Thank you for your email. Despite your enthusiastic support for the terrible crime I committed yesterday at your suggestion, I cannot help but feel that I have done something deeply wrong. Once again, I did not sleep at all last night, but sat awake all night in fear of the consequences of our actions.

At one point I thought I saw a bloody sledgehammer suspended in the air in front of my eyes. “Is this a sledgehammer I see before me?”, I thought in horror. I think I must have been hallucinating from fear and lack of sleep. Also, I cannot seem to get my hands clean. They are soiled with Madame Cholet’s blood, and I cannot wash it off.

All talk is of Madame Cholet’s disappearance this morning. Her husband telephoned Saint Bunty’s this morning to find out if anyone knew where she was. The poor man is at his wit’s end, and so are their two children. I think he is going to call the police later today if she does not turn up. Which of course, as we know, she will not.

Following Madame Cholet’s disappearance, I have therefore assumed the role of Director of Saint Bunty’s. However, my elevation to this role does not provide me with any pleasure. Miss Macbeth, who is now my secretary, has noticed my distracted manner, and keeps asking me what is wrong. I cannot stop shaking and sweating. I have told her that I am just worried about Madame Cholet. Which, in a way, is the truth.

Oh, Mr Joe, I fear that we have made a terrible mistake! Why on earth did you urge me on to commit such a heinous crime? I do not think I will ever be able to sleep again. I only hope that you are able to deal with your guilty conscience more easily than I can, my dear friend.

At least I now have access to what little remains of Saint Bunty’s funds, and will be able to get the processing fee to you in full. However, I am afraid that in my distracted state, I have lost the letter from the bank that detailed how to send the fee to them. Could you please remind me of the details?

Please respond as soon as you possibly can. I want this terrible business over and done with as soon as possible.

I must go and wash my hands again. I swear I can still see a damned spot of blood which I simply cannot wash out.

Yours guiltily,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Bank Approval and Account Closure Application Documents

Sent: Wed, 03 Dec 2023 06:38:59 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your mail.

Please try to pull yourself together to avoid your giving yourself away.

Your consolation should be that you did what you HAD to do, to save the fate of hundreds of the inmates at the orphanage. Posterity would certainly be kind to you because you will be the reason that will make good the future of the orphans.

The future President of the UK could come from the present crop of orphans in Saint Bunty’s. This should be your consolation.

As for me, I do feel guilty too, but what we have to gain is enough to spur us on.

You will find the bank’s letter with instructions on how you should send the fee to them. I will also surf the internet to see if I could provide any more assistance to you by sending you information on how you could contact the Western Union Money Transfer agent nearest to you.

Expect the information, if I find one on the internet now when I surf.

Meanwhile, I will expect that you should be able to send the receipt of the fee remittance to me before the end of today or early tomorrow morning so that armed with that, I could go to submit the documents at the bank for the concluding aspects of the transaction to ensure that your indicated account receives the transfer by early next week.

Best regards,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: INFORMATION

Sent: Wed, 03 Dec 2023 06:54:05 -0800 (PST)

DEAR GILBERT,

I WAS LUCKY TO GET THE CONTACT INFORMATION OF THE MAJOR AGENT OF WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER IN THE UK, FROM THE INTERNET RIGHT NOW.

WHAT YOU SHOULD DO RIGHT AWAY, IS TO CONTACT THE AGENT AND ASK FROM THEM THE NEAREST SUB AGENT OF WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER IN YOUR LOCALITY.

FROM THE LETTER OF THE BANK, I COULD SEE THAT THE BANK WANTS YOU TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH THIS MEANS IN THE NAME OF VICTOR C OBIALOR.

I AM SURE THAT EVERY OTHER INFORMATION YOU SHOULD NEED TO SEND THE MONEY TO THE BANK CORRECTLY, SHOULD BE GIVEN TO YOU BY YOUR LOCAL AGENT WHEN YOU CONTACT THEM.

IT IS HOWEVER ABSOLUTELY IMPORTANT THAT YOU AVOID GIVING OUT ANY CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION CONCERNING OUR TRANSACTION TO THE AGENT. JUST BE ON YOUR GUARD SO THAT THE AGENT DOES NOT BECOME NOSY. I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN. ALREADY, YOU KNOW WHAT COMMITMENTS YOU AND I HAVE MADE TO ENSURE THAT WE SUCCEED. SO, DO NOT ALLOW ANY THIRD PARTY TO PUT US OFF OUR TRACK.

LET ME KNOW HOW YOU FARE, SOON.

VINCENT

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Thank you for the information

Sent: Wed, 03 Dec 2023 16:07:09

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for sending me all that useful information on Western Union. I have contacted the agent as you suggested and they have given me the name and address of my nearest agent – there is one in Lincoln, not far away. I will go into town first thing tomorrow morning and pay the processing fee to the bank. Don’t worry about me giving out confidential information. I won’t tell the agent anything... like the fact that I have murdered someone to gain access to money.

Oh my god, what was I thinking of?

I am in a terrible state, my friend. I cannot stop shaking and sweating with the fear of being discovered. I swear I can feel icy hands on my shoulders, yet when I turn around there is nobody there. And I simply cannot get my hands clean. I must have scrubbed them thirty or forty times so far today – my hands are red raw – but they are still stained with Madame Cholet’s blood. If the police come to question me, they will be sure to see the damned spot and then they will know what I have done. What am I to do? I cannot stop shaking and sweating with the fear of being discovered.

I must go and wash my hands again. I will scrub harder. Out, damned spot! I will get rid of the stain of blood once and for all.

Yours worriedly,

Gilbert Murray

PS. Is there something wrong with your computer keyboard? The CAPS LOCK key appears to be stuck on.

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Thank you for the information

Sent: Wed, 03 Dec 2023 23:00:03 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your email and the information that you will send the money to the bank today and email me the receipt so that I could get the documents to the bank for our process to be quickly concluded.

I understand how you feel, but I would advise that since the deed is already done, you should put everything behind you and look ahead for the better life soon for me, you and the orphans of Saint Bunty’s.

My computer keyboard is OK.

I will be waiting to receive the fee remittance receipt from you this morning, before noon so that we can get the real thing going.

Thank you also for your assurance that you will not spill the milk. Of course, this makes both of us.

Be reassured that both of us share the guilt for the blood of Madame Cholet, but this is for our general good. In literature, even Brutus had to be part of the conspiracy that got rid of Caeser, for the general good of the Roman Empire.

History and prosperity would surely vindicate you and me.

I will keep you posted of developments after I receive the receipt from you and submit everything to the bank today.

Pull yourself together and be cool, calm and collected. Don’t give yourself away.

It is well!

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I have transferred the money

Sent: Thu, 04 Dec 2023 09:54:12

Dear Mr Joe,

Another night with practically no sleep. I fell into a fitful slumber at around 2am, but as soon as I was asleep, I saw a ghostly vision of Madame Cholet in the dark, blood pouring from her battered face. She was pointing straight at me with an accusing finger, shrieking “You are going to hell, Gilbert Murray! You will both burn in hell for what you have done, you and your evil African partner!”

I woke up screaming, with the bed drenched in sweat. After that, I did not dare to close my eyes, for as soon as I did so, the same gory vision appeared to me. Now, I barely dare to blink.

I am finding it difficult to keep this from Elizabeth. She is extremely worried about me and fears that I may be ailing for something. But I cannot tell her the truth. Or should I? Perhaps I should tell her the whole story. I don’t know what I should do.

Anyway, to business. I drove into town first thing this morning and withdrew £6,650 from Saint Bunty’s bank account – which is almost empty now – as soon as the bank opened. The cashier asked me if everything was alright – I don’t think I look my best at the moment after three stressful days and nights without any sleep – but don’t worry, I didn’t tell her a thing about the murder.

I then went straight to the local Western Union office and transferred the money to the bank. Once again, the agent asked me if I was alright, but I fobbed her off. I found it rather difficult to fill in the form as my hands are now shaking so badly. I hope things are alright – she said she was having some problems with their computer network.

When I arrived here at Saint Bunty’s, I found to my horror that the police have turned up, and that they are questioning everybody over Madame Cholet’s disappearance. They will be interviewing me later today. What am I going to do? I can barely sit still, I am shaking so much. And even worse, I still cannot wash the blood from my hands!

I think I am about to have a nervous breakdown. Please Mr Joe, tell me that everything is going to be alright. I have just transferred practically all of Saint Bunty’s remaining money to your bank, the police are here waiting to question me about a murder I have committed, and I dare not close my eyes for fear of seeing the accusing spectre of Madame Cholet damning us both to an eternity in hell!

I must go and wash my hands again. Please contact me as soon as you hear that the bank has collected the money successfully. Saint Bunty’s is in desperate need of this cash injection as soon as possible.

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: EVERYTHING WILL BE OK. SEND RECEIPT BY EMAIL IMMEDIATELY!

Sent: Thu, 04 Dec 2023 06:05:30 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your email and the information that you have transferred the money.

Please urgently scan and send as attachment to me by email immediately, the receipt issued to you by the Western Union agent from where you sent the money.

After reading your email, I rushed to the bank with the other documents to submit everything, and I just returned, disappointed.

The reason is that I need to submit everything together, including the receipt confirming that you have sent the money. Without this, the bank’s protocol officer in whose name you sent the money (Mr Victor C Obialor), cannot clear the money, and without this happening, the operation will be stalemated.

Please, please as a matter of urgency, send the receipt to me the same way you sent the account closure application previously. This is absolutely important for our process to continue and succeed soon as both of us desire.

Concerning the situation at Saint Bunty’s, I have noted that you will be interviewed by the police later today. Ensure that you explain to them that your present mood is a result of the shock you had when it became apparent that Mrs.Cholet is missing. As somebody you had worked closely with over the years, the police would naturally believe you.

To business again, please be reassured, my brother, that everything will be OK! What is very important right now, is the receipt of the fee. If I could get this from you today before the close of work, I will still be able to submit the documents and surely, by tomorrow I will be able to send you a progress report that would gladden your heart.

Once again, please be strong in your heart and keep a neutral countenance when you talk to the police. As for Elizabeth, please do not tell her about anything yet, including the business and the murder. You observed earlier that she could be frantic, I believe she could become a worse case, if you tell her the truth.

Anxiously expecting the receipt. I wish I could call you on telephone. It is faster and results could be achieved quicker with the telephone.

Be OK, my brother. Saint Bunty’s will be OK financially very soon.

Love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: The receipt

Sent: Thu, 04 Dec 2023 14:23:32

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. I was disturbed to read that the bank had not yet collected the money. Unfortunately, there is no way I can send you the receipt at the moment – the police are still crawling all over Saint Bunty’s, and they have set up an incident room in the office containing Saint Bunty’s only scanner. I simply do not dare to go in there and scan in the receipt – they have started examining Saint Bunty’s records for any evidence that may give a clue to the whereabouts of Madame Cholet, so I am keeping the receipt well away from them. I don’t want to give away any details of this business.

The Western Union agent told me this morning that Mr Obialor would be able to collect the money without a copy of the receipt. I have used the test question and answer suggested by the bank, and apparently Mr Obialor simply has to state my name when he goes to his own Western Union agent. I do so hope that he will be able to collect the money quickly.

I was interviewed by the police this morning over the disappearance of Madame Cholet. I think my distracted state must have made them suspicious – I certainly got the impression that they knew more than they said they did. And I swear they kept looking at my hands, which I still have not been able to scrub clean. Midway through the interview I also developed a pronounced twitch, which I am sure made me look even more guilty than I actually feel.

However, I managed to get through the interview without mentioning anything to do with our business or Madame Cholet’s brutal murder. They are now searching the entire buildings and the grounds. Apparently they are bringing in a forensics team to search for clues as well – this thought worries me deeply. I hope I scrubbed out the boiler room sufficiently well.

More problems. Due to our financial troubles, I did not pay our food supplier’s invoice last month. He telephoned this morning and said that unless he receives payment by next Friday, he will not deliver any food next week to Saint Bunty’s. If we cannot complete this transaction by then, the orphans will starve! Please tell Mr Obialor to collect the money and get things moving as soon as possible. My fate, and the fate of all the poor little orphans, is now in your hands!

Hands, hands… I must wash my hands again and get rid of this damned spot! I don’t think I can cope with everything that is going on. I am turning into a nervous wreck.

Yours frantically,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: What is going on?

Sent: Thu, 04 Dec 2023 16:47:10

Dear Mr Joe,

What is going on? Don’t keep me in the dark like this! Has Mr Obialor collected the money yet? When will the bank transfer the $15 million into Saint Bunty’s bank account? Things are getting desperate here Mr Joe, and I am afraid that I will not be able to cope with things for much longer. The pressure is simply getting too much for me to bear.

I drifted off to sleep at my desk in the middle of the afternoon, and yet again straight away I saw the bloodied corpse of Madame Cholet pointing an accusing finger at me and shrieking that you and I are going to burn in eternal hell! I woke up with a scream, causing Miss Macbeth and a policeman to rush into my office, to find me sweating profusely and shaking uncontrollably.

Oh, Mr Joe, I have always tried to be a good man. I may have had my faults, but I have never done anything as evil, as wicked, as obscene, as the murder you encouraged me to carry out! I do not know if I can live with myself. I really do not know. Maybe I should end it all. That would make things easier. Maybe I should end it all…

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: (MTCN) CONTROL NEEDED URGENTLY/NO CAUSE FOR ALARM, BE HAPPY NOW!

Sent: Thu, 04 Dec 2023 10:22:08 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your two emails. I was away again to the bank to know if the bank has received the money but the situation is still the same because the agent here, according to the bank, in addition to your name and other details, would need the Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) to pay out the money to Mr Obialor.

Please send this to me right now after you read this email so that first thing tomorrow morning, I will go and give the number to the bank.

The bank explained to me that the MTCN is a number peculiar to each Western Union transfer, and with this, it will be easy to clear the money you sent.

As for the receipt, it is still important that you scan and email it to me so that I could submit it to the bank because, I understand that it will be attached to your file for the final approvals, prior to the transfer to your indicated account which the bank confirmed to me would be effected as soon the necessary final processes are concluded, possibly by tomorrow after they clear the money you sent.

Please be assured that if the bank could receive the money after you send the MTCN and I give same to them, the orphanage will have enough money to pay the food supplier and even stock more and more food that will last any length of time if it is well preserved.

My brother, I want you to know that I share your present mood of despair. I advise however that you should keep holding on. It is well. Do not give yourself away to the police, nor anybody. Keep a strong spirit and be yourself.

I am sure that everything would be OK by tomorrow, and the bank should send out the transfer information of the full amount of the $15,000,000 to you before the end of tomorrow.

Again, do not despair. I am with you in spirit, and I will never desert you.

Please do not end everything as you felt and wrote in your email. It will make matters worse if you do.

Always remember that you have a brother, a friend, and a partner in progress in me.

Expecting the Money Transfer Control Number (MTCN) and the receipt, as soon as you are able to scan and email it to me.

Also expect a gladdening progress report about our business and the future of the orphanage, before the end of tomorrow.

Much much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I am in the depths of despair

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 08:54:21

Dear Mr Joe,

Another night with no sleep. Another night plagued by the bloody phantom of Madame Cholet, damning you and I to an eternity in hell as a result of our wickedness. Another day at Saint Bunty’s, answering police questions, telling lies, covering up vile murder. I cannot live like this. I do not know if I can live with myself.

I cannot believe this Obialor fellow has not collected the money yet. What is his problem? Can you not impress on him the gravity of my situation?

The Western Union control number you need is 3752967354. But enough of all this palaver about needing the receipt. I have already told you, I cannot scan it in as the police have set up their incident room in the room containing the scanner. Surely your own Western Union office will give Obialor a receipt when he collects the money anyway.

Things are getting desperate. Saint Bunty’s bank account is virtually empty. I need action now. If I do not hear from you by the end of today that this Obialor has collected the money from Western Union and that the $15 million is on its way into Saint Bunty’s bank account, I am going to go into town, cancel the money transfer, and put the money on a horse. At least then I will have some chance of instant cash. This transaction of yours is seeming to take forever.

And if the horse falls, I may as well just kill myself. I do not think I can live with the knowledge of what I have done.

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Expect The God News Before The End of Today!

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 04:05:01 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

I have just come from the bank to check if you have written any more emails and finding none, I am going back to the bank right now again to wait on them for the transfer information of the $15,000,000 to your indicated account.

I had earlier taken the Western Union control number to them and they confirmed what you said in your email to me, that the Western Union agent here should issue a receipt which will suffice.

I will advise that you be patient and wait for further information from me. If you have sent the money as you said, a sure that by the time I get back to the bank in a few minutes after sending you this email, Mr Obialor should have come back from clearing the money at the agent’s office here and I assure you that I will remain in the bank until I receive the good news of the transfer and pass on the same information to you by email, as usual.

In fact, I will scan any documents of the transfer to your indicated account, I receive from the bank and email same to you.

Note that I am as anxious as you are for our process to be quickly concluded. You should however remember that I do not work in the bank, so I have to wait on them to carry out their own processes at their own pace.

It should be enough for you to believe that I will send you the transfer information today, as soon as it is carried out.

Expect the information.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: This is excellent news

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 12:26:47

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. I am overjoyed to hear that things are progressing at last. I am waiting here on the edge of my seat in anticipation – please get back to me as soon as you know when I can expect the $15 million to be deposited in Saint Bunty’s bank account.

Yours in eager anticipation,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: RESPONSE NEEDED VERY VERY URGENT

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 06:52:52 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

How are you today and how is your family? I sincerely hope that you are fine.

I am writing to let you know that the bank protocol officer Mr Victor C Obialor just returned from the Western Union office to inform us that there is no transaction and neither the control number nor the name of sender could be confirmed in the Western Union computer system.

Could you please check from your agent to find out exactly what the problem is and correct it immediately so that Mr Victor C Obialor can collect the money and the processing of the application concluded?

Please note that delay can be very dangerous in any transaction particularly in transaction of this magnitude. Also note that you should split the money into 2 places in the same name. This is because of government restrictions on foreign exchange transactions.

Please act immediately so that this transaction can be concluded without further delay.

Expecting your urgent response.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Sorry for the mix-up

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 15:09:37

Dear Mr Joe,

I was unpleasantly surprised to receive your email, and to hear that Mr Obialor was unable to access the money. I got straight on the telephone to my local Western Union agent and explained the problem to them. The agent apologised profusely, and told me that they had experienced a number of similar problems in the past week due to technical faults in the Western Union computer network.

The agent checked her computer system and found that there was indeed a fault with the money transfer – it had not gone through, but had got “stuck” in the system. She rectified the fault immediately, and very kindly offered to refund the fee I had to pay her for making the money transfer, to make up for my inconvenience.

The agent assured me that Mr Obialor will now be able to collect the money without any problems. To be on the safe side, she also gave me a telephone number that your local Western Union agent should call if they still have problems with this transfer. This should not be necessary, but if your Western Union agent still encounters problems, please get them to call +44 (0)20 74088091 (this is a London number) and give full details of the money transfer, including Mr Obialor’s name and address. They should then be able to sort everything out.

Once more, please accept my apologies for any inconvenience this may have caused you. I trust that Mr Obialor will be able to return to the Western Union office as soon as possible to collect the money. I am desperate to get things moving as soon as possible.

Please contact me as soon as the money is in the bank’s possession. Things are getting critical here and I am going out of my mind with worry.

Gilbert Murray

The telephone number given is that of the US Secret Service within the US Embassy in London. The US Secret Service is actively trying to stamp out advance fee fraud.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: What is going on at your end?

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 17:01:39

Dear Mr Joe,

What on earth is going on at your end? Has Mr Obialor collected the money from the Western Union office yet or not? When can I expect the $15 million to be transferred into Saint Bunty’s account? You must keep me informed as to what is going on.

Things are getting desperate here. The police are still crawling all over the place, interviewing the orphans and looking for clues that might lead them to Madame Cholet, the orphanage has run out of money and is running out of food, and I am feel like I am losing my mind.

Little orphan Annie came to me again today and asked for further reassurance that Father Christmas was going to visit the orphanage this year: she is still afraid that Father Christmas will not call and leave any presents. If this transaction is not completed very soon, a lack of presents will be the least of her worries.

Please, Mr Joe, you must tell me what is going on. If that Obialor chap hasn’t got back to the Western Union office yet, tell him to shake a leg, for god’s sake. The fate of Saint Bunty’s rests on your shoulders, Mr Joe. Do not let down all the little orphan boys and girls.

I need results, and I need them quickly. If Obialor and the rest of his cronies at the bank cannot get their act together, I will have to cancel the money transfer and reconsider my options. Given all the police action around here at the moment, a one-way ticket to Brazil sounds particularly appealing right now.

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Situation Report: Everything Will Be OK By Tomorrow!

Sent: Fri, 05 Dec 2023 14:36:38 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your emails. I advise you to try your best to be fine. Everything will be OK by tomorrow.

Thanks also for the correction your agent has made to the Western Union transfer you sent to the bank, after realising that the original mistake was hers.

Please note that at the time I received your email explaining the mistake and correction, it was already gone past the time the bank could clear the money from the local agent here. Maybe, it is important to inform you that the Western Union service here is not 24 hours, as I suppose it might be in the UK.

However, the bank has assured me that since they work a half day on Saturdays, the money would be cleared tomorrow morning and necessary actions taken to ensure that the transfer of the $15,000,000 is effected to your indicated account before noon on Monday.

As I earlier assured you, I will scan and email the transfer information to you same Monday, as soon as I receive the document to this effect from the bank.

As for Little Annie and all the remaining orphans in Saint Bunty’s, please reassure them that Father Christmas WILL surely come to Saint Bunty’s this Yuletide, and it will be marvellous for all of them.

I want to express my personal and sincere appreciation to you, for all your efforts so far to see that our process is conclusively concluded.

The bank is also under pressure to ensure that everything is OK. This is because they treat every such inheritance claim passionately. Be assured again and again that, positive results will be communicated to you soonest.

I am also personally gratified that come the early days of the next week, you WOULD smile to the bank to confirm the transfer of the $15,000,000 to your indicated account.

I will again advise that your local Western Union agent should check again first thing tomorrow morning to be sure that there are no more discrepancies, to make assurance double sure that Mr Obialor of the bank here and the bank would have no more difficulties in clearing the money you sent.

I will keep you informed of developments.

Happy night rest.

Much much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Please keep me informed of developments

Sent: Sat, 06 Dec 2023 09:39:51

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email and for your reassurance that Mr Obialor will collect the money from his Western Union agent today. This is excellent news. Unless we can get that $15 million into Saint Bunty’s bank account early next week, we will be in dire straits. I might even have to consider selling some of the younger orphans over the internet again. We did try that once before, but it wasn’t very successful. People kept on sending them back and asking for refunds if they were naughty.

Yet another sleepless night, plagued by the shrieking bloody spectre of Madame Cholet whenever I close my eyes. Elizabeth is extremely worried about me now. I am a physical and mental wreck. This whole business has ruined me. Tell me, are you able to sleep at night, with the knowledge of the wicked deeds we have carried out during this transaction?

Thankfully I have managed to keep the police off the scent, but it has not been easy. I do not know how much longer I can keep up this pretence with them.

Please let me know as soon as Mr Obialor has collected the money.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Has the bank collected the money?

Sent: Sat, 06 Dec 2023 17:07:32

Dear Mr Joe,

What is going on? Has the bank collected the money? I have been waiting for an email from you all day. Please do not keep me in suspense. All the little orphans are depending on you.

I am on tenterhooks - email me as soon as you can, please my dear friend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Has the bank collected the money? Not Yet!

Sent: Sat, 06 Dec 2023 12:10:48 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your emails. I was unable to mail you since because of the suspense I was facing and my desire to communicate the good news to you. In fact, when it became apparent that no progress would be made today, I retired to my home to take some nap, in order to be in the right mood before I write to you. I was wretched when it became obvious that I couldn’t communicate the good news to you today.

I am happy that you have been able to keep the law (police) out of the scene. This is important for us to be able to settle down and push the transaction through.

The bank is yet to collect the money. The good news however, is that the bank is as much under pressure as you and I are.

Today was another day of anguish. This is because according to the bank, the other offices of the Western Union agent don’t work on Saturdays. It is only the head office that works on Saturdays. Unfortunately, our case was referred to be attended to on Monday.

I have therefore given the telephone number of your agent to the bank and the bank gave me a promise that if Mr Obialor is still unable to collect the money when he arrives at the agent’s office on Monday, he will give the number to the local agent here and request him to call your agent to resolve the problem.

Another promise the bank made to me today is that as soon as they are able to clear the money, the process would be concluded within two hours and the $15,000,000 will be on its way to your indicated account.

I hope to give you the good news before 2.00pm on Monday.

Do have a nice weekend.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I await your good news

Sent: Sun, 07 Dec 2023 23:03:22

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. Although I am disappointed that Mr Obialor has not been able to collect the money from his Western Union agent yet, I am pleased to hear that he will be collecting it tomorrow.

Please inform me as soon as you hear that Mr Obialor has the money in his hands. If Saint Bunty’s does not receive the money this week, we will have to throw the poor little orphans out on the streets.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: OFF TO THE BANK!

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 00:35:09 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

I know your weekend must have been filled with anxiety like mine.

Thanks for your email. I am off to the bank right now and I hope to communicate the good news to you as soon as the transfer is on its way to your indicated account.

Meanwhile, as I will be in the bank until I confirm that the money you sent has been collected. I want to advise you to also keep a tab on your own Western Union agent to ensure that he is on the ground to attend to the agent here when he calls him.

This is because, as at the last count, report from the bank here was that the transaction was yet to reflect in the computer of the local agent here. If this remains the situation this morning, then the last option would be your suggestion that the local agent here calls your agent on the number you indicated.

Expecting that everything will go well let us hope for the best today.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I am praying for a quick conclusion to this transaction

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 09:03:51

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. My weekend was indeed full of anxiety. I still have not slept a wink since I murdered Madame Cholet, and am now shaking almost uncontrollably.

I fear that my lack of sleep is also causing me to hallucinate in my waking hours – not only do I see the spectre of Madame Cholet when I close my eyes, I have now seen her regularly out of the corner of my eye while I am awake. Is it merely the lack of sleep, or is the ghost of Madame Cholet haunting me? I am afraid, Mr Joe. Very afraid. And I still cannot wash the damned spot of blood from my hands.

The police are back here at Saint Bunty’s to continue their investigation. I am to be interviewed again later today, unfortunately. I hope I can keep it together and maintain the tissue of lies that I have been telling them so far. But I fear it will not be long before I crack.

Time is now of the essence, Mr Joe. The orphanage is running out of food. We need this money by the end of the week without fail. The fate of the orphans is now in your more than capable hands.

Incidentally, the telephone number given me by the Western Union agent is not that of my local agent; apparently it is the number of their Headquarters in London. I checked again with the agent first thing this morning, and the transaction is definitely in their system. She said that there were some remaining internet connectivity problems in areas of their network which could cause the transaction not to appear on the agent’s screen. However, she assured me that if this was the case, a call to the London Headquarters would sort out any problems within a matter of minutes.

I look forward to hearing the good news.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: VERY VERY URGENT: TAKE ADVISED ACTION IMMEDIATELY!

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 07:27:33 -0800 (PST)

Gilbert,

Again, and again, you have made me look foolish before the executive officers of EcoBank International Plc.

The protocol officer of the bank, Mr Obialor, went to the local Western Union agent again without any results. The verdict continues to be that there is no such transaction in their system.

I had been in the bank since morning, but after his first unsuccessful visit at the agent’s office, and following your continued emails which gave me the confidence that you are saying the truth, especially considering the circumstances under which you have been for some days now, I decided to accompany him to the agent’s office. The result was the same!

I personally insisted to the local agent to call the number you indicated and he did, but the telephone was, according to him, on answering machine and directed him to call another given number. The local agent also confirmed as you did in your email that the number was not that of the agent in Lincoln. He gave me the Lincoln agents’ numbers as 2542888 and 2512652 for the two respective agents in Lincoln.

In fact, as a result of these developments, the bank’s protocol officer, Mr Obialor, who felt highly let down, pronounced that you did not send any money at all and that you might have been playing games. I realised that this impression, if he communicated same to his bank’s management, could be very dangerous for our transaction. Therefore, I insisted to him that I will make further inquiries through the local agent.

On my further inquiry, the local agent asked me to make the following suggestions to you:

To split the transaction into two and send from your local agent, and scan and send the receipt containing the control number as evidence.
To withdraw the money from your local agent since their internet network is unreliable and split the amount and send the money in two transactions from another agent whose connection is sufficiently linked up so that the transactions would reflect on the screen of the local agent here.

The idea to split the money into two and send is to ensure that the transaction is not affected by prevailing foreign exchange legislation. The bank has never mentioned this as a possible problem, but the agent’s explanations to me imply this. It could therefore be possible that the fact that you sent the money as a single transaction, might be the problem, hence the wisdom in the advice of the local agent here that you split it and send as two transactions with the same information given to you by the bank. The only difference would be in the control number, as according to him, no two transactions have the same control number.

Note that, personally, I still have confidence in you and believe that you actually sent the money. But, in the name of God, if you know that all what you have been telling me are cooked up stories, I advise that you come open, and let me know the truth. In fact, even as I write to you right now, I believe strongly in my heart, that you are serious and mean everything you have told me about your predicaments and the present state of Saint Bunty’s. If however, the situation and your stories mean otherwise, this would be most unfortunate and very unfair to me and the bank.

Let me have the control numbers of the transaction which you will split into two and send after you read this email. It is also important that you send the receipts to me. As soon as I have these, we could be sure that Saint Bunty’s would have enough money, say, by the end of Wednesday, to stock as much food as it deems necessary.

Anxiously awaiting your quick corrective action for us to succeed as fast as we desire.

Yours truly,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I was shocked to read your email

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 15:56:48

Dear Mr Joe,

I have just read your email. I am shocked and offended that Mr Obialor seems to be doubting my word. Deeply shocked, and deeply offended. I cannot believe that this man is blaming ME for Western Union’s technical difficulties. I have worked tirelessly to ensure that this transaction works for both of us, and it appals me that this mere bank official has the temerity to doubt my word. I am an Englishman – my word is my bond.

However, I can appreciate that this has put you in a difficult position, and for that I offer you my most sincere apologies.

I will do exactly as you say. I will go into town right now, cancel the existing money transfer and make two, smaller transfers. I will then send you the control numbers of both transactions, and send you the receipts as well. It may be difficult to get access to the scanner, but by god, it seems that I will just have to find a way. I need this transaction to succeed as soon as possible, and these delays are terrifying me – the consequences could be disastrous.

I was interviewed again by the police today. I think they suspect something. I think my distracted manner and constant shaking must have made them suspicious. This time I was interviewed by two police officers at the same time. They interviewed me for over two hours without a break and refused me even a glass of water. They asked me long and detailed questions about my relationship with Madame Cholet, and also about the finances of Saint Bunty’s. They are planning to investigate the finances this very week! This is dreadful news – now that I have transferred the processing fee over to the bank, Saint Bunty’s bank account is completely empty!

Worse still, I kept on glimpsing a bloody apparition of Madame Cholet out of the corner of my eye. She was standing at the side of the interview table, pointing at me and shrieking “He did it! He murdered me and dumped my body in the marsh! Him and his wicked African friend are to blame! They will both burn in hell!” Thankfully, neither of the officers seemed able to see the ghost, although they did ask me why I kept on flinching away from the side of the table. I do wish this apparition would go away and leave me alone – it seems to be shadowing me wherever I go. I see it more and more often now in my waking hours. Soon I fear that it will be with me all the time.

However, despite all this, I think you would have been proud of me, Mr Joe. I did not give anything away. I am sure that the police are still suspicious, but I did not mention anything about the murder, or about our transaction, even when one of the policemen threatened to slam my testicles in the drawer of the desk.

I will get back to you as soon as I return from the Western Union agent. Trust me, Mr Joe, I will come through for both of us and make Mr Obialor eat his words.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: New transfers made. Receipt attached

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 16:52:32

Dear Mr Joe,

I am a man of my word. As soon as I had responded to your last email, I dropped everything I was doing, postponed a few beatings, and made my way into town to the Western Union agent as fast as my Morris Marina would take me, the spectre of Madame Cholet by my side in the passenger seat, shrieking insults and damnation at me all the way. I parked directly outside the Western Union agent, ran inside, and cancelled the money transfer. I then got back into my car, headed to the other agent a few streets away (Going Places, a travel agency and bureaux de change), and again parked the car directly outside.

I then made two separate money transfers: both for £3,325. The control numbers for these transfers are 3752969588 and 3752969589. I explained the problems that I had experienced with the other agent, and this new agent assured me that although the Western Union network was not quite back up to its usual level of reliability, the transfers have been made.

The new agent gave me the same telephone number to pass on to you, in case you experienced problems accessing the money again. However, I explained to him that you had tried calling this number and you had got through to an answering machine. Therefore, the agent gave me an alternative number: +44(0) 20 72311220. He assured me that if you experienced any problems, there would definitely be someone on the end of the line who would be able to give you exactly what you need.

As soon as I had completed my business with the Western Union agent, I rushed outside, got back in my car, and drove hell for leather back to Saint Bunty’s. Luckily, there were no policemen in the room with the scanner, so I quickly scanned in the first Western Union receipt. Unfortunately, a policeman returned before I could scan in the second receipt, so I made my excuses and left.

I have attached the receipt I scanned in to this email for you. Hopefully this will be enough to persuade the doubting Mr Obialor that I am indeed a man of my word.

I suggest that Mr Obialor makes his way to his local Western Union agent immediately to collect the money. And I expect a full apology from him once he has done so. I will not stand for people calling me a liar.

Please get back to me as soon as Obialor has collected the money. More than ever, time is now of the essence.

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

The telephone number given is that of the Fraud Squad in London.

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: New transfers made. Receipt attached

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 09:58:54 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

Thanks for your two email which you sent in quick succession to show that you are a man of your words.

I too am all for putting Mr Obialor to shame. I have always believed you and I will ever do, knowing as I do what has gone into our efforts to actualise the business, including poor Madame Cholet’s blood which is also haunting me as it is disturbing you by the seconds.

I have received the information of the fresh transfer you made from the other agent, and also noted the number volunteered by the agent, in case it becomes necessary for the agent here to contact him.

Meanwhile, it is evening here and all Western Union offices are closed for the day. Therefore, I will leave everything I should do tomorrow morning and rush to the bank again as I did today, to hand in the information you have sent, to the bank for proper action.

Rest assured that the pressure would be on the bank, as soon as the money is cleared. I will be responsible for all the pressure they will face tomorrow until the $15,000,000 is on its way to the account you have indicated. I promise you again that I shall not leave the bank and its officers alone until the deed is done and I would joyfully communicate the information to you.

Be reassured that though I am several thousand miles away from you physically, I am with you in spirit and in truth.

Once again, I appreciate all your efforts and commitments. Let us hope for the best tomorrow.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I look forward to hearing that the bank has the money

Sent: Mon, 08 Dec 2023 19:42:18

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email, and for your kind words of support. I am pleased to hear that you are behind me 100%. I have to say, this has been the most difficult period of my life. I have never experienced stress like this before. Your support is therefore much appreciated.

Unfortunately, the police are planning to interview me again tomorrow. I am afraid that they might start to take an even harder line with their questioning, and that they might follow through with their threats regarding my testicles and the desk drawer. If they do so, I do not know how long I will be able to hold out without telling them something incriminating.

I look forward to hearing good news from you tomorrow. Please pray for the wellbeing of the orphans at Saint Bunty’s tonight, my dear friend. And pray for the wellbeing of my testicles while you’re at it.

Yours in fear,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: The bank has not received the money yet. Take urgent action to resolve the situation

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 05:41:25 -0800 (PST)

Dear Mr Gilbert Murray,

Thanks for your email. How are you today and how is your family? I hope that you are all fine.

I am writing to inform you that the bank’s protocol officer, Mr Victor C Obialor, is still having problems with accessing the transfer made by you.

Up till this moment that I am writing to you, the money transfer control numbers 3752969588 and 3752969589 cannot be confirmed in the Western Union system over here.

I really wonder the kind of Western Union agent that you used to send the money and why the control numbers cannot be confirmed in the system.

All efforts to contact the agent on the telephone number 44(0)207 2311 220 also proved abortive with the phone ringing continuously without reply.

Could you please call Mr Victor C Obialor on his own telephone, +234 80 33210108, as soon as you find out what the problem is with the transfer and rectify same accordingly.

Note that these delays could affect your indicated account receiving the transfer before this weekend, as both of us very much desire, in order to keep Saint Bunty’s afloat again.

Expecting your urgent positive response.

Regards,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I don’t know what else I can do!

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 13:58:02

Dear Mr Joe,

I despair!

I don’t know what else I can do!

I have just called my local Western Union agent and they have confirmed to me that the money has been transferred, is in the Western Union system, and is waiting to be collected!

Are you sure this Mr Obialor knows what he’s doing? I would have thought that collecting the money would be a simple matter. Does the bank not have someone else available, perhaps with a few more brain cells at their disposal?

If this Obialor is a friend of yours, then I apologise for being so candid, but I am extremely annoyed that the man seems incapable of completing a simple monetary transaction. These delays are unforgivable.

Perhaps we are going about this in the wrong way. I will look into an alternative means of getting the money to you. A simpler way, if possible – one that Mr Obialor will be able to understand.

I will get back to you later today.

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I don’t know what else I can do!

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 06:14:28 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

I have just read your email and my confidence in your honesty increases.

Mr Obialor is not my friend, but an officer of the bank. I strongly advise that you should call him or give his number to your agent to call him and let him know what to do to clear the money as quickly as possible before the day ends without our achieving our goal of the transfer being on its way to your indicated account. The number of Mr Obialor again, is +234 80 33210108.

I have noted that you will advise me accordingly if you think up any possible and quicker alternative should the situation remain the same after today.

It is also absolutely important that you confirm from your agent that the transfers are in the system and could be accessed here in Nigeria. Please find a way to call me for a discussion, or you let me have your cell phone number so that I could call and talk with you. This is very important. My number is:+234 80 331 25276.

I am still waiting for the process here to move ahead before I conclude and send the contract to you. Please bear with me.

Lets keep hoping for the best today.

Much love,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I have transferred the money using an alternative method

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 15:29:32

Dear Mr Joe,

I am a man of action. After sending my last email to you, I dropped everything (again) and drove into town as fast as I could (again). I went straight to the Western Union agent, explained the situation, and cancelled the transfer.

I then went with the money directly to my bank and talked to my bank manager, Nat West. Don’t worry; I did not tell Mr West anything about the nature of our business. I simply told him that I needed to transfer a sum of money as quickly as possible to a business contact in Nigeria, and asked him how best I could achieve this.

Mr West, whose advice has always been sound, suggested that I transfer the money using the Guaranteed International Money Provision Service (GIMPS). This costs a little more than a standard bank transfer, but apparently using GIMPS means that the money is transferred instantly – it is similar in this respect to Western Union. However, as the money moves directly from one bank account into another, it is more secure than Western Union. And apparently the GIMPS network is used by banks worldwide, so Mr Obialor will be able to collect the money at his own bank if he wishes. Alternatively, he will be able to go to any other bank and access the money via the GIMPS network. As Mr Obialor works for a bank, he is probably well aware of the GIMPS network already.

I have therefore taken Mr West’s advice, and transferred £6,650 to Mr Obialor. As I have transferred it using GIMPS, he can collect the money today, by following the steps below.

Mr Obialor must go to any bank – either his own bank, or another bank – and ask the cashier for a GIMPS form. He must fill in the following details on the form, as well as details of the bank account into which he wants to transfer the money. The cashier will then be able to access the money via the GIMPS network, and transfer it into the nominated account instantly:

Sending account name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Account number: 74053275

Sort code: 21-38-19

Account holding bank: Bartletts Bank PLC, 14 Slocombe Street, Lincoln, Lincolnshire, UK

GIMPS code: 23F-57T-674G

Please let me know as soon as Mr Obialor has been able to collect the money. And please, Mr Joe, ask Mr Obialor to try not to mess things up this time – I am getting extremely tired of this endless faffing around.

I look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.

Yours in frustration,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I have transferred the money using an alternative method

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 08:29:14 -0800 (PST)

My dear brother and friend Gilbert,

Thanks for your email and your fresh and most intelligent initiative.

I just read and printed out your email with the transfer information for onward delivery to the bank before the close of work today.

Right now however, I am in an emergency meeting with a client of mine who came to protest about my abandoning his matter in court (of course you will understand, the transaction is more important to me than his court case). I need to appease him a little. Immediately after this, I will rush to the bank to deliver the email you sent to the bank manager himself, Mr Tanko Mahmood, and give him express instructions to ensure that every necessary action is take first thing tomorrow morning by his bank to clear the money and conclude the transfer process to your indicated account.

I will also not fail to put it to him that his bank has severely embarrassed me and you, the next of kin to the deceased Mr Mark Murray.

I will also look for a way to talk to Mr Obialor in a way that will make him understand that maybe he is not fit for the role and duties his bank has assigned him because what he achieves are only disappointments.

I wish to thank you again and again for your honesty and forthrightness.

I will give you a feed back early tomorrow.

Have a very relaxed night rest.

Much much love,

Vincent

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I am praying for a quick conclusion to this transaction

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 19:17:41

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. I am delighted to hear that you will be involving Mr Mahmood in this transaction rather than Mr Obialor, who has disappointed us so much so far. If Mr Mahmood is cut from the same cloth as my own bank manager, Nat West, I am sure that he will be able to bring this transaction to a successful conclusion without any problems.

I do hope that you are not in too much trouble with your client, my dear friend. Please accept my heartfelt apologies if anything I have done has caused you the least bit of trouble.

I appreciate your hope that I should have a good night’s rest. Unfortunately, I fear that this is extremely unlikely. I have not slept a wink since I murdered Madame Cholet. I do not know when I shall be able to sleep again.

I look forward very much to hearing from you tomorrow.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: OFF TO THE BANK AGAIN

Sent: Tue, 09 Dec 2023 23:57:05 -0800 (PST)

Dearest Gilbert,

Thanks for your email. I hope you really slept well last night.

Thank you also for your concern over my client’s protest. It is well.

I will leave for the bank again immediately after sending out this email to you.

I am very confident that the situation should be resolved to our joy and happiness today. This is more so, because I will involve the bank manager and with your promise that the GIMPS could work in their bank, this is the perfect solution to the lingering stalemate in our process.

I will send you an email immediately I receive the transfer information of the $15,000,000 to your indicated account today from the bank.

Expect the god news.

Best regards,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I look forward to hearing from you

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 09:26:18

Dear Mr Joe,

Thank you for your email. I do so hope that the GIMPS at the bank will be able to expedite this transaction quickly today.

Yet again, I have spent an entire night without sleep. I feel that my body and mind are both on the verge of total collapse. The police are going to interview me yet again today. I am worried, my friend. Very worried. I am sure that they know something. I will have to do my best to keep my cool, but it is getting more and more difficult by the day. I fear that I may crack under close questioning.

Incidentally, you told me in your last email to “expect the god news”. I am confused. Have you suddenly found religion? Regardless, I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: GIMPS UNAVAILABLE HERE, WESTERN UNION, THE ONLY VIABLE OPTION FOR QUICK CONCLUSION OF PROCESS

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 02:49:42 -0800 (PST)

My dear Gilbert,

Thanks for your email and the correction. I meant to write “good” and mistakenly wrote “god”, OK. This is part of the fall out of the heat and pressure under which you and I find ourselves in the present moment. Believe it, I believe in God. How about you? This is an aside though.

I just came from the bank and against the bank manager’s decision to write you an official letter, I held a discussion with him, and decided to rush to my office to communicate the information he wanted to write to you about by email to buy time so that things could be concluded today, if you co-operate.

According to the bank manager, Mr Tanko Mahmood, the GIMPS service is not available here in Nigeria. He therefore advised that you should withdraw the money again, from your bank and go to a Western Union agent whose transactions could be confirmed here in Nigeria and send the money as you did before in two transactions. That is, you should split the money into two as you said you did earlier, and send the money by Western Union.

Mr Mahmood explained that the Western Union service from the UK is superb and wondered what could have gone wrong with the transactions you made recently.

As you well know my friend Gilbert, I am not a banker and cannot fault the suggestion of the highly esteemed bank manager. His bank is one of the most respected banks here in Nigeria and even has branches all over West Africa. Just like you respect Mr Nat West, I do have deep respect for Mr Mahmood.

I will therefore advise that you do exactly as he has advised in order for us to conclude the transaction and for the transfer to be in your indicated account, latest by this Friday.

Mr Mahmood who explained further that his bank treats everything concerning a genuine probate claim such as you have with his bank with compassion, still wonders why on two different occasions the transfers you made could not be confirmed in the Western Union system. His own impression is neither here nor there because I trust with all my heart that you made the transactions you said you made. I believe that the problem must have come from the erratic network of the agents in your locality.

I do sincerely appreciate all your efforts and the stress you are going through to ensure that everything is OK with our transaction. I will therefore appeal to you to go the extra mile and get things finally sorted out this morning and send the transfer information, such as the receipt and control numbers of the two transactions to me so that I could submit same to the bank for Mr Obialor to pick up the money today.

Be assured that this done, I will mount very severe pressure on the bank and Mr Mahmood to make sure that the transfer of the $15,000,000 is effected to your indicated account today.

I am waiting in my office for the Western Union information.

Yours truly,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I have very nearly come to the end of my tether

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 12:03:02

Dear Mr Joe,

I am a patient man. But this is ridiculous. I have never been messed about so much in all my life.

What is wrong with the people who work at this bank? Does nobody there have more than two brain cells to rub together? It sounds to me like they are all one leg short of a chair. For god’s sake, these bank officials are turning what should be a simple business into a complete farce.

I have bent over backwards to do all I can to make this transaction go through smoothly and quickly. And yet time and again, these cretins find a new way to foul up our business. I cannot afford to keep dashing out of work like I have done over the past two days; the police are growing ever more suspicious. Nevertheless, it seems that this is exactly what I shall have to do.

I will contact you this afternoon once I am back at Saint Bunty’s, having cancelled the GIMPS transaction and set up two further Western Union transactions.

Hopefully we can still get this money transferred by the end of today, as the situation here is now absolutely critical. The police are drawing their net ever closer following the disappearance of Madame Cholet, Saint Bunty’s has run out of money and is fast running out of food, and I am going out of my mind, being harangued and barracked constantly by the bloody spectre of the woman you prompted me to murder. Not only is the survival of over a hundred little orphans at stake, but so is my sanity.

If I do not hear that someone from the bank has collected the money by the end of tomorrow, I will have no alternative but to cancel the GIMPS transaction, use the money to buy myself a one-way ticket to Rio, and get the hell out of here. I cannot afford to put up with any more of these farcical delays from your end.

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Yet more Western Union transactions made

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 13:42:21

Dear Mr Joe,

I have done it. I went into town, cancelled the GIMPS transfer (much to the consternation of Nat West, who is beginning to wonder what is going on), then went back to the Western Union agent and made two more transfers. The Western Union agent is now also wondering what on earth is going on.

Luckily when I returned to Saint Bunty’s, the police were on their lunch break. This time I have managed to scan in both receipts. The control numbers you need are on the receipts.

These people at the bank had better get their act together this time, because I am not doing this again. I have more than enough on my plate at the moment without the obstacles these fools are placing in my way.

Gilbert Murray

(Click to enlarge)

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Disastrous news!

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 16:05:57

Dear Mr Joe,

I am in a state of panic. The police have just announced that they have dragged Gypping Marsh and have found the body of Madame Cholet! This is now not just a missing persons investigation, but a murder investigation! And we both know who the guilty parties are: you and I!

I was so shocked by the news that I nearly fainted when Miss Macbeth told me about it. Madame Cholet’s ghost, which is now by my side constantly, is delighted at the news – she keeps on telling me that the noose is drawing tighter and that I am going to go to rot in hell. I was starting to get used to having the spectre as a constant companion, finding myself able to ignore it most of the time, but it is now so loud and boisterous that I cannot ignore it any more.

I am terrified that as soon as the police forensics team start work on Madame Cholet’s body, they will find some clue to link me to her murder.

I must get out of here. I cannot stay here much longer. Tell me, Mr Joe, is there an extradition treaty between Nigeria and the United Kingdom?

And tell me, has the bank collected the money yet?

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Disastrous news!

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 09:18:58 -0800 (PST)

My dear brother,

Thank you so much for your emails today, and the Western Union receipts for the two transactions.

I had to rush out to deliver the receipts to the bank, and wanted to reply you with the positive news of the major transfer to your indicated account, but this seems never to be because for the umpteenth time, they have been unable to collect the money down here for the reason that, according the protocol officer of the bank, the Western Union agent here said the transactions are yet to reflect in their system.

I had to leave the bank, in anguish and frustration as the situation did not give me any opportunity to impress on the bank manager who is now very disturbed about the whole situation, to make the transfer to your account today.

According to Mr Obialor, the agent said he should come to his office again, tomorrow morning at 9am, to check if the transaction would be in their system by that time tomorrow.

Again, I must leave everything and be at the bank tomorrow because this transaction is more important to me than any other thing in this world, except maybe, my life.

Concerning the developments at Saint Bunty’s, my advice is that you must not crack. You must make ever effort to stay afloat both in mood and composure. You will agree with me that if you give out anything right now, we will be done for, including the transaction.

I sympathise with you very deeply and wish I could physically share part of your predicament right now. Please do your very best to hold out. We will both tell stories with this when we come together after the transaction.

Nigeria do have an extradition treaty with the UK, but frankly, I need to check the legislation again to feed you exactly the provisions.

I will see what I could do about this before this weekend.

Expect another situation report from me, by tomorrow.

Good night,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: This is unbelievable

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 19:13:33

Dear Mr Joe,

I have just read your email in disbelief. How is this possible? No matter which way we turn, the hound of fate places another steaming turd in our path.

I pray to god that the bank officials will be able to collect the money I have transferred to them when they return to the Western Union agent first thing tomorrow. If not, I fear that events may soon overtake us.

Madame Cholet’s bloody spectre is standing behind me as I write this, looking over her shoulder at the words I am typing and chuckling to herself. I never believed in the spirit world until this horrendous sequence of events unfolded around me. Now I fear that I may be stuck with the ghost of Madame Cholet by my side for the rest of my life. Indeed – the spirit is nodding in agreement as I type these words.

I wonder if the spirits themselves have some part to play in this disaster? Perhaps we are both doomed. Again, she nods her head in agreement.

Please, Mr Joe, I beg you, send me good news tomorrow. I cannot take much more of this. My nerves are in shreds.

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: This is unbelievable

Sent: Wed, 10 Dec 2023 21:26:53 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

Thanks for your email.

I committed murder in my dream last night and since 3am when I woke up after the nightmare, I have not slept again.

In fact the little boy I killed by pounding him in a mortter, came face to face with me while I was awake and held me down, but I tried and freed myself and rushed to me office to tell you about it.

My hope is that the bank clears the money today for the concluding parts of the business to be on course.

Regards,

Vincent

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: A dreadful development

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 09:53:01

Dear Mr Joe,

Oh, woe! The police have just announced a dreadful development in this unfolding saga! Apparently Madame Cholet’s husband, Tobermory, has just been found dead with his two little children, Orinoco and Tomsk. It seems that he could not bear the news that his wife’s body had been found, and drove his two young boys out to a remote part of Gypping Marsh, where he gassed them all in his car. He apparently left a suicide note, which said that he could not live without his dear wife, and he did not want his children to have to grow up without their mother.

Oh, Mr Joe! This would not have happened had you not persuaded me to kill Madame Cholet! We now have not one death on our hands, but four!

Let us only hope that the bank have some success this morning. Otherwise, I do not know what to do. Have you tried calling the telephone numbers I gave you yourself? Maybe you would be able to expedite matters with more success than the bank officials.

Oh, woe is me!

Gilbert Murray

From: Tanko Mahmood

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: PAY FEE TO THE ACCOUNT INDICATED IN MAIL

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 07:14:57 -0500

DEAR SIR,

RE: THE ESTATE OF LATE MR MARK MURRAY

ACCOUNT DETAILS FOR PAYMENT OF PROCESSING FEE OF GBP 6,650.

I WRITE TO INFORM YOU THAT NONE OF THE CONTROL NUMBERS OF THE WESTERN UNION TRANSFERS YOU SUPPOSEDLY MADE TO OUR BANK COULD BE CONFIRMED BY THE LOCAL WESTERN UNION AGENT.

WE VIEW THIS DEVELOPMENT AS UNFORTUNATE, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE OUR BANK IS NOT IN CONTROL OF SUCH TRANSFERS. THEREFORE, IT IS DIFFICULT TO VERIFY WHERE THE PROBLEMS HAVE COME FROM.

IN ORDER TO GIVE YOU ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY TO SEND THE MONEY TO OUR BANK, WE ARE RATHER FORCED TO SEND TO YOU A BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATION TO WHICH YOU SHOULD TRANSFER THE PROCESSING FEE, IMMEDIATELY. THIS WILL HOWEVER TAKE A LONGER TIME THAN A NORMAL GENUINE WESTERN UNION TRANSFER.

BE ADVISED IN YOUR OWN INTEREST TO TRANSFER THE INDICATED FEE TO OUR BANK THROUGH THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNT INFORMATION:

CITI BANK NA, 111 WALL STREET, NEW YORK, USA

SWIFT CODE: CITIUS33

A/C NO: 36147178

A/C NAME: FIRST ATLANTIC BANK

BEN: AFEXFINSEC LTD

WE ALSO WISH TO ASSURE YOU THAT AS SOON AS OUR AFFILIATES IN NEW YORK CONFIRM THE TRANSFER OF THE GBP 6,650 TO US BY KEY TESTED TELEGRAPHIC TRANSFER (KTT), WE WILL GET THE FINAL PROCESSING AND DOCUMENTATION OF YOUR PROBATE CLAIM UNDERWAY, FOR THE REMITTANCE OF YOUR CLAIM AMOUNT TO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT WITHIN 72 HOURS, OF THE CONCLUSION OF THESE PROCEDURES BY OUR BANK.

THANK YOU.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

TANKO MAHMOOD

MANAGER, ECOBANK INTERNATIONAL PLC

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Tanko Mahmood

Subject: Please call this number

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 12:39:04

Dear Mr Mahmood,

I am in receipt of your astonishingly rude email. How dare you imply that I have not transferred any money to you? I have bent over backwards to make sure that this transaction goes through smoothly, yet have been met with nothing but incompetence and obfuscation from you and your colleagues.

I am nearly at the end of my tether, and I will not put up with a mere pen-pushing bank official doubting my word as a gentleman.

I have contacted my local Western Union agent yet again and explained the situation to them, clearly and concisely. The Western Union agent suggested that either you or Mr Obialor should immediately contact a Mr Russ Greaves on +44 (0) 1522 532222. Apparently he is an expert in matters like this. Explain the exact situation to Mr Greaves, and he will apparently be able to deal with you in an appropriate manner.

Please get back to me as soon as you or Obialor have spoken to Mr Greaves and let me know what the outcome of your conversation is.

Gilbert Murray

PS. Is there something wrong with your computer keyboard, or have you simply not learned how to use capital letters properly?

The telephone number and name given are those of an officer in the Lincolnshire Police Fraud Squad.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: I have just received a very rude email from Mr Mahmood

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 12:42:36

Dear Mr Joe,

I have just received a very rude email from Mr Mahmood. I am bemused to hear that the otiose Obialor has still not managed to get his sweaty little hands on my money. I have put up with this series of delays and disasters from the bank for too long. We need to get this matter sorted once and for all.

Therefore I have contacted my local Western Union agent yet again and explained the situation to them, clearly and concisely. The Western Union agent suggested that either you, Mr Mahmood or Mr Obialor should immediately contact a Mr Russ Greaves on +44 (0) 1522 532222. Apparently he is an expert in matters like this. I have passed this number on to Mr Mahmood and asked him to call Mr Greaves immediately. If Mr Mahmood explains the exact situation to Mr Greaves, he will apparently be able to deal with him in an appropriate manner.

I am no longer prepared to put up with any more of these delays from your end. The poor little orphans are depending on you. Either you and the bank get this matter sorted out today, or I will have to consider an alternative way of recouping Saint Bunty’s money, such as a punt on the 12.30 at Newmarket tomorrow.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Vincent Joe

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I have just received a very rude email from Mr Mahmood

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 05:12:51 -0800 (PST)

Dear Gilbert,

Thank you for your email and Mr Greaves’ telephone number.

I just returned from the bank and was settling down to send you an email with an update when I discovered that you have sent two new emails to me, including this mail with Mr Greaves’ telephone number.

It is so sad to hear of the death of Madame Cholet’s remaining family. What a disaster!

Before I left the bank, Mr Mahmood said he would send you an email. Your mail has confirmed that he did as he said because I was going to inform you to expect his email and to be calm and collected as you reply to him if he writes to you.

I will rush back to the bank to Mr Mahmood to contact Mr Greaves and resolve the situation to ensure that Mr Obialor collects the money today for his bank to make the transfer of the $15,000,000 to your indicated account immediately, as is desired by you and I.

I have to be on my way right away. Expect a feed back from me soon.

Regards,

Vincent Joe Esq.

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Tanko Mahmood

Subject: What is the delay now?

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 15:13:43

Mahmood,

What is the delay now? Why have I not heard back from you in response to my last email? Time is money – you’re supposed to be a banker, so you should know this better than anyone.

Now is not the time for indolence, Mahmood; now is the time for action. Stop fornicating with your cashiers or whatever it is you’re doing right now and apply yourself to the business in hand.

Have you spoken to Mr Greaves? If so, what is the outcome? You must keep me informed.

And let’s have no more talk of this ridiculous scheme of yours involving transferring money to you via some account in New York. Start talking sense, man. Or perhaps you would like me to transfer my money to you via a bank in Outer Mongolia and a building society in Bolivia?

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: What is going on?

Sent: Thu, 11 Dec 2023 21:35:45

Dear Mr Joe,

I am dismayed that I have not heard from you for so long. Is everything okay?

I have been communicating with Mr Mahmood, but the man does not seem to want to reply to my emails. Is the man being rude, or is he simply being ignorant? He came up with some ridiculous notion of me transferring money to some bank account in New York! Perhaps he had enjoyed a liquid lunch today.

What is the current situation? Have you telephoned Mr Greaves as the Western Union agent suggested?

In fact, have you made any progress at all? I would hate to think that you were wasting my time, after all we have been through.

Unless I hear otherwise from you by Friday lunchtime, I will have no option but to cancel the Western Union transfers I made the other day and to put the money on a horse in the hope of making a quick profit. Gullible Mugu 419er in the 12.30 at Newmarket looks good to me (the spectre of Madame Cholet rates this horse highly), but I would appreciate your advice.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

From: Gilbert Murray

To: Vincent Joe

Subject: Good news!

Sent: Fri, 12 Dec 2023 10:53:01

Dear Mr Joe,

I am disappointed that you have not responded to my emails. Do you no longer care about the fate of the poor little orphan boys and girls at Saint Bunty’s? Perhaps you have not responded because your numerous futile trips to your Western Union agent have left you exhausted?

Anyway, I have some good news for you. I travelled into town this morning and cancelled the Western Union transfers. I then went straight to the bookmakers and put all the money on Dimwit Scamboy Joe in the 10.15 at Doncaster. The ghost of Madame Cholet thought the horse might be lucky as it shared your name. And guess what? The horse romped home at 25 to 1!

This is excellent news: it means that Saint Bunty’s now has enough money to keep going for quite some time to come. I am sure that we will be able to find ourselves another benefactor before this money runs out.

You will be pleased to hear that the ghost of Madame Cholet and I are getting on quite well together now. She’s not a bad old stick, and once she stops shrieking about hellfire and damnation, she’s actually quite good fun to have around. And if today’s anything to go by, she’s a dab hand at picking horses.

She still reckons you’re going to burn in hell though. But then I expect you knew that anyway.

It was nice doing business with you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray