ltd.

We await your response as regard the fee.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: How dare you write to me in such an insulting manner?

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 08:52:40

Mr Van,

I have just read your last email. To be frank, sir, I found it rude and insolent.

How dare you write to me in such an insulting manner? Is it standard practice within your chambers to insult your clients? The lawyer who normally takes care of my legal affairs – Welsby, of the legal firm Elton and Welsby – has never once been rude to me in all the time I have been dealing with him... and he’s been handling my briefs for over ten years now.

If you ask me, Mr Van, you could do with taking a leaf out of Welsby’s book. In fact you could probably do with borrowing his entire library.

There is a great deal of money at stake here, Mr Van, so I can assure you that I am perfectly serious about this affair. If anyone around here isn’t treating this business with the seriousness it deserves, it’s you, Mr Van, not me.

I have been deeply unimpressed with your performance in this matter so far, Mr Van. Let me spell out the reasons why:

The very first email you sent to me was riddled with inaccuracies – which you blamed on your mutton-headed secretary. Even if the errors were her fault and not yours (which I am beginning to doubt), no lawyer worth his salt would have let such an appallingly error-strewn email go out in his name.
Your first email to me raised a number of important questions, yet when I pressed you for answers to these questions you either failed to answer them, or you answered them in such a cack-handed manner that they raised further questions... which you then refused to answer.
You keep on referring to this transfer of money as a “loan”, when I have told you time and time again that it is no such thing.
To top it all, you now have the temerity to insult me.

I could go on to mention your appalling grammar, your pitiful spelling and the unstudied manner in which you express yourself – I have come across more accomplished English scrawled onto the walls of the village toilets – but I am too polite to do so. I have put that down to you being Dutch.

I am sorry, Mr Van, but I am simply not prepared to go any further with you on this matter until I have received a full and unreserved apology from you for the rude and insolent manner in which you have addressed me. If I receive an apology from you I will transfer the 3,000 Euros to your sidekick first thing on Monday morning. If I do not, you can go hang and I will find myself another lawyer.

Get back to me at once. I am waiting.

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ming Yang

Subject: I am not impressed with your attorney

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 08:59:32

Dear Mr Minge,

I am sorry to say that I am not impressed with your attorney. Not only does the man seem incapable of expressing himself with any degree of clarity – his writing is more akin to that of a simpleton than to that of a lawyer – but he had the temerity to insult me in his last email!

As if this wasn’t bad enough, the man doesn’t seem to have a grasp of what this business is actually about. He keeps on referring to this money transfer as a “loan”, which it patently is not, yet despite me trying to explain this to him on a number of occasions, he still doesn’t seem to understand. I’m worried that he’s going to draw up the wrong documents and that I’m going to end up having to pay the money back!

You told me that this man was “well knowed in Hong Kong and United States”. Precisely what is he “well knowed” for, Mr Minge? Is it for cleaning toilets, perhaps? Or maybe for sweeping dung off the streets? Whatever it is he is “well knowed” for, I’d be absolutely amazed if it was for being a lawyer.

I am a man of honour, Mr Minge. I treat all those with whom I come into contact with the utmost respect, and I expect others to do likewise in their dealings with me. Leaving aside Mr Van’s other many failings, I simply refuse to do business with anyone who has the poor manners to insult me.

For the sake of this transaction – and given the large amount of money that is at stake here – I have told Mr Van that I will be willing to move forward with him if – and only if – I receive a full apology from him for his disgraceful behaviour.

If the man has the decency to apologise, I will transfer the fee to him on Monday morning. If not, we will simply have to find ourselves another lawyer.

I told you we shouldn’t have gone for an Aquarian lawyer Mr Minge, but did you listen to me? No, you didn’t. Well if I haven’t received a full apology from Mr Van by Monday morning, I’m going to pop my head around Welsby’s door and see if he can help us out in this matter.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 21:00:25 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

Thank you for your update. Brother I understand every bit of word you are trying to explain. But I want you to know that we all are humans so let us give him a chance but I know Mr Morgan is good in such matters.

It will be better if you can send them the money by Monday so I can schedule the date of the transfer here in my bank.

Do act fast about everything from your side.

I await your response.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 06:27:07 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your email and for letting me knows that I have offended you without going further on it. Mr Gilbert I am very sorry if I have say anything insult on my last email but to be frank and sincere you make me feel I am nothing.

No problem. You deserve an appeal. Please Mr Gilbert I promise to give you the successful part of this matters and have told you before not to worry about the statement “loan”. You will not pay it back to anybody. The money will arrive safe into your account without any error or interferences of any monetary bodies.

Do get back to me by Monday so we can get the document prepared and faxed to Hong Kong.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van; Ming Yang

Subject: Apology accepted

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:44:17

Dear Mr Van,

Thank you for your grovelling apology, which I grudgingly accept. Please ensure that you do not address me in such an insolent manner again. I am paying you to do a job of work for me, not to insult me; I have the wife for that.

I will be away this weekend but will be returning home late on Sunday night. Therefore I will head into the village and transfer the money to your assistant first thing on Monday morning.

Hopefully we will be able to get this money transferred at some point during next week.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. Tell me, is this “Ede Evans” a man or a woman? That’s not a name I’ve come across before.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ming Yang

Subject: Your attorney has apologised

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 16:48:57

Dear Mr Minge,

I am pleased to report that your attorney has apologised for being so unpardonably rude to me. As he has done so, I will be transferring the 3,000 Euros to his assistant on Monday morning.

Let us hope that Mr Van remembers his manners during our business dealings next week: if he has the audacity to address me like that one more time I will insist that we find ourselves a different lawyer.

I will be away for the weekend, but I will be back in touch on Monday. Do have a pleasant weekend, my friend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I have been busy today compiling this month’s horoscopes for Cottaging Today magazine. I am pleased to say that the omens look good in the coming week regarding this transaction.

As a Leo, you might also like to know that as your governing body, the Sun, resumed forward motion yesterday, you can expect to experience significant movements in your personal life in the near future. However, Uranus will be motionless next week, so you may find that things start to back up, which may be rather uncomfortable. Take heart though: you should find that things start moving again nicely towards the end of the week. Be especially wary of anyone who smells strongly of beef, and your lucky number is 4.266 recurring.

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE

Sent: Sat, 05 Aug 2023 01:07:51 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

Thank you for your email and I am very glad you have made a good contact with the attorney now.

Brother we will hope to fully get everything transfer immediately we receive the document from attorney.

I await your response.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Fri, 04 Aug 2023 15:29:49 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

Mr Gilbert I want to thank you for finding it easy to forgive me. I will wait till Monday then. Immediately I receive the payment from you by Monday everything will be in good mode and the transfer can take place immediately the bank receives the documents.

Do get back to me with the MTCN you use in sending the funds.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: HAPPY WEEKEND

Sent: Sat, 05 Aug 2023 19:19:33 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

How are you and your family doing? I hope you all are doing fine. I just want to wish you and your family a very nice weekend. I will wait to hear from you when you return by Monday.

Once again happy weekend to you and your family members.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van; Ming Yang

Subject: Will MoneyGram be OK?

Sent: Mon, 07 Aug 2023 08:51:26

Dear Mr Van,

I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I have been thinking about the best way to get the 3,000 Euros to you. Unfortunately the nearest Western Union agent turns out to be quite some distance away from me.

However, the local post office is apparently a MoneyGram agent. Would transferring the money via MoneyGram be OK with you? It would be far more convenient for me.

Please let me know as soon as you can.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I asked you on Friday whether this “Ede Evans” person is a man or a woman. Please let me know by return: I might need to know this in order to make the transfer.

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Mon, 07 Aug 2023 04:36:02 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your email notifications. Mr Gilbert, it will be good if you can send it through MoneyGram. Mr Ede Evans is the chamber’s accountant and he is a man as well.

Do get back to me immediately you have effected the post of the money.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van; Ming Yang

Subject: I will transfer the money first thing tomorrow morning

Sent: Mon, 07 Aug 2023 16:21:30

Dear Mr Van,

Thank you for your email. It would have been better if you could have replied to me sooner – it is now too late for me to transfer the money today as the post office is closed – but better late than never, I suppose.

Anyway, now that I know that a MoneyGram transfer will be acceptable, I will pop along to the post office first thing tomorrow morning to transfer the money. I will get back to you tomorrow as soon as I have done so.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You end each of your emails with the phrase “your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers”. You may like to note that I don’t take kindly to my business affairs being delayed by pen-pushing underlings, so if my satisfaction is indeed your priority, it will be better served in the future if you respond to my emails in a more timely fashion.

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Mon, 07 Aug 2023 12:22:33 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

Thank you, I will be waiting to hear from you tomorrow.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van; Ming Yang

Subject: I have transferred the money

Sent: Tue, 08 Aug 2023 09:55:27

Dear Mr Van,

I have just got back from the post office, where I transferred the 3,000 Euros to Mr Evans via MoneyGram.

You are probably aware that we deal with Pounds Sterling in this country rather than in Euros, so I have actually transferred £2,024 – which equates to 3,000 Euros.

The postmistress told me that your henchman would need the following information to collect the money from his nearest MoneyGram agent:

Sender’s name: Gilbert Arnold Murray
MoneyGram reference number: 68372173
Test question: Which planet rules Aquarius?
Answer: Uranus

The postmistress advised me that the money would be available for Mr Evans to collect immediately. Please get back to me as soon as the money is safely in his possession.

Now that I have transferred the 3,000 Euros to you, how soon do you think you will be able to complete all the paperwork regarding the transfer of the $24,500,000 into my bank account?

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Tue, 08 Aug 2023 05:12:33 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that your email was well received in Dean Mark and Philip Chamber. But the accountant have just arrived from the MoneyGram Walmart and they said nothing like that exist.

So it will better if you checked well or contact the office you used in transferring the funds. Do that and get back to us immediately.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: I’m very sorry, I made a mistake

Sent: Tue, 08 Aug 2023 13:55:03

Dear Mr Van,

I am very sorry, Mr Van. I’ve taken another look at MoneyGram receipt I was given at the post office and I can see that I made a mistake with the MoneyGram reference number.

The postmistress has very bad handwriting you see, and I mistook one of the numbers on the form for another. Now that I have examined the form more closely, I can confirm that the correct MoneyGram reference number is actually 68372193, not 68372173 as I told you earlier.

I am very sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you. Please pass on my sincere apologies to Mr Evans.

Anyway, now that you have the correct number, I presume that Mr Evans will be able to collect the money immediately. Please get back to me as soon as he has done so.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You said in your last email that my email “was well received in Dean Mark and Philip Chamber”. Have you changed jobs or something?

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ming Yang

Subject: It won’t be long now before we get our hands on this money

Sent: Tue, 08 Aug 2023 16:41:38

Dear Mr Minge,

How are you, my dear fellow? As you’ll have seen from the email that I forwarded onto you earlier, I transferred that money to Mr Van first thing this morning.

There was a little slip-up at lunchtime when I realised that I’d made a small mistake when I sent Mr Van the MoneyGram reference number, but that’s all sorted out now. I’m expecting Mr Van to get back to me and tell me that his henchman has collected the money any time now.

This is excellent news. It won’t be long now before we get our hands on this money, provided that Mr Van gets his act together and doesn’t drag his heels. Don’t you worry, my friend; I’ll do my best to ensure that he doesn’t take his eye off the ball.

You must be getting very excited now at the prospect of all that money. I know I certainly am.

I must go: I am midway through preparing this month’s horoscopes for Fretwork and Treillage Monthly (incorporating Vivisection Today) magazine. I’ll get back to you as soon as I’ve got any more news.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Ming Yang

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE

Sent: Wed, 09 Aug 2023 03:17:08 +0800 (CST)

Dear Brother Murray,

I saw all your offline email message, I am sorry I have not been able to reply to your email for some time now. I was ill and I have not been able to get to the office. I just went to a business place where I send this email now because my computer has developed a fault.

Brother please make sure you get every properly with the attorney and make sure everything went well because I do not know when I will be able to get back to you on email.

Brother everything is currently on your hands now. Do not let me down.

Regards,

Your brother and partner,

Ming Yang

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Tue, 08 Aug 2023 12:27:45 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Sir,

This is to notify you that your email was well received at Dean Morgan Van Chamber. Mr Gilbert I want you to know that we received same complained immediately Mr Evans went for the pick up of the funds.

So I will advise you send us the payment slip you use in posting the money so we can rectify where the fault is from.

Do get back to me as soon as possible.

Your satisfaction remains our priority at Dean Morgan Van Chambers.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ming Yang

Subject: Don’t worry, I won’t let you down

Sent: Wed, 09 Aug 2023 08:42:50

Dear Mr Minge,

Thank you for your email. I’m sorry to hear that you’ve been ill. Tell me, was it a physical illness, or some form of psychosis? Whichever it was, I do hope that are feeling better and that you go on to make a complete recovery.

If you remember, I did tell you last week that Uranus would be motionless this week and that it could cause you some problems. That’ll be the cause of your illness if you ask me. There, you see: the stars never lie.

You may find that prune juice helps. Just a thought.

I’ve just had an email from Mr Van. Unfortunately it sounds as if his henchman is having some difficulty picking up the money that I transferred to him. I don’t know what the problem is, but don’t you worry, Mr Minge; you leave it to me. I’ll get back to Mr Van immediately and sort it out.

I’ll get back to you as soon as I have more news.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. I completed this month’s horoscopes for Fretwork and Treillage Monthly (incorporating Vivisection Today) magazine last night. As a Leo, sensual Venusian pleasures are scrawled across your horoscope, but whether you have the time to locate them is another matter. Unfortunately, major disappointments and involvement with authority figures loom equally large. You would be well advised to avoid stepping on the cracks in the pavement, and your lucky number is the square root of -1.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: Here’s a copy of the receipt

Sent: Wed, 09 Aug 2023 08:56:33

Dear Mr Van,

I am surprised to hear that your henchman is still having problems collecting the money I transferred to him. The postmistress told me that collecting a MoneyGram transfer was so easy that even a child could manage to do it. I’ve given you all the information you need for Mr Evans to collect the money. Are you sure the man knows what he’s doing?

I’ve attached a copy of the MoneyGram receipt to this email. I am sure that if Mr Evans prints it out and goes back to the MoneyGram agent with it they will be able to sort out the problem.

I have to say, I’m a little concerned at the thought of my money hanging around in the system for this length of time. I’ll be a lot happier when it’s safely in your hands. Please send Mr Evans back to the MoneyGram agent immediately and get back to me as soon as he returns.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: Has Mr Evans collected the money yet?

Sent: Wed, 09 Aug 2023 15:23:19

Dear Mr Van,

What’s the current situation at your end? Has Mr Evans managed to sort out whatever the problem was? Has he collected the money yet?

Please get back to me by return and give me an update on what’s going on at your end: I’m on tenterhooks here, waiting to find out the latest from you.

As an aside, it strikes me that “Evans” isn’t a very Dutch name. It sounds more Welsh to me. Tell me, Mr Van, is your sidekick Welsh by any chance? It’d explain a lot if he is. Come to think of it, the village steeplejack is called Evans too. He’s a short chap, with a loping gait and with his eyes a bit too close together. Runs a company called “Evans Above”. I don’t suppose he could be related to your Mr Evans?

Anyway, get back to me as soon as you can with an update on the current situation. I’ll be waiting to hear from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Wed, 09 Aug 2023 14:38:53 -0700 (PDT)

Attn: Mr Gilbert Murray,

This is to notify you that Mr Evans could not pick the money because they said the number does not exist. This is why we use Western Union for our fee receivers.

So it will be good if you can get the money sent through Western Union. It is your will to act fast about it because that we create the time we will start the preparation of the document.

Do get back to me immediately you have made the payment through Western Union.

Barrister Morgan Van

Dean Morgan Van Chambers

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: What do you mean, “the number does not exist”?

Sent: Thu, 10 Aug 2023 08:52:11

Dear Mr Van,

What do you mean, “the number does not exist”? Of course the number exists. You’ve seen a copy of the receipt yourself.

What the devil is Mr Evans playing at? Are you sure this man is competent?

I don’t like the sound of this at all, Mr Van. If what you’re saying is right, over two thousand pounds of my money is seemingly lost in the MoneyGram system.

I’m going straight down to the post office to find out what the problem is. I’ll get back to you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: Problem solved

Sent: Thu, 10 Aug 2023 10:23:41

Dear Mr Van,

Good news, Mr Van. I’ve been back to the post office and I’ve managed to find out what the problem is.

I explained to the postmistress that your local MoneyGram agent hadn’t been able to locate my transfer. The postmistress explained to me that MoneyGram are currently in the middle of upgrading their computer hardware in the UK. This has apparently resulted in what she called “internet connectivity” problems, and apparently mine is not the only transfer to have gone missing over the past ten days or so. What this means is that the transfer is definitely in the MoneyGram system – the postmistress showed it to me on her own computer – but it is not showing up on your local MoneyGram agent’s computer because of these “internet connectivity” problems.

However, the postmistress explained that there’s a simple solution to this. She told me exactly what your local MoneyGram agent needs to do in order to locate my transfer on their computer and gain access to the money. Apparently all they need to do is to initiate procedure MG-RV8 on their computer system, entering the reference number of the transfer that I gave to you. This will apparently give your local MoneyGram agent access to all transfers that have got “stuck” in the system, and will mean that Mr Evans will be able to collect the money there and then.

The postmistress was rather surprised that the MoneyGram agent Mr Evans visited hadn’t initiated procedure MG-RV8 already: apparently it is standard procedure for MoneyGram agents when things like this happen. She even showed me the procedure in her MoneyGram Procedures Handbook. She said to me that if your local agent hasn’t heard of procedure MG-RV8, they probably don’t know their job very well and that they could probably benefit from some more training.

Perhaps Mr Evans ought to suggest this to the MoneyGram agent when he goes back to collect the money. After all, their ignorance of their own procedures has wasted not only your time and Mr Evans’ time, but – more importantly – mine as well.

Anyway, regardless of the problems Mr Evans has been having over the past couple of days, I’m glad we’ve got it all sorted out now so that he’ll be able to collect the money: all he needs to do is to go back to the MoneyGram agent and ask them to initiate procedure MG-RV8.

Please get back to me as soon as Mr Evans has been back to the MoneyGram agent to let me know that the money is safely in your possession. I will be waiting to hear from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: FROM DEAN MORGAN VAN CHAMBERS

Sent: Thu, 10 Aug 2023 13:23:52 -0700 (PDT)

https://www.scambuster419.co.uk/astrologer.htm

You are just being a fool.

I am not involved in your scam.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: So, the penny has finally dropped

Sent: Fri, 11 Aug 2023 08:54:02

Dear “Mr Van”,

So, you’ve finally cottoned on to the fact that I’ve been playing you like a fiddle for the past few weeks. I see you’ve found my website. I do hope you found it amusing. Trust me, thousands of people all around the world have been laughing themselves silly reading about your pathetic attempts to scam money out of me.

If anyone’s being a fool here, “Mr Van”, I’m afraid it’s you, not me. I imagine it must have been rather embarrassing for you, turning up at your local MoneyGram agent time after time and being sent away empty-handed again and again. I hope it was suitably humiliating. I would love to have been a fly on the wall when you turned up with the forged receipt and asked the MoneyGram agent to initiate procedure MG-RV8.

Tell me, “Mr Van”, have you ever considered going out and getting a proper job, rather than making a living out of stealing money from innocent people? Given your obvious lack of intelligence, I realise that you wouldn’t be able to earn all that much, but at least you would be able to sleep at night with a clear conscience.

Maybe when you end up in prison – which is undoubtedly where you will end up – you’ll be able to learn a trade which will enable you to get a proper job when you’re finally released. You may even end up becoming a valuable and useful member of society – rather than the criminal scum that you are at the moment.

Wait for that knock on the door, “Mr Van”. With the mobile telephone tracking technology that’s now in use, It won’t be long coming.

Your humiliation remains our priority at scambuster419.co.uk,

“Gilbert Murray”

PS. It feels appropriate to sign off with a final horoscope. As an Aquarian, the current alignment between Saturn and the Sun means that you will soon be having a brush with the authorities. I hope you like confined spaces, prison food and being raped by large, violent men in the showers, because these are all on the horizon for you. Try to avoid being such a despicable character in the future. Oh, and your unlucky number is 419.

From: Barrister Morgan Van

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: So, the penny has finally dropped

Sent: Fri, 11 Aug 2023 12:54:26 -0700 (PDT)

I knew you were a fool from the beginning too. I did not go to any MoneyGram office I just track it on net and it was not there.

Go to hell.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Barrister Morgan Van

Subject: You’ve made a complete fool of yourself

Sent: Fri, 11 Aug 2023 21:53:33

Dear “Mr Van”,

“I did not go to any MoneyGram office I just track it on net and it was not there”. Rubbish. If there’s a grain of truth in that statement then I’m a Dutchman.

It must have been so embarrassing for you when the MoneyGram people kept on turning you away empty-handed. You must have felt like a complete fool. Mind you, given the outstandingly low level of intelligence and common sense you’ve shown in this business from the start, you should be used to that.

You’ve made a complete fool of yourself, and you know it. And the best thing about it is that thousands of people around the world have watched you do it.

It’s been nice toying with you, “Mr Van”. But now that we’ve had our fun at your expense, you can go and crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out of in the first place.

Your humiliation remains our priority at scambuster419.co.uk,

“Gilbert Murray”