scambuster419.co.uk: where 419 scam artists meet their match

scambuster419.co.uk: where 419 scam artists meet their match

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Introduction

The Scambusts

The General Practitioner

The Aristocrat II

The Massage Parlour Proprietor

The Football Club Manager

The Vicar V

The Astrologer

The Worm Sanctuary Owner

The Signwriter

The Brewer

The Member of Parliament II

The Door Furniture Specialist

The Inventor IV

The Retired Wing Commander IV

The Baker

The Farmer

The Hotelier

The Veterinary Surgeon

The Vicar IV

The Psychosexual Therapist

The Orphanage Director II

The Cess Pit Cleaner

The Dating Agency Proprietor

The Adult Video Director

The Retired Wing Commander III

The Inventor III

The Poultry Magnate III

The Poultry Magnate II

The Vicar III

The Miller

The Member of Parliament

The Lottery Winner

The Inventor II

The Circus Ringmaster

The Undertaker

The Retired Wing Commander II

The Butcher

The Vicar II

The Vicar

The Doctor of Economics

The Rubber Duck Manufacturer

The Orphanage Director

The Aristocrat

The Poet

The Poultry Magnate

The Retired Wing Commander

The Professor of Economics

The Inventor

Mapping Gilbert’s activities

Map of Gypping in the Marsh

The Global Scamming Community

Internet Fraud Information

Classified Advertisement Scams

Investment Scams

Job Vacancies in the Scamming Business

Internet Resources

Scambusting Advice

Scambusting Tips

Gilbert’s Guide to Sending Money to Scammers

Blank Western Union and MoneyGram Receipts

Reactions and Feedback

The Scammers’ Reactions

Feedback from Fans

Contact Details

Copyright Notice


The Psychosexual Therapist


In which Gilbert is contacted by the first son of the third wife of His Royal Highness Philip Kodjo, the late mayor of Lome province in Togo, who is asking for help in transferring his late father’s fortune out of the country. Unfortunately, Gilbert is more interested in getting to the bottom of Mr Kodjo’s psychosexual problems. And he seems to have rather a lot of them...

Cast of characters

  • Gilbert Murray – psychosexual therapist at the Oedipus Clinic.
  • Aloy Kodjo – allegedly the first son of the third wife of His Royal Highness Philip Kodjo, the late mayor of Lome province in Togo.
  • Thomas Mbaga – allegedly Mr Kodjo’s barrister.
  • Dr Michael Basil – allegedly the Director of Operations of a bizarrely-named security company.
  • Dr Ishmael Agossou – allegedly another employee of the bizarrely-named security company.


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Joint Venture

Sent: Mon, 20 Jun 2005 08:35:26 -0700 (PDT)

From: Aloy Kodjo

Dear friend,

In brief, I’m Mr Aloy Kodjo from Lome, Togo, one of the sons of late His Royal Highness Philip Kodjo “Efia”, the mayor of Lome province in Togo who died on November 10th 2002, may his gentle soul rest in peace.

My father got married to three wives with seventeen children. I am the first son of the third wife of my father. Due to the special love my father had for me and my mother, while on his sick bed before he died he gave to me in confidence the key to his underground safe in our family villa.

Upon my opening the underground safe, I was surprised to see amongst other things a sealed box which contained $11 million. I immediately contacted my private attorney who with his noble assistance lodged this box with a reliable security company here in Togo.

Due to the polygamous nature of my family, I will like you to keep this point a secret for my own security and confidential reasons.

Right now, your co-operation is highly needed to assist me convey this consignment out of the security company for a better investment overseas and possibly to help my family to relocate overseas. Please if you can assist and co-operate with me, I will let you have up to 20% of the total sum since you will also help me in the investments and our possible relocation once the consignment is moved out safely.

Please, remember that you will advise me on what area of investment to go into, though I am interested in buying properties and shares in good performing foreign companies.

Please I need your prompt reply indicating your interest through my email address. As soon as you accept to assist me I will give you all the details of the deposit with the security company here in Togo for you to open up an official communication with them as my overseas investment manager.

Please treat this transaction as confidential for this is the hope of my family’s survivals.

Regards,

Aloy Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Re: Joint Venture

Sent: Tue, 21 Jun 2005 08:49:37

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I have just read the email that you sent me yesterday. I have to say, my dear chap, I could barely believe my eyes when I read your proposal. I don't quite know how you got hold of my email address or what prompted you to contact me on this matter, but I am very glad that you did so.

I would like to thank you for putting forward this proposal to me. I am very interested in helping you out of your current predicament. Please send me further details by return.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: God Bless

Sent: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 01:26:34 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Partner,

Thanks for your response.

Please all I need from you is your maximum trust.

I got your contact from the internet when I was searching earnestly for a reliable partner to assist me in this very transaction. On settings eyes on your contact, I was inspired to introduce you in this mutual transaction and believed we shall invest successfully.

All you need to do is to adhere to my instructions. Where I am much concerned is your willingness and reliability to assist me in this very transaction.

To start, I will send to you a memorandum of understanding from my private attorney which you will sign and send back to me for file and reference to ensure a mutual agreement. After this I will then issue you a letter of authority for you to open up an official communication directly with the security company here in Lome, Togo on how best to lift this consignment into your care and custody.

Besides, before my attorney will draft these documents, you are required to send the following:

  1. Your full names and residential address.
  2. Your international passport number or driver’s licence number.
  3. State correctly your age, occupation, position, tel/fax numbers.

However, as soon as I receive this information correctly from you I will forward to you the memorandum of understanding for you to sign and send back to me, then the letter of authority will follow immediately for you to open up a official communication directly with the company. A copy of this letter of authority will also be forwarded to the security company for reference.

I will like you to bear in mind that the consignment was deposited with the security company confidentially with a solid contact from attorney for these reasons. Firstly, my country lacks democracy, secondly, to maintain secrecy due to the polygamous nature of my family. I implore you to keep this point secret for security and confidential reasons.

Besides, on smooth completion of this transaction you will send to me a letter of invitation to enable me to come over to your country for official relocation with my family, sharing and investment purposes.

I am waiting to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can proceed and clarification.

Regards,

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: The information you requested

Sent: Wed, 22 Jun 2005 10:13:52

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. I must tell you, my dear chap, that I am absolutely thrilled by the wonderful opportunity you are putting my way: I simply can’t believe my luck!

Before we go any further, I feel that I must reassure you on one point. You mentioned reliability and confidentiality, and given the nature of this transaction, I can fully understand why you wish to ensure that you are dealing with a reliable and trustworthy individual. Well, Mr Kodjo, confidentiality, trust and reliability are part and parcel of my everyday work – I am a therapist and I deal with my patients’ sexual problems on a daily basis – so I trust that you can see that I am the type of man who can be trusted to deal with this kind of thing in an appropriate manner.

Now then, here is the information you requested:

Name: Gilbert Arnold Murray

Address: Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK

Passport number: 2067988290

Age: 52

Occupation: Doctor of Psychosexual Therapy, The Oedipus Clinic, Gypping in the Marsh

Position: Currently seated at my desk

Telephone/fax number: 01927 58367

I trust that this is all the information you need at the present time.

One thing that may be worth noting is that strictly speaking, I am Doctor Gilbert Arnold Murray. Although I tend not to call myself “Doctor” (some people, especially my patients, can find it slightly intimidating), it might be worth pointing this out to your lawyer so that he can use my official and correct title on any documents that he draws up.

On the subject of titles, you referred to your late father as “His Royal Highness”. Does this mean that you too are royalty? Should I be addressing you as “Prince Aloy” rather than as “Mr Kodjo”? Please let me know: I would hate to offend you unintentionally by addressing you incorrectly.

I must go now: my secretary, Chlamydia, has just informed me that my first patient of the day has arrived. I look forward to receiving the memorandum of understanding from you, and to working with you towards a successful and profitable conclusion.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: The memorandum of understanding

Sent: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 02:15:00 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Gilbert Murray,

The attached is a copy of the memorandum of understanding, you are expected to sign and send back asap.

Though my attorney drafted the document, he commented on your passport number and expected you to reconfirm it immediately for official file and reference.

Hoping to hearing from you soonest.

Regards,

Aloy Kodjo

The memorandum of understanding
(Click to enlarge)


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: The memorandum of understanding

Sent: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 11:48:17

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email and for sending me the memorandum of understanding that your lawyer has drawn up. Having read through the document, I would be happy to sign it were it not for one small problem.

The memorandum of understanding refers to terms that are contained in an “official letter of authority”, and if I was to sign the memorandum of understanding, I presume that I would not only be indicating that I am happy with the terms of the memorandum of understanding, but also that I am happy with the terms of the official letter of authority. As I have not yet seen the terms of the official letter of authority, I cannot yet say whether or not I am happy with them, which means that I cannot yet sign the memorandum of understanding.

I trust that you can see my problem. Therefore, please send me a copy of the official letter of authority by return, so that I can read through its terms. If I am happy with its terms (and I am sure that I will be), then I will sign and return the memorandum of understanding.

You mentioned that your lawyer commented on my passport number. Having checked the number I sent you against my passport, I can confirm that I did indeed send you the correct number yesterday.

I must go: Chlamydia has just rung through to inform me that my next patient has arrived. I look forward to receiving the official letter of authority from you as soon as possible.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You did not confirm whether I am addressing you correctly. Given that your late father was a “Royal Highness”, should I be addressing you as “Prince Aloy” or not? Please clarify.


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: THANK YOU

Sent: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 10:46:00 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Gilbert Murray,

Good day sir. How are you with your family? I hope all is well.

Thank you again for your mail. My dear, I just want to let you know that I am going to send to you everything you need in this transaction.

All I need for now is your maximum trust, because this FUND is the last hope of my life, my mother and a sister.

Please sir, you can call me by my name Mr Aloy Kodjo. I am not the first son of my late father as you can see, but I believe one day God will make me a prince when the time comes. For now I don’t like the name.

I will send what you ask for as soon as I get back from the lawyer’s chamber. Thank you and God bless.

ALOY


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I can assure you of my maximum trust

Sent: Thu, 23 Jun 2005 19:53:44

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. I would like to reassure you that you will have maximum trust. It is the least I can do, given the wonderful opportunity you have placed in my lap.

Thank you for clarifying your status. I would hate to have offended you inadvertently by addressing you incorrectly. Believe me, offending you inadvertently is the last thing I want to do.

I look forward to hearing back from you when you return from the lawyer’s chamber and to receiving the official letter of authority from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You mentioned that you were planning to relocate to this country with your family when we have concluded this transaction successfully. Considering the good turn you are doing for me, I would be honoured if you and your family would come and stay as guests of me and my wife Elizabeth, here in Gypping in the Marsh. Our cottage is rather small, but we do have a small caravan at the end of the garden that would be perfectly serviceable with the application of a bit of elbow grease. Do let me know: it would be lovely to meet you and your family.


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I can assure you of my maximum trust

Sent: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 08:22:19 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Gilbert Murray,

Good day sir. How is your family today? I hope you are all OK with your health, if so thanks to God, I am fine here.

I received your mail and I was very happy hearing from you. I was just coming from the lawyer’s office. After this trip I was not happy, this is why you have not heard from me since today, but all the same, he was telling me that before he can give to me any help again I will have to agree that 20% of this FUND will be given to him, that we have to put it in writing, that if after this transaction he is going to have that, my dear if you want to assist me in this transaction please with this agreement that I have given to you we can go on. I don’t want to do with any lawyer. They are all after this FUND.

He is my late father’s lawyer. He was even asking me for a fee before he can give me the agreement letter I sent to you yesterday. Can you see that all I need is a foreign partner that can help me transfer this FUND? That is all. If you can give me your trust, believe me, in two to three weeks’ time this FUND will be transferred to you in your country home. I have with me all the papers to send to you for the transfer. I don’t trust anybody here in Africa. If you are ready then get back to me immediately so that I can give you the contact of the secretary company. Thank you and God bless. He even requested for your email address which I gave to him.

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: These lawyers are all the same

Sent: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 17:09:22

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. These lawyers are all the same, aren’t they? All they seem to care about is money, money, money. This lawyer of yours sounds particularly avaricious: how dare he have the brazen cheek to demand 20% of your fund? That’s over two million dollars! That’s simply ridiculous. The last thing we need is for some money-grabbing shyster to try and take a cut of our money. I trust you told him exactly where he could stick his legal briefs.

I presume that we are going to have no more to do with this lawyer. However, I was rather unsure from reading your email whether you were suggesting that we would be able to complete this transaction without any help from a lawyer at all. Do you think we will be able to do this?

If not, I could always have a word with my own lawyer, Welsby, and see if he could help us out. He’s a fine lawyer, and very well-respected in Lincolnshire legal circles. He also charges extremely reasonable fees. There’s no way he would demand over two million dollars for drafting a couple of documents.

Welsby’s got the sharpest legal brain I’ve ever come across. He proved invaluable the other year after an unfortunate incident in which my professional advice helped to prevent someone who had committed multiple sexual crimes from being sent to jail. I could have sworn that that man’s mental health was fine and that he was innocent of the crimes of which he stood accused. However, I turned out to be very wrong, and my advice had tragic consequences: he went on to commit a number of other, even more horrific crimes as soon as he was released from police custody.

Happily though, Welsby came through for me in the end, despite the multiple claims of professional negligence and culpability: not only did he manage to get all charges against me dropped, he also persuaded the judge to award me costs against the bereaved families. So things turned out alright in the end.

I can’t recommend Welsby highly enough. Let me know if you’d like me to contact him, my dear fellow. I am sure he would be able to help us out.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You haven’t let me know whether you will be taking me up on my offer to accommodate you and your family in my caravan when you come over to this country. Do let me know soon so that I can start work on getting the place cleaned up in preparation for your arrival.


From: Thomas Mbaga

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Attention please

Sent: Fri, 24 Jun 2005 11:39:38 -0700 (PDT)

Attention Gilbert Murray,

Firstly, I thank you for the great attention given to Mr Aloy.

I will not hesitate to tell you that I did not ever intend to do any business with anybody on the internet because of much fraudulent acts posed on the internet world today.

Please, I beg you with the name of God, if you know that your intention towards helping Aloy is genuine and sincere, we can work together, otherwise I don’t want anybody to involve my personality in anything fraud. I have a very good reputation in this country by God’s grace and will fight to any level with any person that tries in any way to tarnish my image.

So, if you see my words as due, then go on with Mr Aloy for the transfer. In return you two will know what to do about me at the end of this transaction.

I expect to get a scanned copy of your international passport or any other international valid identity card. Please let Aloy know about this mail to you.

Looking forward to read from you as soon as possible.

Thanks for your co-operations.

Barr Thomas Mbaga


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I am confused

Sent: Sat, 25 Jun 2005 09:12:47

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I am confused, my dear fellow. I have just received an email from your lawyer, Mr Mbaga. He is asking me to send him a copy of my passport, and talking as if he is still involved in this transaction.

From what you said in your last email, I thought that we were going to continue working on this transaction without Mr Mbaga, because of the outrageously high fee he was demanding: I thought that we were either going to go it alone, or contact my own lawyer, Welsby, for help.

What should I do, Mr Kodjo? Should I reply to Mr Mbaga, or ignore his email? Should I get onto Welsby and see if he can help us out?

I need your advice, Mr Kodjo, and I need it now. I am extremely confused and I don’t know what to do.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Good day sir

Sent: Sat, 25 Jun 2005 01:26:05 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Gilbert Murray,

How are you today? I received your mail. Thank you for that. My dear, any place you accommodate me and my family will be fine for us, I am coming to your house like one family.

Last night my lawyer called me on phone telling me that all is now over, that he is going to GHANA to come back in three days time, that as soon as he comes back he will send to you the letter you requested. So in this case, he also said that he mailed you last night.

The most important thing now is for you to send a notification letter to the security company requesting for the release of this consignment, please, so that when the letter is sent to you from the lawyer you can now send to me the agreement paper.

Below is the contact of the security company in question. Go ahead and contact the director and get back to me.

Global Securiritiesss /Finance Company (SARL), Lome, Togo

Fax: 228 22 19826

Email: globalinfo@uymail.com

Attn: Dr Michael Basil, The Director of Operations, Foreign Deposit Dept, Global Securiritiesss (SARL), Lome, Togo

Notification for the release and transfer of one metal box consignment from vault #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG. Please be informed that I wish to come for the claim, release and transfer of the sum of one metal box consignment from vault #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG with your security company. The above consignment was deposited in your security vault by Mr Aloy Kodjo of Lome, Togo.

I am Mr Gilbert Murray, his foreign partner, with all documents of proof. I wish as the heir apparent to claim and instruct that the above mentioned consignment be released in my favour.

Please accept this late application it was due to family logistics upon his funeral of my late father.

Yours sincerely,

Gilbert Murray

Gilbert, you have to send this very notification letter to the security company immediately, informing them the urgency of this your partner consignment in their security vault.

Indicate your email address, telephone and fax number so that the finance house will gain full access in contacting you when the time arises. Send the notification letter via the email and fax number indicated above. Email me as soon as you send it to the security company.

Waiting for your prompt response.

Best of luck,

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I am even more confused now

Sent: Sat, 25 Jun 2005 11:21:55

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I have just read your last email, and to be perfectly honest my dear chap, I am even more confused now than I was before.

First of all you tell me that we are not going to use your lawyer, Mr Mbaga, because he has demanded 20% of the total sum as payment. Now it seems that we are indeed going to be using Mr Mbaga’s services. Is this the case, and if so, how much exactly have you agreed to pay him? I still think we should consider getting a quote from Welsby.

Now you are telling me to contact someone at a security company. I’m sorry, Mr Kodjo, but I really think that we need to get the matter of the lawyer sorted out before we go any further. To move forward without doing this would only confuse matters.

Therefore, please get back to me as soon as you can with direct answers to the following questions:

  1. Are we using the services of Mr Mbaga, or not?
  2. If we are using his services, exactly how much have you agreed to pay him?
  3. Should I contact my own lawyer, Welsby, and ask him for a quotation? He might be considerably cheaper than Mr Mbaga.

I am away for the rest of the weekend. Please respond to these questions as soon as you can. If we can get these matters sorted out by Monday morning, then we will be able to proceed once I am back in the office.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I am even more confused now

Sent: Mon, 27 Jun 2005 03:25:41 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Gilbert,

I understand fully what you mean and please do not be confused about this. Mr Mbaga and I had a very clear understanding about this and the way he was requesting for too much knowing fully well that he had known my father before his death and the way he claimed to have been a family friend all this while, he then agreed to just work for our interest under the understanding that after everything, I will give him some money from what I decided. This however is a very diplomatic way of getting rid of Mr Mbaga.

I will suggest that we go alone on this, only bringing in help if we have any problems which I do not forsee, please, so that we can start, do not respond to Mr Mbaga. This will mean a loss of interest from you and he may not be obliged to contacting again and on my part I will tell him that I have suspended issues pending on when I can resume based on instructions from my mother.

Please, so that we can know where we are, send the application as I had given you the draft so that the processing can begin.

I hope you had a good weekend, have a nice day sir.

Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Thank you for clearing that up

Sent: Mon, 27 Jun 2005 11:56:17

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email, and for clarifying matters. I will do as you suggest, and completely ignore all further emails from the egregious Mr Mbaga.

Before we proceed though, there is still the matter of the memorandum of understanding that you sent me last week. As you will no doubt be aware, this memorandum refers to terms that are contained in an “official letter of authority”, which I have not yet seen. Until I see this letter and can be sure that I agree with its terms, I cannot sign and return the memorandum of understanding, and without this, surely we cannot move forward?

What should we do, Mr Kodjo? Do you have a copy of this “official letter of authority” that you can send me? If so, please send it to me by return so that we can finally get the memorandum of understanding signed. As soon as that is out of the way and we have agreed our terms of reference, I can contact the security company and get things moving.

Please do get back to me as soon as you can, my dear fellow. I am keen to make some progress here. All this faffing about with Mr Mbaga has wasted us valuable time.

I must go now: Chlamydia has just informed me that my next patient has arrived. I must get her to send him in, then she can go for her lunch. She tells me that she didn’t have time to get any breakfast this morning, and she is itching to get something filling inside her.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Respond urgently

Sent: Tue, 28 Jun 2005 16:18:02

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I am disappointed to see that you have not yet responded to the email I sent to you yesterday, in which I asked you to send me a copy of the “official letter of authority” to which the memorandum of understanding that you want me to sign refers.

I did think that this transaction had got off to a promising start. However, things started to take a turn for the worse towards the end of last week: first of all there was that hassle with Mr Mbaga, and now you seem to be taking rather a relaxed attitude towards answering my emails.

I am a busy man, Mr Kodjo, and I do not have time to waste on wild goose chases. If you are serious about continuing with this transaction, I suggest that you start treating it with a touch more urgency. You can start by answering the points I put to you in the email I sent to you yesterday and by sending me a copy of the “official letter of authority” that you promised me.

We do not seem to be making much progress here. Unless that changes pretty sharpish, I am afraid that I will be forced to reconsider my position: quite by chance, I have recently received a number of other promising business proposals, and unless you get your act together, I am seriously tempted to pursue one of those instead.

I must go now: Chlamydia has just informed me that my last patient of the day has arrived. Get back to me by return, or you can find yourself another business partner.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Thomas Mbaga

Subject: Regarding Mr Aloy Kodjo

Sent: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 17:24:40

Dear Mr Mbaga,

As you are aware, I was approached a short time ago by Mr Aloy Kodjo, who asked me to help him transfer a sealed box containing $11 million away from his greedy family and to safety.

Things were progressing well with this affair until a few days ago, when Mr Kodjo started to send me contradictory and confusing emails: first of all he told me that we would be using your services in this transaction, then he told me that he wanted nothing to do with you, then he told me that you would be getting in touch with me, and then he told once again that he wanted nothing to do with you. Now, Mr Kodjo appears to have stopped communicating altogether. I trust that you will be able to see why I am so confused.

I have to tell you, Mr Mbaga, as well as being extremely confused, I am more than a little worried about Mr Kodjo’s welfare. Given what he told me about the lengths to which his grasping family would be willing to go in order to get their hands on his money, I am wondering whether he has perhaps come to some harm at their hands. Or perhaps he has suffered some kind of mental breakdown? That would explain his strange and contradictory emails to me.

Do you know what is going on, Mr Mbaga? I do hope that you will be able to enlighten me on this matter. I am going on holiday this Friday for about ten days and I want to make sure that I know the status of this business before I go away so that it does not pray on my mind.

Please get back to me with a status update by return. I would appreciate it very much.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Respond urgently

Sent: Wed, 29 Jun 2005 10:50:55 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr Gilbert,

I must apologise to you on my late response to your mail. The reason is that I had to go and confer with my mother on the developments and she advised me that since I am convinced that you are a good man, then I should inform you that you should bear God in mind as a witness before us. She says that if we cannot trust each other then paper work will even bring more complications.

Therefore I would tell you that we have to move ahead on our original terms of agreement which you promised, which is at the end you will receive 20% of the total fund and help me relocate to your country. This is simple enough and I hope that it will give you the assurances that you may need.

My idea is that we should first get started by your submitting the application to the security company so that processing can start. I need money urgently so that I can take care of my mother’s medical bills. The security company has since sealed the box and put it in a consolidated balance making it difficult for us to hold it except in case of foreign transfer of fund, in which case I would establish with the security company after you must have submitted the application that you are a business partner of my late father so that they can release the deposit to you.

Have a good evening sir.

Kodjo


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: I wait

Sent: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 01:00:57 -0700 (PDT)

Dearest Mr Gilbert,

Good morning to you, though I have not got your mail today but I can presume that you are quite busy with patients. Anyway, I wrote to find out what you think about my mail yesterday. I need to take words back to my mother. She will be waiting to hear from me. Take care.

Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: What a relief to hear from you

Sent: Thu, 30 Jun 2005 10:02:16

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. What a relief to hear from you, my dear fellow. I must admit, I was starting to get worried about you: I thought perhaps your evil, greedy family had done something to you in order to get their hands on your money. I was so worried that I even emailed Mr Mbaga to see if he knew what was happening. Anyway, I am delighted to hear that everything is alright.

I must say, I think your mother talks a lot of sense: she is probably right when she says that paperwork would only complicate matters. Besides, paperwork involves lawyers, and lawyers cost money... especially lawyers like Mr Mbaga. With this in mind, I am happy to move forward as you suggest, with a gentlemens’ agreement.

So, the next step is for me to contact the security company. Unfortunately I go away on holiday tomorrow and I will not return until Monday 11th July. That is why I was so keen for us to make some progress earlier this week. As I will be unavailable for the next ten days (I am going camping with my wife in northern Scotland) I suggest that I wait until I return before contacting the security company. It will only complicate matters if I get in touch with them today and then disappear for ten days. What do you think?

I apologise for any inconvenience my holiday may cause, but it is unfortunately unavoidable. If only we hadn’t had so many delays over the past week...

Do get back to me before the end of the day and confirm that this will be acceptable to you, my dear fellow. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. You mentioned that your mother had some medical bills to pay. What is wrong with her, my dear chap? Is there anything I can do? I am a doctor, you know... if her problems are of a psychosexual nature, I may be able to do something to help.


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: What a relief to hear from you

Sent: Fri, 01 Jul 2005 01:24:13 -0700 (PDT)

Mr Gilbert,

As you go away on holidays, we stay and only wait. This is not too good, as you see, business before pleasure and I know that you stand to gain after everything, so if you can send the application for processing to start but inform them of your movement, I think that would be very nice.

All the same, have a nice day.

Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I will contact the security company tomorrow

Sent: Sun, 10 Jul 2005 10:09:21

Dear Mr Kodjo,

A quick note to let you know that I have returned from my holidays. I had a wonderfully relaxing time and now feel refreshed and ready to resume this transaction.

With this in mind, I will contact the security company tomorrow. I will let you know how I get on.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Michael Basil; Cc: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Consignment #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG

Sent: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 09:47:33

Attn: Dr Michael Basil, The Director of Operations, Foreign Deposit Dept, Global Securiritiesss (SARL), Lome, Togo

Notification for the release and transfer of one metal box consignment from vault #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG. Please be informed that I wish to come for the claim, release and transfer of the sum of one metal box consignment from vault #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG with your security company. The above consignment was deposited in your security vault by Mr Aloy Kodjo of Lome, Togo.

I am Mr Gilbert Murray, his foreign partner, with all documents of proof. I wish as the heir apparent to claim and instruct that the above mentioned consignment be released in my favour.

Please accept this late application it was due to family logistics upon his funeral of my late father.

Yours sincerely,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I will contact the security company tomorrow

Sent: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 01:38:28 -0700 (PDT)

Good day Mr Gilbert,

First let me use this opportunity to express my deep-rooted sympathy for the events that rocked London last Thursday. Even in the mist of events of global dimensions like G8 summits in Scotland and Olympics which was awarded to London, unfortunately these events were climaxed in pains created by people who claim to be humans. I mourn with the families of the bereaved and hope and wish the British authorities speed in catching the culprits.

To our business, I look forward to hearing from you after you must have engaged in communication with the security company. Welcome back, I am happy to hear that you had a nice time.

Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Could I ask a small favour of you?

Sent: Mon, 11 Jul 2005 10:44:29

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email and for your kind words of support regarding the events that occurred in London last week. There are some truly wicked people in the world, are there not?

As you will have seen from the email that I copied on to you, I contacted the security company this morning. I will let you know when I hear back from them.

I got back to the clinic this morning after my week away to find that my diary is bursting at the seams with patient appointments. That’s the only trouble with going away on holiday: there is always so much to catch up on when you get back.

Regarding my work at the clinic, I wonder if I could ask a small favour of you? I am currently conducting some important research into the psychosexual health of the general public, and I was wondering if you would be willing to help me out with this by completing a short questionnaire? It’s not very long at all and it would only take you a couple of minutes to complete. It’s also completely confidential: you don’t even have to put your name to it.

You really would be doing me a huge favour by agreeing to complete the questionnaire. Please let me know if you would be willing to participate, and I will send you a copy of the questionnaire by return.

I must go: Chlamydia has just rung through to let me know that my next patient has arrived. Do let me know about the questionnaire.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Ishmael Agossou

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Acknowledgement

Sent: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 17:33:53 +0800

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

We acknowledge the receipt of your application of claim with relation to the deposit #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG, we will however go through our files on the said deposit and would communicate with you our findings and procedures for the release in the next coming days.

Thank you very much for the expected co-operation.

Best regards,

Dr Ishmael Agossou


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: Thank you for your acknowledgement

Sent: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 11:19:33

Dear Dr Agossou,

Thank you for your acknowledgement of the email I sent yesterday to Dr Basil, who I assume is a colleage of yours at the security company, regarding deposit #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG.

Please get back to me as soon as you can with details of what we need to do in order to release the consignment into my custody. My associate Mr Kodjo and I are both keen to expedite this matter. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I have heard back from the security company

Sent: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 11:21:09

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Good news, my dear fellow: I have heard back from the security company. A chap called Agossou sent me a mail earlier this morning. Apparently they are looking into my claim and are going to get back to me with further details in the next few days.

On the subject of the consignment, something has just struck me. In my initial email to the security company, I told them that I had “all documents of proof” that would prove me to be the rightful beneficiary. However, I don’t actually have any documents to prove this at all. I presume that this is something that your lawyer, Mr Mbaga, was going to sort out before we decided to move forward without him. Should I get in touch with my own lawyer, Welsby, and see if he would be able to help us out here? Do let me know.

How is your mother, by the way? You mentioned that she was not well. Do give her my best wishes.

Let me know about Welsby. Oh, and let me know about that questionnaire I told you about yesterday. Shall I send one onto you? I really would appreciate your help with my research.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I have heard back from the security company

Sent: Tue, 12 Jul 2005 11:46:05 -0700 (PDT)

Mr Gilbert,

I am very happy that we are making progress. We will have to wait until the next mail they give you so that I can know exactly what they will require. You do not need contact anybody now because I know and hope that we can handle it.

Meanwhile, give me the questionnaire let me look at it. My mum is getting better.

Please take care of yourself especially with recent developments. Have a good evening.

Sincerely,

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I have attached the questionnaire

Sent: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 09:45:38

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. Firstly, I am relieved to hear that your mother is getting better. You didn’t actually tell me what was wrong with her, but whatever is up with her, make sure she drinks plenty of water and eats plenty of fruit. You can’t go wrong with that advice, believe me.

No word back from the security company as yet. Hopefully I will hear back from them later today. I have told them that we are both keen to move forward as quickly as possible.

Now then, thank you ever so much for agreeing to help me with my research. I am extremely grateful for your help: the more responses I can get from people, the more reliable the resulting data will be at the end of my research.

I have attached a copy of the questionnaire for you to fill in. Please note the following points about it when filling it in:

  • The questionnaire is completely confidential. Therefore, please don’t sign or print your name anywhere on it.
  • Do not omit any questions; please answer them all.
  • If none of the answers to a question feel exactly right, please pick the answer that is closest to the way you feel. The questionnaire uses a tried and tested method of questioning, so don’t worry if some of your answers don’t match exactly how you feel.
  • Finally, please do not be embarrassed by any of the questions. I deal with this kind of thing all day in my line of work.

Please fill in the questionnaire as quickly as you can, scan it in and get it back to me by the end of the week. Thank you once again for your help.

I must go now: dear Chlamydia has informed me that my next patient has arrived. I will get back to you as soon as I hear back from the security company.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Gilbert’s questionnaire
(Click to enlarge)


From: Ishmael Agossou

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: INFORMATION

Sent: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 16:57:45 +0800

ATTN: GILBERT MURRAY,

WITH REFERENCE TO YOUR MAIL FOR THE CLAIM OF CONSIGNMENT NUMBER #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG I HEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR QUEST THEREIN WITH VERDICT AS RELEASED FROM THE BOARD OF DIRECTORS OF THIS SECURITY COMPANY WEEKLY MEETING HELD THIS MORNING OUR OWN LOCAL TIME.

AS WE RECEIVED INFORMATION OF THE DEATH OF OUR ESTEEMED CUSTOMER HIS HIGHNESS PHILIP KODJO EFIA ATAFIA OF IGBODO, WE DECIDED TO PLACE HIS CONSIGNMENT WITH US ON HOLD PENDING WHEN THE BENEFICIARY COMES UP.

WE HAVE BEEN INFORMED BY MR ALOY KODJO AND HIS MOTHER NANA AKOFALA KODJO AND SO CLAIM IS IN CONSONANCE WITH OUR MEASURES IN CASES OF THIS NATURE. WE INFORM YOU THAT WE HAVE TO FOLLOW OUR OFFICIAL ROUTINE CHECKS AND BALANCES BEFORE WE RELEASE THIS CONSIGNMENT ELSE WE RELEASE IT IN ERROR. WE HAVE TO BE VERY CAUTIOUS ABOUT THIS PARTICULAR DEPOSIT DUE TO THE IMMUNITY ATTACHED TO IT.

TO NO MUCH AVAIL, AS THE INTENDING BENEFICIARY, YOU ARE EXPECTED TO FORWARD TO ME BY EMAIL ATTACHMENT THE FOLLOWING:

  1. YOUR IDENTIFICATION, VIZ INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVER’S LICENCE OR ANY OTHER RELEVANT IDENTIFICATION INCLUDING VOTER’S ID CARD OR NATIONAL ID CARD.
  2. THE PROCESSING FEE OF £372.40 (THREE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY TWO BRITISH POUNDS FORTY PENCE) PAYABLE THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OR MONEYGRAM WITH THE NAME OF OUR SECRETARY: MISS SANDRA BROWN, LOME, TOGO.

SEND THE PAYMENT INFORMATION, VIZ:

  1. NAME OF SENDER.
  2. PHONE NUMBER OF SENDER.
  3. ADDRESS OF SENDER.
  4. AMOUNT SENT AND CONTROL NUMBER.

AS SOON AS WE RECEIVE THE ABOVE REQUESTED AND WE CONCLUDE VERIFICATIONS, YOU WILL BE INFORMED OF THE REST OF THE FORMALITIES IN GETTING THIS CONSIGNMENT RELEASED TO YOU AS THE PROCEDURE DEMANDS. FURTHER COUNT DOWN ON YOUR DIFFERENCES WITH THIS SECURITY COMPANY WILL BE RELAYED TO YOU.

WE WILL BE EXPECTING TO BE HEARING FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU SEND THE REQUESTED INFORMATION. DO NOT HESITATE TO CALL ME FOR FURTHER INFORMATION THAT YOU MAY DEEM NECESSARY.

THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE YOU.

YOURS SINCERELY,

DR ISHMAEL AGOSSOU

DIRECT LINE: +228 908 3782

Global Securities and Finance sarl, 45D Rue 13 Janvier, BP 45621, Lome, Republic of Togo
Fax: +228 250 1861
RGCTG# 45689
TOGBI MAXWELL DIMKPA (Chairman of Board) English
“Preserving your valuables is our concern”


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Good news from the security company

Sent: Wed, 13 Jul 2005 14:36:42

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Good news from the security company: Dr Agossou has just got back to me and informed me that everything checks out at their end. All they need from us to move forward is some valid identification and a processing fee of £372.40.

Do you want to pay the fee to the security company, or would you rather I sorted it out? It just struck me that it might be easier for you to sort out, seeing as you’re in the same city as the security company. Now that we know how much they want, perhaps you could pop along to the security company later today and sort things out with them?

Of course, if this will be a problem for you, do let me know and I’ll see what I can do from this end.

I’ll wait until I hear back from you before responding to Dr Agossou.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. Did that questionnaire get through to you OK? Do get it back to me as soon as you can so I can add your responses to the database.


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: Good news from the security company

Sent: Thu, 14 Jul 2005 02:23:08 -0700 (PDT)

Dearest Mr Gilbert,

With every mail brings us closer to this objective and as well as our hopes and aspirations of my mother and younger sibling.

I would ask you on behalf of my mother to please help us through with the money, though it is small but all the little available money we have now was used for medication and we are still owing and waiting that as soon as we are through with the releasing and transfer of the money, I will pay what the hospital is going to charge us and then we move ahead.

We would appreciate it very much if you help us from your end. We will pay you back everything and then what of the needed identification? What type is it? I will fill and return the questionnaire tomorrow evening when I come back from going to see somebody on behalf of my mother.

Thanks very much for the update.

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: I’ll sort out the money then

Sent: Thu, 14 Jul 2005 12:06:54

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. Message received and understood: I’ll sort out the money and get it to the security company as soon as I can.

These hospital bills you’re on about: how large are they? I know what medical bills can be like – you should see what we charge patients here at the Oedipus Clinic – so listen Mr Kodjo, if you’re finding it difficult to pay the hospital for your mother’s treatment, please don’t be too proud to say so. I may be able to help you out. After all, thanks to you I’m going to be a very rich man, so if you need some help in paying these bills in the meantime, that’s the least I can do. If I can help you out of a tight spot, it would be my way of saying thank you.

Oh, you mentioned identification. The security company just needs a copy of my driving licence or passport. That won’t be a problem. I’m a bit tied up with patients for the rest of the day, but I should be able to get back to them with everything they need tomorrow.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: Consignment #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG

Sent: Thu, 14 Jul 2005 15:41:08

Dear Dr Agossou,

Thank you for your email regarding consignment #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG which I am claiming. I must apologise for not getting back to you sooner, but I have just returned from holiday and there is so much work to catch up on. I’m sure you know what it is like.

Thank you also for clarifying what you need from me in order to proceed. I will scan in my passport this evening, so I should be able to send that to you tomorrow.

As for the processing fee of £372.40, would it be possible to transfer it directly into your corporate bank account rather than sending it by Western Union or MoneyGram? That would be a lot easier for me: the nearest Western Union and MoneyGram agents are some distance away, but all it would take to transfer the money into your bank account would be a simple phone call to my bank.

If this is acceptable to you, please forward me the details of the bank account into which you would like me to transfer the money. I will make the transfer as soon as I receive them.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

PS. Could I ask you not to type out your next email COMPLETELY IN CAPITAL LETTERS? It made your last email terribly difficult to read.


From: Ishmael Agossou

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Account information

Sent: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 03:42:33 +0800

Attn: Gilbert Murray,

Find below our account information:

BIATOGO, 13 Rue du Commerce, BP 346, Lome, Togo

Account no: 36014985 - 81

Swift code: BILT TG TG

Beneficiary signature: Madam A Adzafanu Akosua

You should transfer the said amount and send to us a copy of the payment slip together with your identity as requested, but bear in mind that no processing will be done until we confirm the said amount in our accounts. Also state clearly for us your contact address and phone and fax number.

We look forward to greater co-operation.

Best regards,

Dr Ishmael Agossou

Global Securities and Finance sarl, 45D Rue 13 Janvier, BP 45621, Lome, Republic of Togo
Fax: +228 xxx xxxx
RGCTG# 45689
TOGBI MAXWELL DIMKPA (Chairman of Board) English
“Preserving your valuables is our concern”


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: Consignment #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG

Sent: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 09:24:11

Dear Dr Agossou,

Thank you for sending me the details of your corporate bank account so promptly. As soon as I read your email, I telephoned my bank in order to transfer the processing fee to you. However, I found out to my dismay that transferring money overseas is a little more complicated than transferring money between bank accounts here in the UK, and the bank told me that I cannot complete the transfer without visiting the bank in person. I did not realise this, and I can only apologise for any delay this may have caused.

As this is the case and as I would have to travel into town anyway to visit my bank, I may as well transfer the fee to you via Western Union so that you do not have to wait for the bank transfer to clear.

However, my diary is completely full today and I am going away for the weekend with my wife, so I will not be able to transfer the money to you until Monday. Again, I apologise for any delay this may cause.

Looking on the bright side, I do have a few hours free first thing on Monday morning, so I will travel into town then and transfer the processing fee to Sandra Brown via Western Union. I trust that this will be acceptable.

I managed to scan in my passport last night (with a little help from my son, Gilbert Jnr). I have attached it to this email. You asked for my address too. It is Hemlock Cottage, Cold Harbour Lane, Gypping in the Marsh, Lincolnshire, UK.

I will get back to you on Monday as soon as I have transferred the money to Ms Brown. I hope you have a pleasant weekend.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Gilbert’s forged passport
(Click to enlarge)


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: I’ll sort out the money then

Sent: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 01:44:47 -0700 (PDT)

Dearest Mr Gilbert,

Thanks very much for the kind gesture to help out. For now I have not received the medical bills as we are still buying medications, but by the time we are through and my mother is to be discharged, I will be in a position to take care of the bills.

Nevertheless, thanks very much for offering to help out. It assures me that you are a true friend, because as they say, a friend in need is a friend indeed.

I will get back to you in the evening with the questionnaire.

Aloy


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: An update on the situation

Sent: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 12:03:43

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email and for your kind words. I trust that your mother is making a full recovery from whatever it was that was ailing her. Please pass on my best wishes to her. Are you making sure she drinks lots of water and eats lots of fruit as I advised you to?

My own mother was a remarkably healthy woman when she was alive. She was also extremely superstitious and she always maintained that her good health was down to the rabbit’s foot that she wore around her neck to ward off disease. Unfortunately, even if that was true (which I very much doubt), the rabbit’s foot wasn’t nearly as effective at warding off the number 27 bus that ran her over and caused her untimely demise back in 1984. Oh well, such is life.

To give you a quick update on the situation, I have sent the security company a copy of my passport and I have arranged to transfer the processing fee to them first thing on Monday morning. As soon as we get that out of the way, I have a feeling that it won’t be long before your consignment is safely in our possession.

I am going away with my wife for the weekend. I trust that you will have a pleasant time over there in Togo. I look forward to receiving the questionnaire back from you later today.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: An update on the situation

Sent: Fri, 15 Jul 2005 11:20:26 -0700 (PDT)

Dearest Mr Gilbert,

I have come back and I have filled the questionnaire. It is very absurd and contains questions about sexual behaviours that no one would think about here in Africa. Anybody that indulges in those would definitely become an outcast. I look forward to when the consignment is secured. I wish you and your wife a happy weekend and please be careful about terrorists.

Best wishes,

Aloy

The completed questionnaire
(Click to enlarge)


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: I have transferred your processing fee to Ms Brown

Sent: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 10:55:58

Dear Dr Agossou,

I trust that you had a pleasant weekend. I travelled into town first thing this morning and transferred your processing fee to Ms Brown via Western Union.

Please find attached a scanned copy of the transfer receipt. The Western Union agent assured me that all of the information Ms Brown needs to collect the money is included on the receipt. I don’t think it’s strictly necessary, but it might be worth Ms Brown taking a copy of the receipt along to the Western Union agent when she goes to collect the money. I’m not sure whether she will have to show any form of identification, but the Western Union agent advised that it might also be worth her taking along something like her passport or her driver’s licence.

Please get back to me as soon as Ms Brown has collected the money and advise me of the next step we need to take in order to release this consignment into my custody.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray

Gilbert’s forged Western Union receipt
(Click to enlarge)


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Thank you for returning the questionnaire

Sent: Mon, 18 Jul 2005 11:05:11

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I trust that you enjoyed your weekend. Elizabeth and I had a very nice time away. Thank you for your concern.

You will be pleased to hear that I have just returned from town, where I transferred the processing fee to the security company via Western Union. I have asked Dr Agossou to get back to me as soon as his assistant has collected the money so that we can move forward.

Now then, to the questionnaire. Thank you for returning it to me. I very much appreciate your help with my research.

I must say, Mr Kodjo, although you may think that the questionnaire was “very absurd” and that it “contains questions about sexual behaviours that no one would think about here in Africa”, I can assure you that you could not be more wrong. You may think that such matters are rare and unusual, but nothing could be further from the truth; such sexual behaviours are, in actual fact, extremely common indeed – especially, for some reason, here in Gypping in the Marsh, which is what enables me to make such a good living here at the Oedipus Clinic. You probably think that they are rare simply because it’s not the sort of thing that most people freely admit to.

The questionnaire I sent you uses a tried and tested quantitative method of analysis that was devised by the celebrated Swedish Doctor of Psychosexuality, Dr Bent Bjornsson. It is specifically designed to reveal aspects of a subject’s sexuality from deep within their subconscious; in other words, it is designed to reveal things that even the subject themselves may not be consciously aware of.

With this in mind – and please do not take this the wrong way, as I am merely giving you the benefit of my professional opinion here – I have to say that I was somewhat disturbed by some of the answers you gave, my dear fellow. They reveal certain tendencies and predispositions within you which indicate that you would be an ideal candidate for psychosexual therapy.

For example, in your answer to question 2 (“What is your sexual orientation?”), you state that you are “outwardly heterosexual”. This use of the word “outwardly” is extremely interesting: it indicates that whilst outwardly you are attempting to present an impression of heterosexuality, inwardly something else entirely is going on. Given the depth of my experience in this field, your answer indicates to me that you are actually suppressing innate homosexual tendencies. This is backed up by your answers to questions 4, 5 and 7.

Your answer to question 8 (“How do you feel about your penis?”) is also very telling. Your answer (“it’s too small”) indicates a deep-seated sense of sexual inadequacy. It is very likely that this is linked to the fact that you appear to be suppressing your natural homosexual tendencies. Would I be right in assuming that you find that your sexual relationships with women tend to be somewhat unsatisfactory?

However, I am most disturbed by your answers to questions 3 and 6 (“What is your ultimate sexual fantasy?” and “What sight arouses you most sexually?”). Your answers (“having sex with your mother” and “your mother”) indicate something extremely worrying indeed: your desire to possess your mother sexually and to exclude your father. There is a name for this complex – its name escapes me at this moment in time – but I have come across a number of similar cases here at the Oedipus Clinic in the past. This complex needs urgent treatment: it can be a source of personality disorders if left unresolved. Does your mother know how you feel about her? I would advise you to keep this from her for the time being.

In my professional opinion, Mr Kodjo, your answers to this questionnaire – especially your answers to questions 3 and 6 – have revealed that you are in urgent need of psychosexual therapy. As such therapy can be expensive (not that this will be a problem for you once we have retrieved the consignment from the security company) I would like to offer you a half-price course of treatment here at the Oedipus Clinic. If you are in agreement, we could commence treatment when you travel over here with your family and stay in my caravan. What do you say?

Incidentally (and please do not take this the wrong way), given the somewhat disturbing answers you have given in the questionnaire, I will have to ask you to keep your distance from my wife Elizabeth and from my son Gilbert Jnr until you have completed the course of psychosexual therapy. I am sure you can appreciate that one cannot be too careful where the safety of one’s family is concerned. For the moment, I would also advise you to keep some distance between yourself and your mother, and perhaps to start to explore the more feminine side of your psyche that you are currently suppressing. It’s best not to bottle these things up.

Do let me know what you think about my offer of cut-price therapy, my dear fellow. I do hope you will take me up on the offer. I know that I will be able to help you out... and having looked at your answers to those questions, take it from me as a doctor that you definitely do need help, Mr Kodjo.

It may comfort you in some small way to know that you’re not the only sexual deviant out there; my work diary is booked solid seeing people like you for the next few months. You’re not alone, Mr Kodjo.

Talking of sexual deviants, I must get back to work now. I will let you know when I hear back from Dr Agossou regarding the consignment.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: Has Ms Brown collected the processing fee yet?

Sent: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 11:16:30

Dear Dr Agossou,

Please get back to me by return and confirm whether your colleague Ms Brown has collected the processing fee of £372.40 that I transferred to her yesterday via Western Union. Please also advise me of the next step we need to take in order to release consignment #Pss/1001/44986-00/TG into my custody.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: No word yet from Dr Agossou

Sent: Tue, 19 Jul 2005 15:29:51

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I have not heard back from Dr Agossou as yet regarding the processing fee that I transferred to his colleague yesterday. Have you heard anything from him? I do hope everything is alright. Perhaps he is very busy today.

I do hope I didn’t offend you yesterday with my comments on the answers you gave when you completed that questionnaire. I was only trying to give you dispassionate and professional feedback following your responses.

I know that it can be difficult to come to terms with things like this, but believe me Mr Kodjo, efficacious therapies are available. You should count yourself lucky that you contacted a professional psychosexual therapist when you did. I truly believe that with my help you will be able to work through your issues and end up with something approximating a normal sex life.

Tell me, Mr Kodjo, how is your mother getting on? Is she feeling any better? Tell her that I am thinking of her next time you see her.

Come to think about it, it might be better if you were to telephone her to see how she is, rather than going to visit her in person. It’s probably best if you avoid temptation whenever possible.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo; Cc: Ishmael Agossou

Subject: More disturbing revelations

Sent: Wed, 20 Jul 2005 13:59:30

Dear Mr Kodjo,

I am sorry to say that I have discovered yet more about your personality since I received that questionnaire back from you. I passed it onto a colleague of mine, Dr Gibson, who happens to be a skilled graphologist. For your benefit and to stop you having to look up the word in a dictionary Mr Kodjo, that means he is a specialist in inferring character from handwriting. I asked Dr Gibson to analyse the childlike scrawl that you had added to the right hand margin of the questionnaire.

Dr Gibson got back to me today with the results of his analysis, and I have to tell you that they make shocking reading.

First of all, Dr Gibson commented on the way in which you dot your I’s. He tells me that this method of dotting I’s is much more common to women than to men, and when used by men it is a sure indicator of someone who is very confused about their sexuality. As you know, this fits in with my own findings from your questionnaire results, in which I established that you were suppressing your homosexual tendencies.

Secondly, Dr Gibson commented on the way in which you cross your T’s. This apparently indicates someone who has an obsession about sleeping with their mother. As you know, this is also something I picked up from your answers to my questionnaire. I do wish I could remember what that particular complex is called. Its name still escapes me...

Thirdly, Dr Gibson commented on the pronounced hook shape of your Y. Apparently this is a sure indicator of someone who fornicates with goats. I have to say that this came as something of a shock to me, although it will of course come as no surprise to you... or, one would have to presume, to any of the goats in your neighbourhood.

Finally, Dr Gibson commented on the extremely unusual S in the word “absurd”. He assures me that this is an indicator of someone who is dishonest in the extreme. According to Dr Gibson, research has shown that the only people who write the letter S in this way are criminals, crooks, fraudsters and scammers. However, when taken in conjunction with the distinctive shape of your N’s, Dr Gibson tells me that this indicates someone who is not bright enough to be very good at scamming... which is good news for your intended victims.

Given these new revelations about your personal life, I am sorry to have to tell you that I have been forced to reconsider my business partnership with you. There is no way I want my good name associated with an incompetent fraudster of dubious sexuality who fornicates with goats and eyes his own mother with lust. It just wouldn’t be good for my reputation. I’m sure you understand.

With this in mind, I am going to cancel the Western Union transfer that I made to Dr Agossou’s assistant and give up on this entire business.

I am sorry, Mr Kodjo, but you will just have to find someone else to help you with your myriad sexual deviancies. It’s too much for me to cope with.

I must go. Chlamydia has just announced the arrival of my next patient... thankfully, one with significantly less sexual problems than you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Is that so?

Sent: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 02:17:10 -0700 (PDT)

Gilbert,

I knew it right from the start that you are nobody, in fact you don’t have money and so are a very poor man. I was playing games with you trying to know your gullibility. Do you really think that I am in a position to scam you? I don’t have time for a character of your type. I only needed someone trustworthy who will not be easily conned so that he can manage my father’s estate.

I see that you are a clown. Maybe you are a terrorist or worse. Still I think you love afghan and for your information, I think you are a maniac who is sexually obsessed because you have hidden fantasies since your little mind is able to dwell into absurdities.

Have fun. Soon the Scotland Yard will catch up with you as I know that you are an al qeada (sic) financier.

Your friend,

Rt Hon Aloy Kodjo


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: It’s you the police will be after, not me

Sent: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 10:37:11

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Thank you for your email. Your risible attempts at insulting me raised a smile.

Regarding the authorities, I think you’ll find that it’s you the police will be after, not me. Especially now that I have passed on details of you and your associates to the relevant authorities. It was very good of “Dr Agossou” to provide me with those bank account details. It shouldn’t take too long to get that account frozen.

As for managing “your father’s estate”, I’m afraid you’re going to find that rather difficult to do from the inside of a fetid prison cell. Oh well, you should have thought about that before you decided to become a 419 scammer.

Have you ever considered going out and getting a proper job? One that you could be proud of? I’d certainly consider a change of career if I were you, because you make a hopeless 419 scammer.

It was nice doing business with you. Keep away from those goats now, won’t you? Just because they bleat, it doesn’t mean they are enjoying it.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


From: Aloy Kodjo

To: Gilbert Murray

Subject: Re: It’s you the police will be after, not me

Sent: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 03:29:17 -0700 (PDT)

You’re a bingo mumu mahu and a foolish man. Don’t you write to me again because if I catch you, I will lock you up in a sanatorium because you are an escaped lunatic.


From: Gilbert Murray

To: Aloy Kodjo

Subject: Ooh, I love it when you get angry

Sent: Thu, 21 Jul 2005 11:47:56

Dear Mr Kodjo,

Ooh, I love it when you get angry. You come up with some very amusing insults.

Just think, you’ll have plenty of time to think up some more insults when you’ve been locked up in jail where you belong... when you’re not too busy being used as a sexual plaything by the large, sweaty, frustrated man you’ll probably get to share your cell with.

Go and get yourself a proper job. Something you’re more suited to. Sweeping dung off the streets, for example. It may not be the best job in the world, but it suits your abilities and at least you’d be able to look people in the face, confident in the knowledge that you were an honest man.

What must your poor mother think of you? I’ll bet she’s terribly ashamed that her son has turned out the way you have. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that she’d disowned you.

Best regards,

Gilbert Murray


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